The portrait of a godly woman

The book of Proverbs is filled with practical wisdom regarding every major category of life. In this book, we're taught about the importance of trusting in the Lord, living a godly life, demonstrating honesty and integrity, practicing good financial stewardship, and filtering out the influence of anyone who attempts to steer us in an ungodly direction.

Early in the book, we're also given vivid examples that relate to women, specifically the kind of women we should not allow to gain a foothold in our lives. But now, the book culminates with an example of the kind of woman that everyone can look to as an example of godliness and wise living. The words of this proverb were first taught to King Lemuel by his mother. We know nothing else about either of them, but the Holy Spirit has been using these words for centuries to steer both women and men in a godly direction.

So, what does this proverb teach us about the life and character of a truly godly woman?

I. She can be trusted

An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12)

One of the things that I appreciate most about the Lord is that everything He says is true. Scripture teaches us that it is impossible for God to lie (Heb. 6:18), so if we claim to be followers of Christ who are indwelled with the Holy Spirit, we too should reflect the truthful heart of God.

The honest and trustworthy heart of God is clearly reflected in the life of a godly woman. This Scripture describes her as excellent and precious. Her husband is able to trust her completely. He doesn't have to worry about what she's doing, who she's with, what she's spending, or what she's saying. His heart can be at rest knowing that his wife's heart is in alignment with the trustworthy heart of Christ.

I recently learned of a husband who has a trustworthy wife, but he refuses to trust her. He experienced some relational damage in the past, before he even knew her, and now he transposes that pain onto his wife and treats her with distrust due to his past trauma. In essence, he's robbing himself of experiencing the blessing the Lord has graciously given him.

When you get married, you're taking a risk to trust someone else. You can't control what they do or what they don't do with your trust, but you can choose to be trustworthy in your interactions with them. As Christ can be trusted, and as the godly woman in this proverb demonstrated trustworthiness, so too should we display trustworthiness and integrity toward one another.

II. She isn't afraid of work

She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
    she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. (Proverbs 31:13-16)

If you ever want to see my wife smile and then immediately roll her eyes, ask her to tell you about all the painting projects I have asked her to help me with over the course of the past few decades. Between houses we lived in and ministries we led, a significant amount of painting was needed. One of our children even told us recently that the smell of paint is the primary smell that reminds her of her childhood. I'm grateful for the work-ethic of my wife.

That's something we also see demonstrated in Proverbs 31. The godly woman in this passage is spoken of as a woman who works with willing hands. She makes great use of materials and tools. She rises early to feed her family and those under her oversight. She is even described as being a shrewd businessperson as she transacts in land purchases.

There is a certain sense of dignity in hard work. We don't work to somehow earn the Lord's favor, but the work we do can be done for His glory as an investment in the greater work of His kingdom. I see that mindset at work in the labors of the godly woman described in this proverb.

III. She carries herself with poise and dignity

She dresses herself with strength
    and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle. (Proverbs 31:17-19)

Have you ever met someone in person that wasn't anything like how you perceived them to be from a distance? Earlier this year, I met someone that I've known for a while, but I had never actually met her in person. From a distance, she seemed serious and mature. In person, I was left with the exact opposite impression.

A godly woman isn't clothed with immaturity. She's dressed with strength. She demonstrates poise and dignity. She's the type of person that exceeds the impression you had when you only knew her at a distance.

IV. She proactively meets the needs of others

She opens her hand to the poor
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple. (Proverbs 31:20-22)

The other day, I read a story of a younger child that started saving up the money she earned from completing household chores. Once she saved a specific amount, she asked her mother to take her to the store so she could buy water bottles, individual size bags of chips, and a few other snacks. Then she asked her mother to take her to an area park where the homeless frequently set up camp, and she gave away the water and snacks until she ran out.

A godly woman demonstrates that kind of heart. It's a heart of compassion. It's the heart of Christ. As Christ has lovingly looked at us with compassion during our season of need, then took action to meet our needs on the deepest level, so too does a woman who lives a godly life. She opens her hands to the poor. She generously shares what she has with those who are in need. Her heart is motivated by Christ to be the hands and feet of Christ to those who need a gift of grace.

I also like how this portion of Scripture tells us that she doesn't need to fear for the well-being of her household because she knows their needs have been proactively met. It can snow, but that's OK because they're all properly clothed. Her care and provision for those she loves allows them to rest, much like what we experience when we learn to trust the Lord to meet our needs. In Christ, we find rest because He has graciously and proactively given us all we need for life and godliness.

"By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence." (2 Peter 1:3, NLT)

V. She makes you look good to your peers

Her husband is known in the gates
    when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come. (Proverbs 31:23-25)

When I was in college, I worked during the semesters and I worked during the summer. The nature of my summer work usually involved working for camping ministries, but the location sometimes changed. I remember one particular summer, just before my senior year, when I was offered the program director position at the camp my wife attended and worked at. They didn't know me very well, but they knew her, and they figured if she was willing to date me, that was a sufficient endorsement. I was literally offered a senior staff position because they thought so well of my wife. Her reputation made me look good.

We see that same concept at work in Proverbs 31. We're told that the husband of the godly woman was known at the gates when he would sit among the elders. That was a position of respect and esteem. At the gates, the elders would make decisions and judgments on behalf of others. To be welcomed among them meant that you were respected by them. A major contributor to a man experiencing that kind of respect in that generation, and in ours, is the godly character of his wife. She reflects the heart of Christ so clearly that she makes anyone she's willing to associate herself with look better than they ever could have on their own.

VI. She generously shares her wisdom

She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:26)

One of the wisest women I have ever had the privilege to know was my grandmother. There are so many things that I learned from her that I implement in my day-to-day life and gladly pass down to my children. She loved Jesus, loved her family, and wanted to see the generations that came from her do well and succeed.

This is yet another mark of a godly woman. When she opens her mouth, she speaks with wisdom. Kind words flow forth from her tongue. As one who is conscious of the love of Christ, she breathes out the grace of Christ with the words she speaks.

VII. Those who love her speak well of her

She looks well to the ways of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:27-31)

Recently, two friends of mine did me a nice favor that certainly met with my wife's approval. They messaged my wife to tell her some of the nice things I had said about her when I was in their presence. I thought that was nice, and I meant every word of it. I don't know why it stood out to them, but it must have made an impression since they decided to repeat it.

And even though as followers of Christ we live to give Him praise, it shouldn't surprise any woman who devotes her life to following Christ, blessing others, and serving people in His name, when she ends up receiving praise and appreciation from those she's been serving. The Scripture tells us that her children rise up and speak well of her, and her husband does the same because a woman "who fears the Lord is to be praised."

I'm sincerely grateful for the godly women the Lord has blessed me with the privilege of knowing throughout the course of my life. That list certainly includes my grandmothers, mother, wife, and daughters. It also includes many godly women in our church family and in my home church who have taught me directly about Jesus and given me a glimpse of His heart through their words, action, and character.

Never underestimate the kind of impact Jesus can make on the lives of others through your life if you choose to fully surrender it to Him. Prepare to be amazed. Let Him make you a portrait of godliness.

© John Stange, 2021

How can you resist living in the fear of man?

Our family has some strange habits that, if I'm honest, I don't really find strange at all. In fact, some of these habits involve behaviors that I heartily recommend to others if they're willing to be a little counter-cultural.

Several of those habits relate to the way we behave in restaurants. Anyone who knows me well knows that, for a season, my father owned a restaurant and a grocery store when I was in high school. I worked at both, and I still have a great appreciation for those who work in the business of selling or preparing food.

When the Lord blessed my wife and me with four children in close proximity to each other, we knew that it might be a challenge to visit restaurants as a family for a few years unless we insisted on some very specific parameters. One rule we insisted on was that they mind their behavior, and I used to tell them, "If our server or someone we don't know in this restaurant comes to our table and compliments your behavior, you'll be getting dessert." More often than not, that's exactly what would happen and we would reward the children with something sweet after the meal.

Another thing we insisted on from a very early age was that they ordered their own food and asked for their own refills. We frequently noticed that many children are quite fearful of speaking with adults. Some struggle to maintain eye contact and hold a conversation with a superior, and we wanted to see if we could teach our children to operate differently from a very early age. Thankfully, it didn't take a long time for them to catch on, and this practice helped them to learn how to speak up for themselves in an appropriate way.

But here's the thing, children aren't the only people who fear interacting with others. Adults fear it too. One of the major struggles that many of us as adults wrestle with is our fear of the opinions and attitudes of other people. In fact, some of us fear our fellow man so much that we idolize humanity. We might even spend the majority of our lives elevating the opinions of others over the decrees of God. I think it's fair to say that's what most people on this planet are presently doing.

So how can we go about our lives without being paralyzed by the fear of man? What principles does Scripture demonstrate for us that can fill our minds with the perspective that helps us defeat an unhealthy fear of others? How can we live out Solomon's teaching that, "The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe." ? (Proverbs 29:25)

I. Realize there is no such thing as celebrity

Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.  For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their craftiness,” and again, “The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.”  So let no one boast in men. (1 Cor. 3:18-21a)

The Apostle Paul was someone who understood what it was like to walk by faith, and he bravely went to many cities and towns during the first century to preach the gospel, disciple new believers, plant churches, and raise up leaders. That wasn't an easy task, and even he admitted that there were times when he struggled with nervousness when he was speaking in front of certain crowds. The people of the city of Corinth were definitely a group that seemed to make Paul a little nervous.

Do you ever feel nervous when you're speaking in front of group? I think most of us do, but here's something that helps me when I'm doing it. Maybe it will help you too. If you want to overcome your nervousness, start measuring the success of your presentation by whether or not you're helping people, instead of whether or not they praise you for how you looked while doing it.

I think one of the reasons Paul had a difficult time speaking to the Corinthians was because they seemed to have a chip on their shoulders. Many of them seemed to think they were better than others, and that attitude was actually causing division within the Corinthian church. So Paul confronted that problem when he wrote to them.

He told those who thought they were wiser than others to humble themselves so that their pride didn't rob them of the opportunity they were being given to learn godly wisdom. Paul contrasted the wisdom of this world with the wisdom of God, and he reminded the church that the wisdom of the world is foolishness and will come to nothing.

But if we persist in idolizing the wisdom of this world, we'll also begin idolizing those who disseminate it. That's how celebrity culture emerges, and that's a big problem right now. People from all age brackets are making ungodly decisions because they first saw that mindset modeled by a celebrity.

The other day, I took my youngest daughter out for a slice of pizza. Right as we pulled up to the pizza place, I got a message letting me know that a well-known "celebrity" had just offered to make two appearances on my podcast. Thankfully, this person shares godly counsel, but my daughter asked me, "Are you going to be nervous about interviewing her?" I replied, "No, I don't think so. I used to get a little nervous when I did these interviews, but in recent months I've come to realize that there's no such thing as a celebrity. People are just people. Some share helpful things, and others just want attention."

How are we carrying ourselves? Are we trying to be celebrities, or do we demonstrate a servant's heart like Jesus? Are we idolizing celebrities, or is Christ the one we trust?

II. Understand who you really answer to

Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written,

“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,
    and every tongue shall confess to God.”

So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. (Romans 14:10-12)

Have you ever attempted to write something, but struggled with "writer's block?" I'm starting to realize there's a good way to overcome writer's block, and for me, the best way to overcome it is a deadline. When I'm accountable to someone, and I'm given a deadline to turn something in, my brain starts to get in gear the closer I get to that date.

It's healthy to live with a sense of accountability. Those who attempt to live their lives without it are setting themselves up for terrible failure and unnecessary regret. Families can help keep each other accountable. Spouses can do so as well. Employers, church leaders, and our brothers and sisters in Christ can all aid in the process, but there is no greater form of accountability than the realization that we're all going to stand before the Lord someday.

Scripture teaches us that the day is coming when we will appear before the judgment seat of God. Every knee will bow and confess that Jesus is Lord, and all of us will give an account of our lives to Him. There's nothing that we'll be able to hold back. It will all be laid bare.

I think that's helpful to understand if we're presently struggling with the "fear of man." If that fear is holding you back from doing what God is calling you to do, it's time to give that fear over to Him and recognize that the Lord is the one we ultimately answer to.

III. Desire integrity more than you desire praise

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." (Galatians 1:10)

We can learn a lot from the people who have come before us. The Lord has graciously raised up a whole host of people who have demonstrated what it looks like to live out our faith in this world. He also uses them to demonstrate what it looks like confront others with the truth.

In the early verses of Galatians, Paul confronted the church for drifting from the truth and centrality of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Instead of emphasizing the grace of God that is shown to us in Jesus Christ, some of the leaders in that church were starting to teach people that salvation could be obtained by strict observance to the regulations of the Old Testament law. Even though the gospel teaches us that salvation is by grace, through faith in Jesus, they were attempting to please those who believed differently by watering down that central truth.

This news reached Paul's ears, so he didn't mince words when he confronted it. He also made a point to express the fact that he valued his service to Christ more than he valued pleasing people. He knew his words were going to irritate the Galatians, but he said them anyway because they were true. Paul desired integrity more than he valued praise. That's a principle we need to understand as well if we're going to resist being governed by the fear of man.

IV. Remind yourself that earthly trouble cannot compete with eternal blessings

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen." (2 Cor. 4:16-18a)

Have you ever received an injury that felt like it took an excessively long time to heal, or contracted an illness that seemed to stretch on forever? Isn't that one of the worst feelings? Some of us have experienced conflict or distance from loved ones that seemed to stretch on for a very long time. When we experience physical, emotional, or relational pain that holds on for a while, it can feel rather easy to lose heart. But the Lord reminds us that we don't need to. There's a better option.

As men and women who have experienced the gift of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be confident that all of our earthly struggles will result in a positive outcome eventually. One of the things they're doing is giving us the opportunity to contrast our earthly lives with the glorious future the Lord holds in store for us. If we will allow our hearts to contemplate the blessings of an eternity with Jesus, our present troubles will begin to feel light and momentary to us. We don't need to keep our eyes focused on the things that are seen. We can keep our hearts aimed toward the abundant, eternal life Christ has secured for us.

I think that perspective is helpful to keep in mind when we're wrestling with the fear of man. At times, there may be difficult consequences that we'll experience when we refuse to submit ourselves to the snares of earthly and ungodly mandates, but God's word reminds us that our earthly troubles cannot compete with eternal blessings.

All that to say, how prepared are you to make a stand in the midst of a fallen world for your faith in Jesus Christ? Does the fear of man keep you from expressing your faith openly? Has the Lord called you to take your life in a healthy and new direction, but the only thing holding you back is the fear of what others might think?

Most people spend the majority of their years living under the fear of man and failing to take action on God's calling for their lives. Don't make that mistake. Submit your heart to Jesus and don't be paralyzed by the values and opinions of this world.

© John Stange, 2021

The benefits of being broken

There's a season of life when we we're more prone to resist counsel than we are to receive it. For many of us, that season tends to be earlier in life, but for some of us, that season has fallen somewhere in-between or even later on.

A life that hardens itself to godly counsel is a life that tends to become needlessly difficult. When pride gets in the way of us heeding an outside perspective, we're setting ourselves up for a considerable amount of pain and brokenness.

But admittedly, there are benefits we can experience from being broken. As our pride is stripped away and our arrogance is shown to be useless, we can develop teachable hearts. And the beauty of the gospel is that Jesus delights to heal broken people. Frequently, He does us the favor of allowing us to experience a season of brokenness to remind us that running from Him produces unwanted pain.

As we prepare to look at portions of Proverbs 29, we're going to be shown some key things that demonstrate how we end up broken, but we're also going to be shown how we can emerge from our brokenness with greater wisdom and poise that demonstrates the presence of Christ in our lives.

I. Here's how you get broken

He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck,
    will suddenly be broken beyond healing.
3 He who loves wisdom makes his father glad,
    but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. (Proverbs 29:1-3)

Ignoring verbal help produces physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual pain. We've all done it, and hopefully, we've also bounced back from it, but Solomon shows us that it can persist so long and go so far that it sometimes leaves permanent scars.

The picture that's being painted for us here is a picture of someone who is regularly offered good counsel, but because it doesn't fit with what they want to hear, they reject it. They stiffen their neck against it instead of bowing their head to accept it. Their persistence in this direction will eventually lead to brokenness, and as much as you might want to save them from the consequences of their decisions, you can't always do it.

Frequently, if a person takes a stiff-necked posture toward the help they're being offered, they will also waste the blessings they've been given. Solomon tells us that a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. They waste the blessings they've been given, and they cost those who are attempting to bless them.

This comment reminds me of the parable Jesus told in Luke 15, a parable we often refer to as the Parable of the Prodigal Son.

And he said, “There was a man who had two sons.   And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them.   Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. (Luke 15:11-13)

If we don't see the value in the counsel we're being offered, we'll ignore it. If we don't appreciate the price that was paid to bless us, we'll waste the blessings we've been given. That's exactly what the son in Luke 15 did, and I suspect we can all think of times in our life when we've done the exact same thing, or something really close to it.

How often have you stiffened your neck to godly reproof?

How often have you squandered your blessings?

How long did it take for you to come to a place of repentance?

Giving yourself over to the temptations of this world will cost you and those who have invested themselves in you. Giving your mind over to the counsel of this world, and giving your heart over to the values of this world will eventually leave you broken. But will you listen if someone tries to keep you from journeying down that path? Some do. Many don't.

II. An un-snared heart learns to sing

A man who flatters his neighbor
    spreads a net for his feet.
An evil man is ensnared in his transgression,
    but a righteous man sings and rejoices. (Proverbs 29:5-6)

For the past few Springs, I have had a small problem in front of my house. Right by my front door, there's a post that holds up the roof to the front porch, and apparently, that post looks delicious to carpenter bees. Last year, I paid an exterminator to come and take care of the problem, but unfortunately, nothing was solved. So I bought a simple trap with small holes in it that supposedly works to get the attention of carpenter bees and capture them. Guess what? It worked perfectly. As far as I can tell, it trapped every bee and stopped them from damaging my porch.

Trapping household pets has a practical purpose, but being trapped or ensnared isn't an enjoyable experience for us as people. What does it take for something to ensnare us?

Usually a trap or a snare will play off one of our dominant areas of temptation. It will appeal to the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes, or the boastful pride of life as the Apostle John mentions in the book of 1 John.

"For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world." (1 John 2:16)

I don't want to be trapped or ensnared by worldly things, and I suspect you don't either. Solomon describes men who are trapped by their flattery or trapped by their transgressions in Proverbs 29:5-6, but as followers of Christ, that doesn't need to be us. Becoming ensnared by the things of this world robs us of the opportunity to fully enjoy the blessing of an unencumbered relationship with Christ. It's robs us of the daily experience of walking in the freedom and liberty Jesus has granted us. It also robs us of our motivation to sing with an unburdened heart.

Solomon tells us that a righteous man sings and rejoices. I like picturing that in my mind. It gives me a mental image of someone whose heart is light and cheery. Someone who is fully delighting in the presence of Christ in their life. Someone who isn't weighed down with the constant troubles and panic of this world.

When I was a child, I could always tell if something was bothering my mother based on her singing. She seemed to know the words to every song on the radio and would usually sing without hesitation when we were driving in the car, but then she went through a difficult stretch when her heart was burdened with many things, and the singing stopped. That stood out to me, and I always noticed when she sang and when she didn't.

In my father's grocery store, there was an older man named Dominic who sliced meat in the deli department. As a kid, I enjoyed interacting with him, but my favorite aspect of working with him was the fact that he turned everyone's deli order into a song. We would frequently wait with excitement to see what kind of creative musical interpretation or song parody he would come up with after people placed their orders for meat or cheese.

Which do you want, a heart that's ensnared with the things of this world or an unburdened heart that expresses the joy of Christ through song?

III. Those who appreciate healing seek to promote it

Scoffers set a city aflame,
    but the wise turn away wrath.
If a wise man has an argument with a fool,
    the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.

A fool gives full vent to his spirit,
    but a wise man quietly holds it back. (Proverbs 29:8-9, 11)

I think we can become very useful to the Lord and His mission to rescue lost humanity after we've gone through a season of brokenness. If you've bounced back from brokenness, you've seen both sides of life. You know what it's like to be low, and you know what it's like to be lifted up. You know what led you to the depths of despair, and you know what pulled you out.

The only hope we have in this world is Jesus. He takes the broken and mends us. His Spirit transforms our thinking and grants us the clarity to operate with a new, healthy perspective toward life in this world. As our faith develops and matures, we begin to see that the approach to life that we used to take doesn't work any longer. That old approach was steeped in worldly thinking. Our new approach is seasoned with the flavor of eternal life.

Worldly perspectives divide and tear down. Solomon explains that cities burn because of ungodly perspectives. He also shows us that arguments persist and anger gets vented in heated and unhealthy ways when the values of this world dominate and control our minds. But those who have been down that road and then were healed by Jesus, seek to promote the kind of healing He offers. Frequently, that healing is fostered through words.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to?" I think that's a pretty good summary of what Solomon was attempting to teach in these proverbs. You don't have to argue with a fool. You don't have to take the bait of the scoffer. You don't have to vent every time you're provoked. Rather, you can practice quiet restraint as you yield your spirit to the control of the Holy Spirit. He will guide and direct your response.

This helped me recently. Not long ago, a friend gave my son several large pieces of woodworking equipment. In order to pick them up, we needed to rent a moving truck. I reserved the truck online and declined paying for additional insurance because I didn't need it. When we arrived to pick the truck up, the man running the counter insisted that we pay the fee for additional insurance and he attempted to argue with me about it. I told him we didn't need it, but he wouldn't let us take the truck without it. So, instead of losing my cool, I reasoned with myself that this man was aggressively irrational and I'd be able to clear this up later by calling customer service. I didn't argue with him, I just made a call. The charge was refunded and their main office apologized to me.

In this world, there will be many opportunities for you to be provoked. If you accept the provocation, you'll regret it. If you reject the counsel of those who love you, you'll regret it. But if you've experienced what it's like to be broken by this world, then mended by Jesus, you'll welcome the power of the Holy Spirit to guide your temperament and give you a powerful testimony of Christ-centered faith and wisdom that you can use to be a blessing to a very confused planet.

© John Stange, 2021

What do you do with the power you're given?

I have often heard it said that if you want to know what someone is like, give them power. Most people can't handle it. Some people do terrible things with it. The best leaders demonstrate the servant heart of Jesus, and the worst make decisions for selfish or vindictive reasons with little concern for how the lives of others will be impacted.

At some point in your life, it's very likely you're going to be entrusted with power. It may be on a small scale or on a large scale. When that day comes, what are you going to do with it?

And please keep in mind that for the believer in Christ, you've already been granted spiritual power that you're called to steward for the glory of Christ. Are you utilizing the spiritual power you've been granted to do that, or are you falling into the trap referenced in 2 Timothy 3:5 where it speaks of some people as "having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power."

In Proverbs 28, we're shown several broad categories where power can be utilized and applied. Some make great use of these opportunities and others don't. What will you do with the power you've been given?

I. The power to lead is misused by most

2 When a land transgresses, it has many rulers,
    but with a man of understanding and knowledge,
    its stability will long continue.

12 When the righteous triumph, there is great glory,
    but when the wicked rise, people hide themselves.

16 A ruler who lacks understanding is a cruel oppressor,
    but he who hates unjust gain will prolong his days.

28 When the wicked rise, people hide themselves,
    but when they perish, the righteous increase. (Proverbs 28:2, 12, 16, 28)

A few months ago, I was talking with a friend who had just started a new job. It hasn't been his favorite job, but he likes it enough. But after a short while serving in his new role, he requested to be transferred to a different location within the company. When asked why, he admitted that it was a torture to him to have to work under his present supervisor. His supervisor was arrogant, demeaning, and discouraging. My friend said that the thought of having to deal with such demoralizing leadership for months or even years was enough to make him sick to his stomach. Thankfully, his company granted his transfer.

Good leadership can be challenging to find. Solomon knew that when he voiced the words of these proverbs, and he illustrated in great detail the ways in which ungodly leadership has a negative impact on everyone that has to live under it. When the power to lead is misused, it can destroy a culture, cause people to withdraw, foster various forms of oppression, and discourage participation.

That's why I think it's critical for believers to look to the example of Christ if they're ever placed in a role of leadership. A real leaders isn't a boss. Christ-centered leaders view their role through the lens of servanthood. Leaders who model Christ's heart see leading as a willingness to serve or suffer in order to make the lives of others better.

"But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant," (Matthew 20:25-26)

II. The power to obey is utilized by the faithful

The wicked flee when no one pursues,
    but the righteous are bold as a lion.

4 Those who forsake the law praise the wicked,
    but those who keep the law strive against them.

18 Whoever walks in integrity will be delivered,
    but he who is crooked in his ways will suddenly fall.

20 A faithful man will abound with blessings,
    but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished. (Proverbs 28:1, 4, 18, 20)

Do you have a hidden life, or is your life an open book? Is there any part of your life that you wouldn't feel comfortable letting others know about? Are you transparent with your spouse, children, and friends? Is there any aspect of your life that you're trying to hide from the Lord?

Integrity and faithfulness are traits modeled by the Lord that he desires to see displayed in His people. He indwells us with His Spirit toward this end. But those who reject the Lord's presence take their lives in a much different direction. Solomon describes that direction for us.

When a person forsakes obedience to the Lord and tries to hide from Him, they'll flee when they aren't being pursued, they'll forsake the law, they'll fall in ways they don't see coming, and they'll experience the consequences of their rebellion. That's such a terrible outcome that it's hard to understand why anyone desires it, but the truth is, most people think those consequences only apply to other people. The deceptiveness of wickedness makes us believe that somehow we'll be the one exception.

Through faith in Christ, by the power of the Spirit, our desires and aspirations drastically change. It may be the case that in the past we delighted in rebelling and hiding from the Lord, but the Spirit opens our eyes to see a better way. He gives us the power to obey, and in that obedience, we experience blessing and an undisturbed conscience.

III. The power to help is a tool in the Lord's hands

22 A stingy man hastens after wealth
    and does not know that poverty will come upon him.
23 Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor
    than he who flatters with his tongue.
24 Whoever robs his father or his mother
    and says, “That is no transgression,”
    is a companion to a man who destroys.
25 A greedy man stirs up strife,
    but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched. (Proverbs 28:22-25)

I have heard this a few times before, and I read it again earlier this week, but some years ago, two engineers calibrated in a wind tunnel why geese fly in formation. Each goose, flapping its wings, creates an uplift for the goose that follows. The whole flock gains 71% greater flying range than if they journeyed alone. That’s why the leader of the V formation falls back periodically to let another leader take the point, and why the rest stay in line. -Source: Bible.org

Everyone goes further and does better when they have the help of someone else. Geese fly more efficiently and people live more fruitfully when they lift each other up. We will never grow to the level the Lord has called us to grow to without the help of the people He has strategically surrounded us with. He gives us the power to help one another, and uses the help we offer as a tool in His hands to build His church.

In general, Solomon gives us a few examples of what it looks like to commit to help one another, but he also shows us what it's like when someone withholds the blessings that were within their power to give. Those who are stingy or rob others will eventually experience material, relational, and spiritual poverty. But those who demonstrate their trust in the Lord by sharing the blessings He bestows, are themselves frequently enriched with even more to share materially, relationally, and spiritually.

Do you see yourself as a tool in the Lord's hands to lift up someone else?

IV. The power to trust leads to everlasting hope

25 A greedy man stirs up strife,
    but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched.
26 Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool,
    but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered. (Proverbs 28:25-26)

There's a big lesson the Lord wants us to get out of life. He wants us to learn to trust Him. I believe the other lessons He's teaching us are important too, but they all seem to fall under that umbrella.

The temptation of this age is to trust in ourselves. We live an era of rampant humanism. We idolize what we think we know, and struggle to acknowledge the limits of human reason. I find it comical that we don't even know what's on the bottom of the ocean floor, yet we claim to understand the formation of the universe from a completely humanistic perspective, as if it came into being apart from the creative intervention of God.

Genuine trust in Christ leads to everlasting hope. Solomon tells us that,"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool," and, "the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched." We can either idolize ourselves and come to ruin, or we can trust Jesus who is the source of divine wisdom and power. The greater wisdom is found through trusting Christ. The greater power is found through trusting Christ, and His calling on our lives is that we would put that power to work.

In a seminary missions class, Herbert Jackson told how, as a new missionary, he was assigned a car that would not start without a push.

After pondering his problem, he devised a plan. He went to the school near his home, got permission to take some children out of class, and had them push his car off. As he made his rounds, he would either park on a hill or leave the engine running. He used this ingenious procedure for two years.

Ill health forced the Jackson family to leave, and a new missionary came to that station. When Jackson proudly began to explain his arrangement for getting the car started, the new man began looking under the hood. Before the explanation was complete, the new missionary interrupted, “Why, Dr. Jackson, I believe the only trouble is this loose cable.” He gave the cable a twist, stepped into the car, pushed the switch, and to Jackson’s astonishment, the engine roared to life.

For two years needless trouble had become routine. The power was there all the time. Only a loose connection kept Jackson from putting that power to work.

J. B. Phillips paraphrases Ephesians l:19-20, “How tremendous is the power available to us who believe in God.” When we make firm our connection with God, his life and power flow through us. -Ernest B. Beevers, found on Bible.org

What do you do with the power you're given? Use it to lead, obey, help, and trust. Glorify Christ with your stewardship of the power He entrusts to you.

© John Stange, 2021

Four ways to stay sharp while sharpening others

One of the things that has become very clear to me over the course of my life is that the quality of my life is directly impacted by those I choose to surround myself with. There are people in my life that have sharpened me in very helpful ways, but there are others who seem to have a dulling effect on my life. The more I surround myself with them, the duller I feel. There are people in my life that have also had a distinctly depressive effect on me at times when I let them.

At this season of my life, one of my goals is to continue to surround myself with people who sharpen me spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. I want to make intentional investments in each of these areas, but I want the investment to be mutual. As others sharpen me, I want to reciprocate that blessing by helping to sharpen them.

Proverbs 27 is a helpful chapter of Scripture for many reasons including the fact that it demonstrates at least four ways we can stay sharp while simultaneously sharpening others.

I. Boast about God's sovereignty and providence

Do not boast about tomorrow,
    for you do not know what a day may bring.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
    a stranger, and not your own lips. (Proverbs 27:1-2)

The older I get, the less likely I am to take the liberty to make definitive predictions about the future. I certainly would never have predicted what has taken place in the past year. It didn't look anything like I expected it to. And looking forward, I have no idea what the next year is going to look like either. Even the things I consider mundane or inconsequential may look much different, or maybe they won't happen at all, so why boast about what I can't predict?

Solomon teaches us not to be the kind of people who are boastful. We shouldn't boast about tomorrow because we don't know what tomorrow may bring. We shouldn't boast about ourselves either because that demonstrates unhealthy pride and conceit that doesn't reflect the heart of Christ.

But if we're going to boast about something, let's boast about something that matters. I'm choosing not to boast about tomorrow because I have no control over tomorrow. But since I know the One who is sovereign over all tomorrows, I'm going to boast about Him. I'm going to tell others that our Lord has His hand on human history and He's providentially working all things together for the good of those who know and love Him. He's steering human history toward the day when we will all bow our knees and confess with our mouths that Jesus Christ is Lord.

II. Welcome the feedback of those who love you on your worst days

Better is open rebuke
    than hidden love.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
    profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:5-6)

Growing up, one of my favorite hobbies was to write. Sometimes I'd write articles or book-worthy content, but most of the time I would write song lyrics. And even though I enjoyed sharing that content with others, I grew a little hesitant to do so because I wasn't always comfortable with the feedback I received.

Feedback or critique is something we all need, but I don't think it's automatically easy to hear. It can be especially difficult to listen to when you're regularly on the receiving end of unhelpful criticism. That's why it's valuable to evaluate the feedback you're receiving while paying close attention to the sources. It's a far different subject to receive critique from those who love you on your worst days than it is to receive unfair criticism from those who despise you on your best days.

Solomon teaches us that the verbal wounds of a friend can be trusted, even though they may initially sting. Their words are meant to sharpen us and build us up in our walk with Christ. The input we receive from other believers is a gift that the Holy Spirit uses to help us grow in sanctification. Stay open to how He's using the words of those who love you to help you grow.

Not long ago, a good friend made a terrible decision that became known to a few of us who are close to him. When he was approached about it, he didn't receive the news well. In fact, his response was to say, "You're not allowed to talk to me about things like that." Ironically, it was the thing he most needed someone to talk to him about, but he resisted outside counsel.

How often does our relationship with the Lord take on the same exact flavor as that conversation? How many times in your life has the Lord attempted to speak to you about something and you told Him, "You're not allowed to talk to me about things like that."

III. Model the loyalty of Jesus

Do not forsake your friend and your father's friend,
    and do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity.
Better is a neighbor who is near
    than a brother who is far away. (Proverbs 27:10)

It's no accident that you know the people you know. The relationships the Lord has blessed you with are intentional. And when your seasons of trial and testing come, you'll feel far less anxious if you reach out to those you trust and allow them to help you shoulder the burden. That's something the Lord has been making clear to me during this season of life.

It also becomes clear, over time, that there are certain people who will only be part of your life for a short season. I've heard it said that we have life-long friends, but we also have 5-minute friends. Based on what Solomon teaches in this passage, I think it would be wise for us to try not to be in the 5-minute friend category.

Solomon teaches us not to forsake our friends or the friends of our family. In this passage, he expresses the value of loyalty and faithfulness. These are traits that are best modeled by our Lord, and should also be visibly practiced in our lives as we follow Him.

I'm grateful for the loyalty of Jesus Christ in my life. I'm grateful that He's not only my Lord, but also my friend. And even though the majority of relationships I have experienced in this world have been somewhat conditional in nature, His friendship isn't like that at all. He sees me at my best and at my worst, and isn't ashamed to call me His brother and His friend.

"For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers," (Hebrews 2:11)

Who are you blessing with the gift of Christ-centered loyalty? Who is convinced that you'll still call them your brother or your sister, even on their worst days?

As Jesus gave me the gift of His loyalty, I had the privilege to share that gift with a friend earlier this week. In a few months, I have a book coming out and the publisher asked me to reach out to other authors to endorse it. One of the endorsers, who is also a friend, came back to me after submitting her endorsement and admitted that she was worried her endorsement might reflect poorly on me because she's only been a Christian for a few years. She felt genuinely concerned that the life she led before coming to know Christ might hurt my reputation in some way, and through the grace of Jesus I was able to say, "I literally don't care about any of that. Jesus isn't ashamed to be my friend or your friend. And I will never be ashamed to be your friend either."

IV. Make generous investments in the lives of others

Iron sharpens iron,
    and one man sharpens another.
Whoever tends a fig tree will eat its fruit,
    and he who guards his master will be honored. (Proverbs 27:17-18)

Just yesterday, my wife sewed a pair of pants for me. In her hand was one of the standard pin cushions that looks like a tomato with a strawberry hanging off of it. I asked her what the point of the strawberry-shaped cushion was and she said, "That cushion sharpens and cleans your pins. If they're dull or dirty, you poke them into the strawberry a few times to make them useful again."

All kinds of tools need to be sharpened after regular use. Sometimes you use a stone to accomplish that task. In the case of iron, it can be sharpened by using another piece of iron. People operate the same way. We have the opportunity to sharpen one another. We have the privilege of making generous investments in one another's lives.

You are the person you are, and I am the person I am largely due to the generosity of someone else. It starts with the fact that Jesus generously gave Himself for me. It continues with the fact that the Holy Spirit lives within me and He is transforming the way I think and live. It continues even further with the fact that other followers of Christ who have the Holy Spirit living within them have taken an interest in my life and continue helping to refine me.

Wrapping up...

Abraham Lincoln once said, "Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe."

The time we invest becoming spiritually, emotionally, and relationally sharp has great value, not only for ourselves, but for the people the Lord gives us the privilege to help sharpen as well.

© John Stange, 2021

The advantage of finding your sufficiency in Jesus

A few days ago, I participated in an online meeting with various other ministry and business leaders. We meet regularly to keep each other accountable, exchange ideas, and motivate each other if we start getting into a slump.

Part way through the meeting, Bee Evans, a leader from Colorado expressed frustration with what she was working on. She was attempting to record an episode of her podcast, but she kept tripping over her words and making mistakes that forced her to re-record several times in a row. Her show is primarily about not labeling yourself in unhealthy ways, but as she made recording mistakes that day, she admitted that she kept saying to herself, "You stink!" She confessed the irony to our group and called that out into the light so she could move past it and actually get her work done.

How often have we all done the same thing? Do you label yourself in unhealthy ways? Are you trying to find your sense of sufficiency in how well you perform, how much you own, or how other people start to see you? Is there any real long-term advantage to doing that?

One of the great blessings we experience as followers of Christ is the advantage of finding our sense of sufficiency through Jesus. In Him, and through Him, we are made a new creation and we no longer need to try to find our sense of sufficiency through anything or anyone less than Jesus.

Proverbs 23 gives us a few examples of the consequences that can come when we mistakenly try to find our sufficiency through anything less than Jesus. It can actually cause us to be taken advantage of, or take advantage of others in unhealthy ways.

I. Don't let yourself be taken advantage of easily

When you sit down to eat with a ruler,
    observe carefully what is before you,
2 and put a knife to your throat
    if you are given to appetite.
3 Do not desire his delicacies,
    for they are deceptive food. (Proverbs 23:1-3)

During the era of time when Solomon sat on the throne in Israel, he was one of the most prominent leaders in the world. He was known for his wisdom and his wealth. He was also prone to make diplomatic agreements with other heads of state. Solomon was well aware of how they tended to operate.

In that era, it wasn't uncommon for a person of great wealth and prominence to use their riches to attempt to influence others to do their bidding. For a season, they might flatter the person they were trying to take advantage of. They might shower them with kind words and gifts, or invite them to an opulent meal. But Solomon expressed caution about these things.

Because he was a man of great wealth, things like this didn't impress Solomon in the same way someone of lesser means might be impressed. He could see beyond the opulence and perceive motives that might have been hidden from a more common observer.

Look at the strong language Solomon uses in this passage. He encourages the reader to "observe carefully" what is put before them, and "put a knife to your throat" if you're tempted to eat the opulent delicacies and then be taken advantage of.

Have you ever been taken advantage of by someone you trusted? I remember years ago when I was a teenager, my father was invited to bring our family to a nice buffet meal and "listen to a presentation." He was also told that we would be given free tickets to Disney World at the end. He agreed, and we went and enjoyed the food, but the event dragged on forever before they finally gave him the tickets they promised. The whole thing was a well-disguised, high-pressure sales pitch to attempt to convince him to buy a timeshare in Central Florida.

Deception comes at us from many angles. At times, we may experience it from other people, but it's also wise to be well aware of the fact that the devil himself loves to put an impressive spread of false promises before us in his attempts to lure us toward attempting to satisfy our souls with the things of this world, instead of finding our sense of sufficiency through Christ.

"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ." (Col. 2:8)

"The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved." (2 Thes. 2:9-10)

Because your sufficiency is in Christ, don't let yourself be taken advantage of easily.

II. It is of no advantage to you to work yourself to death

4 Do not toil to acquire wealth;
    be discerning enough to desist.
5 When your eyes light on it, it is gone,
    for suddenly it sprouts wings,
    flying like an eagle toward heaven. (Proverbs 23:4-5)

I was recently talking to a man from Australia and he joked about a few of the differences between Americans and Australians. I enjoyed hearing his perspective. One of the things he said was, "Americans are all work. You don't know how to take a break." Is he correct?

Solomon gives us some interesting counsel in this passage. As someone who had been blessed with great wealth, he could testify that wealth wasn't as amazing as people sometimes made it out to be. It's not worth devoting your life to it, and it isn't wise to work yourself to death because the wealth you're trying to accumulate can fly away just as quickly, or even quicker than it was acquired.

A healthy life is invested in more than riches, but that isn't always the lesson we reinforce to each other. I still remember the years when I was the director of a summer camp. One of the hardest tasks I had was finding qualified staff. Many of our staff members were in high school or college and some of their parents would try to convince them not to work at camp because they could "earn more money" working somewhere else. Instead of allowing their children to experience the blessing of an entire summer immersed in a culture that would feed their faith, they taught their children to value money over growth, over experiences, and over relationships.

Solomon advises us that when we do our toil, it should be about more than just acquiring wealth. I interviewed Dan Miller, the author of "48 Days to the Work and Life you Love" the other day and he also shared that we should be wise enough to select work that aligns with God's calling on our lives. He stressed that there can be great joy in that. I think Solomon would have agreed.

I also appreciate Solomon's counsel to, "be discerning enough to desist." There's a time when it's best to say "enough." Yes, we need to earn a living. Yes, we need to feed, clothe, and shelter our families. But eventually, we need to come to the place where we accept that what we have is enough. It's impossible to satisfy the longing of our hearts through the accumulation of things that we cannot hold onto forever.

In Luke 12, Jesus also showed us that it's of no advantage to us to work ourselves to death in the vain attempt to accumulate the fleeting riches of this world. He showed us that doing so has the capacity to sap the joy out of life because we'll end up missing the point of who God has created us to be, and how He seeks to relate to us as our Father.

"Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!" (Luke 12:27-28)

It's of no advantage for you to work yourself to death, but it's of great advantage to you to trust Jesus who did the work on your behalf that was necessary to reconcile you to the Father.

III. Don't take advantage of those who are at your mercy

10 Do not move an ancient landmark
    or enter the fields of the fatherless,
11 for their Redeemer is strong;
    he will plead their cause against you. (Proverbs 23:10-11)

There isn't a single day of my life that I should forget the fact that I am an object of the mercy of God that has been shown to me in Jesus Christ. I deserved condemnation. I deserved to be eternally separated from the love of God, but Jesus endured my punishment. Jesus endured the righteous wrath of the Father so I could become a child of God. Now, as a recipient of God's mercy, it is his calling on my life to demonstrate mercy.

But not everyone embraces that mindset. In fact, it has often been said that you can tell a lot about a person's character by giving them power. You'll see what they're really made of by how they use the power they're given. Some will show mercy, but unfortunately, some will take advantage of those who are at their mercy.

I think Solomon is giving an example of that in this passage. He speaks of people who move ancient landmarks, most likely to illustrate how the powerful attempt to steal the land of those who can't stand up to them. He mentions those who would rob orphans because they seem defenseless.

Thankfully, no believer is ever truly defenseless. Men in powerful positions might try to take advantage of those who seem powerless, but Solomon warns those who might attempt such activity that our Redeemer is strong. The Lord Himself will fight for His children.

I don't know if you already saw this video, but several months ago, a man was walking with his little puppy near a pond when an alligator jumped out of the water, grabbed the dog in its mouth, and dragged it underwater. Immediately, the man instinctively jumped into the pond, dragged the alligator out, pulled its jaws apart just wide enough for the puppy to escape, and rescued the life of his new pet.

If a man is willing to wrestle an alligator to save a puppy, how much more is our Redeemer willing to rescue and defend His very own children. His saves us, defends us, identifies us as His own, and gives us daily reminders of the fact that we are forevermore sufficient in Christ. This world might try to take advantage of us, but our Savior remains by our side.

© John Stange, 2021

Five helpful truths parents need to keep telling themselves

I have developed some unique habits over the course of my life that seem to serve me well, but if I admitted all of them to you, you'd probably laugh. One of the habits that I developed as a teenager was to write out a list of advice to myself on how to raise teenagers because I was convinced that I would forget what it was like to be a teenager once I had kids of my own. Believe it or not, some of that advice has been rather practical.

If the Lord is calling you to raise children in the future or in the present, or if you've already raised your children and you're into the season of leaving a legacy for your grandchildren, please allow me to point out five principles I believe are taught in Scripture, about the process of training and influencing the life of a child.

I. Parenting children is rewarding, but it isn't easy

I enjoy being a father. The blessing of having children and raising them together with my wife has been an experience that I have truly considered a gift from God. When I think back over the past twenty years, my mind is filled with snapshots of conversations, day-trips, silly moments, vacations, and milestones. Most of the experiences we've been blessed to have together have been positive and rewarding, but other experiences have been infuriating, scary, or even heart-breaking. I'm sure my parents would say the same thing, as would their parents.

Parenting children is rewarding, but it isn't easy. When you have a child, you've basically committed yourself to thinking about their well-being continually, for the rest of your life. You'll do your best to protect them, provide for them, offer them counsel, and point them to Jesus, but the experience will stretch you in ways you didn't expect. The stretching probably won't feel good, but it is a good thing. I believe it's something the Lord uses in two ways.

First, I believe it's part of His sanctifying process. He uses it to produce holiness in our lives by teaching us more about the importance of self-sacrifice, admitting we aren't perfect, and relying on His help.

"Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God." (2 Corinthians 7:1)

Second, I believe He helps us gain a greater glimpse of His heart through the process of raising a child. In my case, I can testify that He has been using my experience of raising children to help me learn more about the nature of unconditional love, the kind of love first demonstrated to us through Him.

II. You're responsible for what you model and teach, not what your child ultimately does with it

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

Those of you who have multiple children can testify that each child is unique. They may have the same two parents, grow up with the same instruction, live in the same house, but be completely different in nearly every way. Some may latch on to your wisdom and instruction early, while others rebel. Some may show an interest in spiritual things while they still live with you, while others might take longer for their eyes to be opened.

The promise we're given here in this portion of Scripture is that there will be fruit that comes from the investments we make in our children. If we model what it means to follow Jesus, and teach them how to navigate life experiences with Christ as their central focus, there will come a day, possibly much later in life, when that instruction will bear fruit.

I think that's helpful knowledge to embrace because many if not most parents share a similar quirk. Instead of accepting the fact that there will be times when our children make errors in judgment, we blame ourselves for every mistake or unwise decision they make. And that self-blame tends to get really strong when those children become adults who may make choices we're uncomfortable with. So please keep in mind, you're responsible for what you model and teach, not what your child ultimately does with it.

Some years ago, a friend of mine whose children are all adults asked me if we could chat. Two of her children were on a good path, and two weren't. Not long after that, I was talking with another friend who said something similar about his children. Fast forward just a little while after that and another friend with adult children told me the same thing about his kids.

I'm learning that seems to be a common reality for most parents. Different children make different decisions at different times. Some decisions will be wise, helpful, and godly. Other decisions will be harmful, destructive, and heart-breaking. And God Himself is sympathetic to it all because He experiences the same exact thing from us. When we look back in history to the first man and woman, we can see that just because you're raised by the perfect parent in the perfect environment doesn't mean you aren't going to rebel or make poor choices.

We are responsible for what we model and teach, not what our children ultimately do with what we've offered them.

III. If you don't influence your child for good, the culture will be happy to influence them for evil

We live in an era of many influences, some good and some bad. Our senses are continually being bombarded with information. It may even begin to feel like everyone is trying to either influence us, entertain us, sell to us, or control us. I guess it probably feels that way because it's true.

What influences are you allowing into your home, or endorsing through your consumption habits? I don't ask that to make you feel guilty, but I do ask that to invite us all, myself included, to become more intentional about this because if we don't influence our children for good, the culture will be more than happy to influence them for evil.

We may not think about this often enough, but there is actually a spiritual battle taking place every day for control of our minds.

"For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ," (2 Cor. 10:3-5)

A key aspect of household leadership is the influence we have on those the Lord entrusts to our care. One of the greatest facets of the legacy you will leave to the generations that come after you is your influence. In fact, every day I'm being influenced by the lives of people who are no longer living. Typically it's because they set an example for me that's reiterated in what I have read, or the stories that are still being told.

If you're raising children, or already raised them, you continue to be a powerful force to influence them. As you remain careful to yield your mind to Christ, and surround yourself with influences that point you toward Him, the fruit of that example will reach into the lives of those who watch and learn from you. The culture may try to point your children and grandchildren away from Christ, but your life can be used by Him to point them toward Him.

IV. You're going to need to trust the Lord's promise on days when it seems unlikely to come to pass

I received a call on Thursday night from a friend who wanted to talk about raising children. She and her husband have an infant son, so she wanted to talk to someone who has already been through the process of raising sons to see what I would say. One of the comments she made to me was, "Parenting a baby is the most enjoyable thing I have ever done, but it's also the hardest." Being a wise-guy I said to her, "I have good news, it only gets harder."

Proverbs 22:6 assures us that if we train our children in the way they should go, they won't depart from it when they're old, but there are going to be many days when we're going to have to accept that teaching by faith because our eyes may be seeing something drastically different.

I was recently reading a story about one of Billy Graham's daughters that I found instructive. Many of us, myself included, have a great degree of respect for Billy and Ruth Graham, and the ways the Lord used them to bring millions of people unto Himself, but keep in mind they were also battle-weary parents who experienced some of life's hardest moments.

One of their daughters in particular went through a very difficult stretch of life early in her adulthood. She did what so many of us have done and rejected the good counsel she was given in some key areas of life by choosing to elevate her own ideas over the wisdom that was offered to her. Eventually, it all came crashing down and she found herself in genuine need of her parents' help in order to pick up the pieces.

Amazingly, they didn't crush her spirit when she came back to them. They didn't even express disappointment in her. Rather, they lovingly embraced her, welcomed her home, and helped her rebuild her life. Billy and Ruth trusted the Lord to bring their daughter back around even when it seemed unlikely, and that's exactly what they were able to witness Him do.

(Be sure to check out "Doing Life With Your Adult Children" by Jim Burns. That's where I read this story.)

V. You may not live to see the ultimate fruit of your investment, but it's OK to rejoice in it ahead of time

Take a quick look at these verses. What repeated assurances do you see?

• "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children," (Prov. 13:22a)

• "But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children," (Psalm 103:17)

• “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children—" (Deut. 4:9)

We tend to think in moments of time, but the Lord shows us that He's thinking generationally. He speaks into a moment, but can see beyond that moment into the future. As our faith develops, I think He's also helping us to do the same thing. He's teaching us to see things that haven't even happened yet and to treat them like they already have.

By faith, I believe Jesus is returning like I've already seen it. By faith, I believe that I will enjoy the blessings of being part of God's eternal kingdom like I'm already seated at the heavenly banquet table I'm going to eat at. I think God also wants me to trust Him for the promises His word shares about my children, their children, and their children, whether I live long enough to see it with my own eyes or not. So I'm going to remain optimistic and rejoice about these things ahead of time because I believe the promise of God is true.

--

If you're preparing to become a parent, have adult children, or you're somewhere in between those two ends of the spectrum, I hope you'll take great encouragement from God's promises to you. Through faith in Jesus, you become a child of God. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, you're enabled to raise children. Rely on God's guidance to see you through the process, trust Him to do what only He can do, and start looking forward to the blessings you can't yet see like you've already seen them.

© John Stange, 2021

Do you feed the fires of drama, or foster a culture of peace?

When I was in high school, I had several jobs that I tried to juggle at the same time, in addition to working at my father's grocery store. It was a tiring, but very educational experience. I learned a lot in the process, and was exposed to a variety of interesting people who all taught me something of value in one way or another.

One particular person, an older woman that I worked with for several years demonstrated an interesting pattern that took me a while to catch on to. She was truly someone I loved and appreciated. She was a very hard worker who was highly competent in what she did. I also thought she was a lot of fun. But she had one fatal flaw that eventually stood out to me in a cautionary way. Wherever she worked, she created unnecessary drama, and sometimes that produced conflict and hard feelings. Unfortunately, I think that also cost her quite a few opportunities in life because that became her reputation.

In our relationships with our family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors, we're called to model the heart of Christ in all conversations and interactions. This world is good at teaching us how to foster drama and conflict, but Christ demonstrates what it looks like to bless one another with the kind of peace He chooses to bless us with. His desire is that His church feed a heart of unity, not a spirit of division.

Proverbs 17:9-20 gives us great counsel on how that can be accomplished. In this passage, we're challenged not to feed the fires of drama, but rather foster a culture of peace within the body of Christ.

I. Seek reconciliation and restoration

Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
    but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding
    than a hundred blows into a fool.
An evil man seeks only rebellion,
    and a cruel messenger will be sent against him. (Proverbs 17:9-11)

Years ago, Tim Keller wrote a book called "The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness." It's a short book, but the title grabbed my attention right away. In that book, Keller encourages Christians not to be so caught up in themselves. He reminds us of the joy of Christ-empowered humility. The publisher's summary of the book states this, "gospel humility means we can stop connecting every experience, every conversation with ourselves and can thus be free from self condemnation. A truly gospel humble person is not a self-hating person or a self-loving person, but a self-forgetful person."

I think if we're willing to be a little more "self-forgetful", we can also get to a spot of reconciliation and restoration a little quicker with those who may have offended us in the past. Instead of feeding the flames of bitterness in our hearts, we can stop thinking so much of ourselves and brooding over who may have wronged us.

In fact, Solomon tells us in this portion of Proverbs that those who choose to cover an offense are seeking love, but those who refuse to stop repeating the matter to every ear that's willing to listen are fostering division.

Two of the most helpful verses from the New Testament that reinforce this concept to my heart are 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. In that passage, we're told, "Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs." (1 Cor. 13:4-5, CSB). Those who have had their offenses covered by Christ, delight to share that blessing with others by keeping no record of wrongs.

A loving person seeks reconciliation and restoration, and they do so honestly. Solomon tells us that process may involve a loving rebuke and words that are momentarily hard to hear, but that's certainly preferable to the rebellion, division, and conflict that are frequently fostered by those who reject Christ and embrace the harsh values of this world.

II. Value sense over strife

Let a man meet a she-bear robbed of her cubs
    rather than a fool in his folly.
f anyone returns evil for good,
    evil will not depart from his house.
The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
    so quit before the quarrel breaks out.
He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous
    are both alike an abomination to the Lord.
Why should a fool have money in his hand to buy wisdom
    when he has no sense? (Proverbs 17:12-16)

What experience would you like to have in your home; the presence of wickedness, or obvious examples of the Lord generously blessing your household far beyond what you deserve?

I was having this conversation with my son just the other day. The Lord had blessed him in a very obvious way, and we were tracing the hand of God's providence throughout all the circumstances that had led up to that moment. That then led to a deeper discussion of the multiple ways we can trace God's hand doing that same exact thing for our family as a whole.

That contrasts with the effects of the warning Solomon gives in this passage. Here he tells us about the effects of returning evil for good. In that case, a household doesn't experience blessing but rather the greater presence of evil. In fact, Solomon seems to indicate that as long as a person persists in returning evil for good, they can continue to expect the presence of evil in their home. The spiritual and relational effects of their decisions will eventually deliver bitter fruit.

But those who have been blessed with wisdom from the Spirit of God learn to value godliness over worldliness, and sense over strife. When they notice things getting heated between them and others, they attempt to de-escalate the problem before it turns into an all out war. They quit before the quarrel breaks out. As I have often heard it said, "You don't have to attend every fight you're invited to." I value that counsel.

III. Love unconditionally

A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)

When my sisters and I were growing up, we witnessed an event where several adults that were siblings got into a long and protracted form of conflict. We didn't know all the details, but part of the conflict involved an inheritance and the transfer of real-estate. We watched them go from a seemingly loving family to divided adversaries that remained at odds with each other for years. In observing that, my sisters and I promised each other that we would never do that to each other, and by the grace of God, we have kept that promise.

But there are times when even close ties between friends and family can be tested. Solomon explained that those moments don't need to be times of division. Rather, we can continue to love one another in the midst of adversity.

One of the greatest blessings of a relationship with Jesus Christ is the realization that in Him we are loved without condition. God the Father displayed that unconditional love like this...

"God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his one and only Son into the world so that we might live through him.  Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 John 4:9-10, CSB)

In a very personal way, this demonstration of love has had a major impact on how I handle myself as a husband and a father. It is my desire to create a culture in our home that reflects the unconditional love of Christ that He demonstrated to us first. The desire to love without condition gets regularly tested in my life, but as the truth of the gospel grabs hold of my heart, this is something the Lord is helping me value and prioritize. I'm certain it makes a difference on the health of my marriage, and the quality of my parenting, and it definitely helps foster a spirit of peace in our home.

IV. Pray for wisdom to see beyond this moment

One who lacks sense gives a pledge
    and puts up security in the presence of his neighbor.
Whoever loves transgression loves strife;
    he who makes his door high seeks destruction.
A man of crooked heart does not discover good,
    and one with a dishonest tongue falls into calamity. (Proverbs 17:18-20)

Most people on this planet only live for today. They don't think much about tomorrow. They don't make decisions that will benefit themselves and others in the long-term. They just react to whatever comes their way without much thought beyond the moment.

Solomon gives a few examples of that. He speaks of people who puts up security for others (the equivalent of our modern-day practice of co-signing a loan). He speaks of those who love transgression and make their doors high or trust in high walls (which was a symbol of pride and arrogance). He also talks about that nature of living with a crooked heart and a dishonest tongue. It's all evidence of living with a short-term perspective.

But through Christ, we can experience an eternal perspective. We can live in the moment while fostering a faithful eye toward the future. We can pray that the Lord will increase our wisdom and open our eyes to see what He holds in store. It's a hopeful perspective that He grants those who trust in Him and rely on His guidance.

As Solomon explains in Proverbs 17, we can choose to be people who feed the fires of drama or we can foster a culture of Christ-empowered peace. With hearts that are ruled by Christ's peace, let's give this world a powerful glimpse of His work of transformation within us.

© John Stange, 2020

Making plans that align with God's greater purposes

A couple months ago, something happened to me that I couldn't foresee. I was at a three-day training event in Pittsburgh with a group of authors, podcasters, and business leaders. We were having a great time together, and as the event was coming to a close, I walked over to the parking garage where I had been parking my car every day, only to discover that the the gates were down and my car was locked inside. They locked the garage an hour earlier than posted.

Several other people at the event were with me when I made this discovery, and I was in such a good mood that I found this problem more comical than upsetting. I even jokingly said to one of my friends, "Hmmm. I wonder what happens next?" It seemed clear to me that the discovery of my car being locked in that garage was just the beginning of what was about to become a story I would tell the rest of my life.

The friends I was with asked me what I was going to do. I thought about it for a minute, outlined my plan for them, then gave it a shot. There was just enough room for me to slide under the gate, so I slid my way into the parking garage. Then I started my car and drove it up to the area where I could pay my toll. I hoped that paying the toll would trigger something that would lift the gate and allow me to get my car out of the building, but that didn't work.

The next part of my plan involved driving my car to the lower level of the parking garage to see if there might be another exit. There was, but it was also locked. So, for several interesting minutes, I utilized the help of my friends to brainstorm a new plan to see if we could figure out how to actually raise the gates and get my car out of the building.

There were chains attached to the gates, so I pulled them loose then attempted to raise the gates by pulling them. That didn't work. Several times I tried to lift the gates by hand, but they were securely locked. I was running out of options until another friend noticed a series of buttons on one of the walls. At her suggestion, I walked over to them and tried to discern what they might do. One button in particular caught my attention, so I pressed it and thankfully, it opened the entrance gate which would allow me to maneuver my car out of the building.

In a situation like that, it was helpful to have a plan. It was also practical to adapt the plan when my initial approach wasn't working, and helpful to have good counsel from my friends because without their help, it's entirely possible my car might still be stuck inside that building.

In general, I think making plans is a good thing, but when we're making plans, there's something we need to be careful about. For us as believers in Jesus Christ, we need to make sure that our plans aren't born out of selfish motives or worldly pursuits. When we develop a plan in life, we want to make sure that it aligns with God's greater purposes, and that's what Solomon demonstrates for us in Proverbs 16:1-9. So, what does it look like to operate with a plan that aligns with God's will?

I. Commit what you do to the Lord's glory

The plans of the heart belong to man,
    but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,
    but the Lord weighs the spirit.
Commit your work to the Lord,
    and your plans will be established. (Proverbs 16:1-3)

More times than I can count, I have listened to people outline the plans they have in store for the next season of their life. And I've done the same exact thing. We like to talk about the things we're going to do, the places we're going to go, and the open doors we're going to walk through. Occasionally, our plans work out like we expected, but more often than not, they get amended, sometimes drastically.

I still remember a conversation I had with a friend several years ago. He had developed a five-year plan for what his family was about to do. He included all kinds of specific details. On paper, it looked great. But soon after writing it all out, his wife shared some unexpected news with him. They thought they were finished having children, but apparently God had a surprise in store for them and their plans were drastically, and happily amended.

Solomon tells us that humanity likes to make plans. We have all sorts of things charted out. We have all sorts of expectations for the coming months and years, but the real answer for what's coming up rests in the sovereign and providential hand of God. He orchestrates what He knows will be best for His children. He tests the motives of our hearts. And for our benefit, He allows some of our plans to come to fruition, while others He elects to put the brakes on.

Solomon encourages us to make plans with a particular goal in mind. In Proverbs 16:3, he tells us to, "Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established." What is Solomon trying to tell us? He's telling us to commit what we do to the Lord's glory. We're challenged to submit our work to the Lord. We're invited to trust His guidance and direction. And as we do so, He will enable our plans to succeed provided that they are in line with His will.

This instruction reminds me of the words of Jesus as He prayed to the Father in Luke 22:42. In that time of prayer, Jesus said, "Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." We're called to apply that same attitude to the plans we make. He calls us to commit our plans to the His glory and submit our work to His guidance and will.

II. Turn away from evil and toward Jesus

The Lord has made everything for its purpose,
    even the wicked for the day of trouble.
Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord;
    be assured, he will not go unpunished.
By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for,
    and by the fear of the Lord one turns away from evil. (Proverbs 16:4-6)

The other day, I was watching a news broadcast that involved security tape of a crime being committed. The people in the video were not aware they were being recorded, and they certainly didn't expect the recording to be broadcast by the media. As I watched the recording, I felt conflicting emotions. On one hand, I was glad that their crime was going to be addressed, but on the other hand, I felt bad for them because it's very likely that they're about to spend years in prison. Somehow, they had been convinced to embrace evil, and now they were going to pay a steep price for that decision.

As followers of Christ, that's not the direction our lives should be taken. Scripture speaks repeatedly about the concept of repentance. Repentance is a beautiful word, but it's often treated like a very scary concept. Through Christ, we're invited to repent of our sin. When we do so, we're turning away from evil and turning toward Him. That's His calling on our lives, and that's precisely what He empowers us to do on a daily basis.

That mindset should also be reflected in the plans we make and the overall direction we attempt to bring our lives. Solomon teaches us in this passage that if we have arrogant hearts, we will invite evil into our lives and then experience punishment. Arrogance is an abomination to the Lord. Arrogance is, in effect, acting as if we're a greater authority than the Lord is. An arrogant heart elevates its plans above the plans of the Lord and rejects the opportunity to humbly seek the life-giving presence of Jesus.

But those who fear the Lord won't embrace arrogance. They will turn from evil and turn toward Jesus who atoned for their sin at the cross. In Proverbs 16:6, Solomon said, "By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for." Jesus is the perfection of steadfast love and faithfulness, and in His faithful love, He atoned for our wickedness. So, since our sin has been atoned for by Jesus, why should we return to the very thing He paid so great a price to liberate us from?

By the grace Christ supplies, make certain that the plans you craft are plans that turn away from evil and turn toward Jesus.

III. Submit your plans to the Lord's greater plan

When a man's ways please the Lord,
    he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
Better is a little with righteousness
    than great revenues with injustice.
The heart of man plans his way,
    but the Lord establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:7-9)

Have you ever noticed how it seems to be hard-wired into humanity to desire the approval of our parents? As a grown man who still has one living parent, I still care about his approval. As a father, I have seen this same desire at work in the hearts of my children at every stage of their lives. I think it's part of how we have been designed, and I also think that the greatest form of approval we have been fashioned to seek is the approval of our Heavenly Father.

In Proverbs 16:7, Solomon speaks about a man's ways pleasing the Lord. He tells us that when a man's ways please the Lord, the Lord will even cause the man's enemies to be a peace with Him. We're also told in Proverbs 16:9 that the Lord will establish the steps of a person who submits their plans over to Him. These are encouraging aspects of our relationship with God to see illustrated in His word.

One of the aspects of the gospel that amazes me is the fact that in Christ, the Father is pleased with us. If we've trusted in Jesus, He lives within us. From that point, whenever God the Father looks at us, He sees His Son and He is pleased. Do you let yourself think about that? Does it amaze you that God could possibly look at your life and be pleased with you?

and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17)

Do you have a plan for your life? Have you submitted that plan over to the Lord? Can you confidently say that the Lord is pleased with that plan?

When we make plans, we need to make sure that those plans align with God's greater purposes. A plan that aligns with His purposes pleases Him. A plan that aligns with His purposes is blessed by Him. A plan that aligns with His purposes brings Him glory.

© John Stange, 2020

Are you communicating the heart of the gospel?

A few nights ago, my daughter brought something up to me that concerned her. She had been watching a video online regarding some prominent pastors. The person who posted it took issue with the way some of these men were speaking. Apparently, some had chosen to be rather loose with their language and, potentially for shock value, had chosen to interject some profanity into their messages.

My daughter was troubled by this and wanted to hear my opinion. I told her that I don't like when people choose to do that because I think it creates a needless stumbling block. I also don't think it's a mature decision for someone who is supposed to be serving as an ambassador of Christ to speak in a way that doesn't represent the way Christ would speak.

One of the most powerful things about a person are the words they communicate and the way in which they communicate them. You may not be someone of great physical stature, but don't let yourself be convinced that there isn't great power and influence behind your words. The things that you communicate will impact people in dramatic ways.

As followers of Christ, we're called to be very intentional about how we use our words. It's through the things we say that people will hear the message of the gospel. Our conversations, the instruction we give, and the manner in which we pray should all be empowered by the Holy Spirit and aimed to reflect the heart of Christ.

Is this something that matters to you? Can Jesus be seen in what you say? Are you communicating the heart of the gospel when you interact with others? In Proverbs 15:1-8, we're shown several important ways that we as believers in Christ can use our words to honor Him.

I. Honor Christ in your conversations

A soft answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
    but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
    keeping watch on the evil and the good.
4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
    but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. (Proverbs 15:1-4)

When I was a new Christian, the book of Proverbs was one of the books of the Bible that I read most. I was fascinated with its content. I wanted to gain as much wisdom as I could from the sayings that were presented in the book. Many of those wise sayings stuck in my mind and never left, including the opening verses of Proverbs 15.

In this passage, we're admonished to be mindful of how we speak. We're told that if we answer others in a soft manner, we will turn away wrath instead of inviting it. We're told that knowledge comes forth from the tongue of the wise and that the eyes of the Lord are upon us as we speak and interact with one another. This is all helpful to know, and it's particularly interesting when these words get tested in your life soon after you first learn them.

When I was a new driver, I took my car to visit my grandmother. She lived in the city of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania where street parking was sometimes hard to get. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that a spot was open across the street from her home so I parked there, but when I left, it became apparent that her neighbor wasn't very happy about my choice of parking spots.

As I opened my car door and sat down, I noticed something on my front window. It was the top of a pizza box, tucked under my windshield wiper, and it had writing on it. As I got back out of the car to read what was on it, a man came out of a house and started yelling at me. He screamed at me for parking in front of his home (even though he had a driveway and didn't need the space).

As he yelled at me, the Holy Spirit brought to mind Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." So, when he finished screaming, I simply said, "I'm sorry. I'll be happy to move my car." I think my response surprised him because he immediately stopped yelling, hung his head low like he was ashamed of himself, and took the box top out of my hand so I couldn't read what it said. Then he quietly walked back into his house. As I drove away, I couldn't help but smile and I'm pretty sure I said out loud, "Wow, that really works!"

I'm glad the Lord allowed me to have that experience because it taught me something that has served me well all throughout my adult life. We can choose to represent the evil one in our conversations with each other, or we can honor Christ with our conversations. We can let our old fleshly nature stir up division between us an others, or we can respond to one another with grace and a demonstration of the fruit of the Spirit. From personal experience, I can testify to the fact that it's always better to honor Christ in our conversations than it is to speak like the unbelieving world chooses to speak.

II. Glorify Christ when you give instruction

5 A fool despises his father's instruction,
    but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.
6 In the house of the righteous there is much treasure,
    but trouble befalls the income of the wicked. (Proverbs 15:5-6)

Scripture tells us that people were fascinated by the teaching and instruction of Solomon. It's clear that the Holy Spirit blessed him with great wisdom, and Solomon seemed to have the desire to pass that wisdom along to others. We're told that in some contexts, people would come great distances to hear him teach.

"Now when the queen of Sheba heard of the fame of Solomon concerning the name of the Lord, she came to test him with hard questions." (1 Kings 10:1)

If you're ever placed in a position of Christian leadership, and you're given the opportunity to instruct others, you'll very likely develop a burden for the people you're teaching. You'll desperately want them to take the teaching you're passing along to heart. You'll want to see them apply it to their lives. I feel this burden every time I preach, teach, or write. If you love those you're instructing, you can't help but feel this way. I suspect Solomon loved those he was instructing as well.

As a parent, you feel this burden too, but you're also aware of the fact that there's no guarantee that your children are going to accept what you've been teaching them. Solomon makes that clear when he tells us that, "A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent." (Proverbs 15:5).

Jesus felt this burden more than anyone. When He came to this earth to instruct, rescue, redeem, and restore lost humanity, He wanted us to value His instruction. And as we learned to value it, He wanted us to convey it to others. Jesus wants us to glorify Him in the instruction we give, but He also knows what it's like to be ignored. In fact, there were many during the generation in which He visited this earth who completely dismissed His teaching.

"The queen of the South will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold, something greater than Solomon is here." (Matthew 12:42)

The people who instruct us have a demonstrable influence on our lives. If you're ever placed in a position to instruct others, glorify Christ in your instruction and point the hearts of those who listen to your words to Him.

III. Worship Christ in your supplication

7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge;
    not so the hearts of fools.
8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord,
    but the prayer of the upright is acceptable to him. (Proverbs 15:7-8)

Do you believe in the power of prayer? How convinced are you that the Lord will answer your supplication when you bring it before Him? Solomon taught that, "the prayer of the upright is acceptable to him." Are you convinced that this is true? Do you worship Jesus by lifting up your heart to Him in prayer?

While Josh McDowell was attending seminary in California, his father went home to be with the Lord. His mother had died years earlier, but Josh was not sure of her salvation. He became depressed, thinking that she might be lost. Was she a Christian or not? The thought obsessed him. “Lord,” he prayed, “somehow give me the answer so I can get back to normal. I’ve just got to know.” It seemed like an impossible request.

Two days later, Josh drove out to the ocean. He walked to the end of a pier to be alone. There sat an old woman in a lawnchair, fishing. “Where’s your home originally?” she asked.

“Michigan—Union City,” Josh replied. “Nobody’s heard of it. I tell people it’s a suburb of —”

“Battle Creek,” interrupted the woman. “I had a cousin from there. Did you know the McDowell family?”

Stunned, Josh responded, “Yes, I’m Josh McDowell!”

“I can’t believe it,” said the woman. “I’m a cousin to your mother.”

“Do you remember anything at all about my mother’s spiritual life?” asked Josh.

“Why sure—your mom and I were just girls—teenagers—when a tent revival came to town. It was the fourth night—we both went forward to accept Christ.”

“Praise God!” shouted Josh, startling the surrounding fishermen. -Our Daily Bread, September 18

Lately, the Lord has been reminding me that one of the most powerful things I can do is pray. Admittedly, one of my personality defects is my tendency to not want to burden others with my problems. As much as possible, I try to handle the problems I have in my own strength, but I'm thankful that the Lord seems to be bringing me to a spot where I'm finally convinced that my strength is not sufficient for everything that I'm facing.

When I come to the end of myself, and finally admit that I'm not truly capable of handling my burdens on my own, the Lord reminds me to come to Him. He relieves my stress through prayer. When I'm worried about our culture, the state of the church, or my children, I'm also reminded to pray. When I can't fully verbalize what's troubling me, He reminds me that all I have to do is say, "Help!" and He's ready to hear me and act upon my requests.

So many people are convinced that they need to do something to impress God in order for Him to listen to them. People think they need to do great deeds or make amazing sacrifices for Him to respond to their requests. But Solomon shows us something different. He tells us that the Lord hears the prayers of the upright. Well, how does one become upright? We become upright through the righteousness of Christ which is given to all who genuinely trust in Him. There is no other way. And as we approach the throne of the Father, covered in the righteousness of Christ, our prayers are heard and our supplications are granted in accordance with His will.

Does your life and do your words communicate the heart of the gospel? Do the things that proceed from your mouth honor the one who created your lips? Jesus wants to be seen in your life. He wants to give others a glimpse of Himself through your conversations, instruction, and times of prayer. Will you submit your life over to Him so that this transformative process can begin?

© John Stange, 2020

Building a life that can withstand what's thrown at it

On the last day of sixth grade, I got into a fight. I don't remember what prompted it, but I do remember that it happened during an outdoor gym class. Being that it was the last day of school, our gym teacher was in no mood for our behavior and he snapped.

After yelling at me and the kid I was fighting, he took a basketball and threw it at the other kid. The ball whacked him hard and he bent over crying. Then the teacher took that same ball and winged it at me, but to his surprise (and extra annoyance) I caught it, gave him a smile, and bounced it back to him. It definitely benefitted me that he threw the ball at me second because that took the element of surprise away and I was better able to anticipate it.

Some things in life catch us off guard, and other events and experiences are a little bit easier to anticipate. How are you handling what's being thrown at you? Are you building a life that can withstand what's being thrown at it, or do you feel a little beat up by some of the surprises that have come your way?

For many people, this year has been filled with unforeseen challenges and unexpected difficulties. Some of us are experiencing changes in relationships and occupations. Some of us are mourning the interruptions to our daily routines, limits on our personal freedoms, medical challenges, and even the extra hoops we have to jump through in order to be able to travel.

But here's what I know. Our circumstances and opportunities are always changing, yet the nature of our Savior Jesus Christ never changes. And with His help, we truly can withstand whatever comes against us in this world. Proverbs 12 gives us some great examples of what that looks like. What does this portion of Scripture teach us to withstand?

I. Withstanding the onslaught of wickedness

The wicked are overthrown and are no more,
    but the house of the righteous will stand.
A man is commended according to his good sense,
    but one of twisted mind is despised. (Proverbs 12:7-8)

When the Lord created this earth, He created it perfectly. There was no sin. There were no shortcomings. There were no regrets, but knowingly, mankind rebelled against Him and invited wickedness into our earthly experience. Wickedness is something all mankind has struggled with since the day it was first invited into our lives.

The cultures of this world have historically celebrated evil. We champion violence. We give hearty approval to greed. Sometimes we envy those who seem to get away with the most evil. It's as if we've turned rebellion against the Lord into a game and we're just seeing how much we can attempt to get away with.

But those who have a genuine relationship with Jesus can testify to the fact that they are no longer mastered by wickedness. The victory over sin that Christ secured on the cross is a victory that's shared with all who trust in Him. That victory becomes apparent in all areas of a believer's life. We see the effects of that victory on display in this portion of Proverbs.

In this passage, Solomon speaks of the fact that the household of the righteous will stand, and a man who exhibits good sense will be commended. This is the fruit of a changed heart. This is the effect of Christ's presence on a person's home and life. And it stands in stark contrast to the long-term effects of those who persist in wickedness. Solomon tells us that those who continue to embrace wickedness will be despised and eventually overthrown.

Wickedness comes at us from every direction, even if we follow Jesus. I don't think I ever realized that more than I did when I first became a father. Being that I desire our home to be a place where Christ is honored, I do my best to attempt to filter sources of wickedness out of our home. Let me be the first to admit just how challenging that can be. You don't even have to go looking for it. It comes looking for you.

But with the strength of Christ, we can withstand evil. I love what we're told in Ephesians 6:13...

"Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm."  (Ephesians 6:13)

I'm grateful that even though we live in a world that has been tainted with sin, we have been given the tools we need, through the Spirit of God, to stand firm and withstand evil when it comes looking for us.

II. Withstanding a haughty attitude

Better to be lowly and have a servant
    than to play the great man and lack bread.
Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast,
    but the mercy of the wicked is cruel. (Proverbs 12:9-10)

Several months ago, I had the opportunity to interact with a man that I didn't know very well. We have a common friend, and I was introduced to him through that friendship. During the course of our conversation, something about him seemed off to me. I wasn't sure if he had a chip on his shoulder or what, but I wasn't a huge fan of the way he carried himself. Eventually, he turned the conversation into a discussion about how much money he had. Now I don't know if he really has money or not, but I can tell you that he definitely wanted me to believe he did. As he bragged about how much money he has at this season of life, I thought to myself, "What's the quickest way I can exit this conversation?" I grew instantly tired of listening to his bragging and haughtiness.

Solomon, on the other hand, was one of the richest men to ever live. He had more wealth than he probably knew what to do with, yet look at the words he penned under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Solomon expressed that it was better to be lowly and humble than to pretend to be wealthy. It's better to lift others up when they're with you than try to drag them down or attempt to make them feel like they can't compare to you. Conceit drags people down. Humility lifts others up. And those who are truly humble will reveal their humility in ways that might surprise you.

One of those surprising examples of a person's humility and their value for life shows itself in the kind of mercy they would show an animal or a beast of burden. Solomon says that the righteous has regard for the life of his beast. He cares about what God has created. He sees animals as a gift from God and demonstrates the kinship God has created between humans and animals.

I saw a video recently that demonstrated the beauty of mercy begin shown to an animal, and I thought it was fascinating to observe. A young dog with a beautiful grey coat had been abandoned and brought to a shelter. It was so fearful around humans that it wouldn't eat. Eventually, the man who ran the shelter took two bowls of food, one for the dog and one for himself, then he sat down to eat with the dog inside the cage. With each bite the man took, he would also attempt to feed the dog. Eventually, the dog settled down and learned to trust him. In time, it began eating regularly and learned to socialize so well that the man decided to keep it for himself.

It was an act of humility for that man to be willing to sit in that cage with that dog, but isn't that exactly what Jesus has done for us? He saw us in our lost, scared, and hopeless condition, and He sat down to a meal with us. He showed us mercy while we were living like animals, and He invites us to model His humility to others while withstanding a haughty attitude.

III. Withstanding anxiety

Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down,
    but a good word makes him glad. (Proverbs 12:25)

When someone you know is going through a season of anxiety, you can often tell just by looking at them. The expression on their face is down. They sit a little lower in a chair. Their shoulders seems a little hunched when they walk. Their pace may seem a little slower and their energy level may be depleted. There are external signs that signify what is taking place in their heart. If they are overcome by their worries and fears, their hearts are weighed down and begin to feel heavy.

Just last week, I walked past one of the members of our church and I happened to notice something different about her facial expression. Normally, she's a very enthusiastic person, but that day, I could tell just by looking at her that something was troubling her. I took a moment to ask her about it, and she admitted that she was feeling anxious about an upcoming surgery. She was burdened by the thought and very nervous, so a small group of us took a few moments to lift her up in prayer and offer words of encouragement. It seemed to help, and thankfully, everything went fine with her surgery as well.

Anxiety weighs us down. It tells us that we need to handle the things that only Jesus can handle. It makes us feel like we have been forced to carry a load that is beyond our ability to carry. It influences us to think that help isn't available to us and we're completely alone in our struggle.

Proverbs 12:25 reminds us that there is an alternative to being weighed down by anxiety. Our fears like to keep us hunched in a beaten down position, but a "good word" can make us glad. A good word can make us feel light again. A good word can be used by God to lift us up.

There is no greater word than the gospel. The word "gospel" literally means "good news" and good news is proclaimed and demonstrated all throughout the pages of Scripture.

In the gospel we're told that God created the world and humanity perfect. We rebelled against Him and became both sinful and condemned. But in His mercy, He chose to offer us a second chance.

Jesus, the Son of God, came to this earth in flesh, lived the perfect life, took the punishment for our sin upon Himself at the cross, died in our place, rose from death, defeated sin, Satan and death and assures us that through faith in Him, we will be forgiven and given new life. In Jesus, we are no longer condemned, we are made righteous and are holy in His sight.

What message are you preaching to your heart? Is it a message of condemnation that produces anxiety or the good word of the gospel that produces joy?

With the power of Christ, your life can withstand what's being thrown at it. You have His strength to defeat the power of wickedness, His heart to combat a haughty attitude, and His hope to repel the encroachment of anxiety. Welcome His presence, and let Him keep building you into the person He has called you to be.

© John Stange, 2020

Will your integrity fuel your generosity?

The book of Proverbs is filled with good counsel and help. In it, the Lord reveals His heart and mind to us, and attempts to lead us down the right path. It is a practical book, but its practical wisdom can only truly be lived out by those who have genuine faith in the Lord.

Proverbs 11, like many of the chapters in this book, deals with multiple subjects and offers a variety of helpful contrasts between wisdom and folly, giving and taking, and righteousness and wickedness. As we look at these verses, I hope at least two concepts will catch your eye in particular; integrity and generosity. In fact, the primary question we're going to attempt to answer as we look through this chapter is, "Will your integrity fuel your generosity?"

I. Integrity won't lead you down a destructive path

"A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight. When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.  The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.  Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death." (Proverbs 11:1-4)

Integrity is something that clearly matters to the Lord. When we read through the Scriptures, we can see that the subject is brought up through direct teaching, historical stories, and the example of the Lord Himself.

One the best definitions I have heard of integrity is this; “Integrity is doing the right thing when someone is watching and when they aren’t.” I like that definition, but for us as believers, we have the additional sense of accountability in knowing that the Lord is always watching.

As Solomon speaks about righteousness and integrity in these verses, he tells us that the Lord delights in just weights, values humility, admonishes us to keep our way straight, and to walk in righteousness.

As the Lord reveals these concepts through Solomon, we’re also shown their opposite. We’re told of people who keep false balances, walk in pride, take a crooked path, and put their trust in riches. Each of those examples is given to us to caution us not to follow their unwise and godless patterns.

During the course of Christ’s earthy ministry, He demonstrated to us what it was like to live with humble integrity. There weren’t two versions of Jesus. He was the same person in front of a large crowd and when He sat down for a meal with a small group. He spoke creation into existence, yet He was willing to humble Himself so He could effectively serve us.

Jesus isn’t asking us to do anything He wasn’t willing to demonstrate for us. As Christ was willing to take the form of a servant in order to serve us, so too should we be willing to serve one another. As Christ is the perfection of integrity, so too should we be willing to seek His guidance in order to live with integrity in our generation.

The godly and righteous traits that Solomon emphasizes in these verses find their pinnacle in Jesus. He is the standard of integrity and humility that we should all value, emulate, and worship.

II. You can have hope beyond this moment

"When the wicked dies, his hope will perish, and the expectation of wealth perishes too.  The righteous is delivered from trouble, and the wicked walks into it instead." (Proverbs 11:7-8)

Several days ago, I officiated for a funeral. Funerals can be emotionally difficult for family and friends, but they can also be hopeful moments when the redemption Christ has offered us is welcomed and celebrated.

As I looked around the room at the many faces that were gathered, I saw a lot of sadness, but I also saw hope and joy. As believers, we truly have a hope that’s genuinely anchored in Jesus Christ.

Solomon tells us that when the wicked die, they don’t have the hope we as believers possess. Those who reject the Lord place their hope in earthly and transient things. They struggle to think about things from an eternal perspective. They usually remain caught up in the moment. Their greatest hopes are in their riches, their government, their status, or their abilities. But what sense does it make to anchor your hope to something that can change? What logic is there in anchoring your hope to something that can be taken away from you?

Through Christ, we have hope beyond the moment. Our hope is anchored in His unchanging and powerful nature. He holds us securely in His hands. He teaches us not to place our trust in things that can change or be taken away. He invites us to approach life with confidence that surpasses the shaky beliefs that govern the hearts of lost humanity.

III. It is a privilege to rejoice in righteousness

"With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered.  When it goes well with the righteous, the city rejoices, and when the wicked perish there are shouts of gladness.  By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is overthrown.  Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent." (Proverbs 11:9-12)

Very recently, a friend of mine began the process of buying her first house. For years she has dealt with a lot of adversity, but she’s transitioning into a new season of life, and she has much reason to be optimistic. As a child, she dealt with a lot of pain in her family, and she frequently felt unloved and abandoned. As an adult, she has admittedly struggled to believe that anyone would want to genuinely be her friend, let alone respect her or value what she’s accomplished.

She has admitted that to some of us, but just the other day, she took the risk to post of picture of the house she’s buying. The place is beautiful. And to her surprise, hundreds of people have now gone out of their way to let her know how happy they are for her and how they’re celebrating this purchase right along with her. It’s as if we’re all living vicariously through her to celebrate her accomplishments as our own.

A similar thing happens in the lives of those who practice righteousness. Solomon tell us that when it goes well with the righteous, the city rejoices and the city is exalted. Everyone feels lifted up right along with them.

This stands in stark contrast to the activities of the godless and wicked. Godless men destroy their neighbors. They use their words to cut them down and belittle them. They attempt to bring harm to others because they’re convinced that the only way they can feel better about themselves is by making others feel low.

But the truth is we will never ultimately feel better by crushing the spirit of another brother or sister. The more we violate our conscience or ignore the voice of the Holy Spirit when He speaks to us, the lower we will eventually feel. But if we speak with grace and go out of our way to lift others up, we will honor the people the Lord has blessed us with the privilege to interact with.

IV. Kindness isn't as expensive as you think it is

"A gracious woman gets honor, and violent men get riches.  A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.  The wicked earns deceptive wages, but one who sows righteousness gets a sure reward.  Whoever is steadfast in righteousness will live, but he who pursues evil will die.  Those of crooked heart are an abomination to the Lord, but those of blameless ways are his delight.  Be assured, an evil person will not go unpunished, but the offspring of the righteous will be delivered." (Proverbs 11:16-21)

What does kindness cost you? That might seem like a funny question, and in some respects, it may not even be a logical question because ultimately, I believe Scripture teaches us that kindness is a net-gain, not a net-loss. A kind person receives much more in benefit than they incur as an expense.

The wicked defraud. They attempt to earn dishonest wages. Their eyes are glued to the prospect of earthly rewards. But those who walk in the righteousness of Christ, find life. Even their children experience great blessings.

As a father, I take great joy in the thought of the blessing of God being poured out upon my children and grandchildren. In this passage we're told that the Lord has blessings in store for the children of those who truly believe in Him. We're told here that "the offspring of the righteous will be delivered." True deliverance is found through Jesus Christ, so it's my prayer that the generations that come from me will truly enjoy the deliverance that Christ offers them through faith in Him.

V. Let the generous heart of Christ be seen in you

"The desire of the righteous ends only in good, the expectation of the wicked in wrath.  One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.  Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.  The people curse him who holds back grain, but a blessing is on the head of him who sells it.  Whoever diligently seeks good seeks favor, but evil comes to him who searches for it.  Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like a green leaf.  Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart.  The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and whoever captures souls is wise.  If the righteous is repaid on earth, how much more the wicked and the sinner!" (Proverbs 11:23-31)

This proverbs concludes with multiple examples of biblical generosity. In this passage, believers are admonished to give freely, lavish blessings upon others, and enjoy the blessings that come back upon them as they practice generosity. We're also reminded never to trust in riches. Our calling is to trust the One who blesses without idolizing the blessings He bestows.

One of the things the Lord has been communicating to my heart repeatedly, particularly in recent years, is that one of the greatest earthly joys He will allow me to experience is the privilege to be generous with what He entrusts to me. Last week, He surprised us financially in an unexpected way. In return, we were able to be extra generous in our giving toward His work in the church. I also had lunch with a group of friends, so I decided to surprise them and pay the bill. Someone we met during the week expressed a need for food, so we bought them groceries. A member of our family had a car repair that we contributed to. We also made an extra principal payment toward our mortgage (so I guess we were even a little generous toward the bank).

Do you ever wonder what you might do if the Lord surprised you and gave you millions of dollars? What would you do with it? Can I suggest something that I think is pretty accurate? I think you'd be just as generous with it as you already are with what you presently have, no more and no less.

When the nature of Christ's generosity toward us becomes clear to our thinking, and we realize just how blessed we truly are, it becomes difficult not to be generous in return. As recipients of these blessings, Solomon encourages us not to withhold sharing with others what the Lord has blessed us to share. Just as Christ demonstrated with His sacrificial actions and His personal generosity, it truly is better to give than it is to receive.

© John Stange, 2020

Will you trust the Lord when you're feeling uneasy?

The other day, two similar things happened to me at the same time. First, I was talking to a friend of mine and he admitted to having had a hard morning. His family wasn't home, his schedule was being unexpectedly interrupted, and he was feeling emotionally off. He couldn't fully put his finger on the reason why he felt like he did, but he said his goal was to continue getting his work done in spite of his emotions.

At the same time that conversation was taking place, I received a text from a family friend who lives near where I grew up. She received news earlier that day that alarmed her, and she wanted an outside perspective on what she was experiencing, so we spent a few minutes chatting through her concern and getting to the heart of the matter.

I bring up these examples, because I think we all experience seasons in life when we feel uneasy. Maybe you're dealing with unexpected change in your life. Maybe you feel like you're being taken advantage of by someone you once trusted. Maybe you can't even put a finger on why you feel how you feel. Those experiences are common to us all, but what can we do when we're feeling uneasy or uncertain?

One of the things that you'll see as a pattern throughout Scripture is the Lord's invitation to trust Him in every circumstance. That's a pattern you'll see in Proverbs 10 as well. In this chapter, the Lord demonstrates the fact that He is overseeing our lives, working His will out through us, and bringing an end to the efforts of wickedness that threaten us. Let's look at some of the reasons the Lord assures us our hearts can be at peace.

I. The Lord won't let the righteous go hungry

A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.  Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from death.  The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry, but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.  A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.  He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame. (Proverbs 1b-5)

As you'll see in the statements included in this chapter, and in the coming chapters, many of the proverbs provide a contrast between the actions of the righteous and the wicked, or the wise and the foolish. We see that pattern clearly established in these verses in particular.

In speaking of the wicked, Solomon makes it clear that they bring sorrow and shame to their family, do not ultimately profit from their activity, will not be satisfied by the pursuit of their cravings, and will experience not only physical poverty, but relational and spiritual poverty as well. It isn't a pretty picture, but it is the reality of a life that's being lived absent of genuine faith in the Lord.

The righteous, on the other hand, are promised a much different outcome in their life. They bring gladness and honor to their family, experience spiritual life, are satisfied by what the Lord grants to them, and are amply supplied materially, relationally, and spiritually. The contrast between the wicked and the righteous couldn't be more stark.

But one of the things that really catches my eye about this group of verses is the Lord's promise that He will not let the righteous go hungry. How does that promise hit your ears? How does that assurance strike you?

Scripture tells us something very specific about righteousness. Left to ourselves, we aren't righteous. But through faith in Jesus, we are granted His righteousness as a gift. He imputes His righteousness to our account because we were deficient and needy.

"But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction:" (Romans 3:21-22)

Having received the gift of the righteousness of Christ through faith, I can personally testify to the fact that the Lord has met and continues to meet my every need. As a child, and as an adult, I have experienced some lean seasons that very easily could have taken me down the path of worry, but the Lord hasn't let that worry take hold in my heart because He has shown me in demonstrable ways that he feeds and meets the needs of those He calls His own. The Lord won't let the righteous go hungry. That is His promise to us.

II. The Lord will give you the right thing to say

Blessings are on the head of the righteous, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.  The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.  Whoever winks the eye causes trouble, and a babbling fool will come to ruin.  The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.  Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.  On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense.  The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near.  Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.  The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.  When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.  The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is of little worth.  The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense. (Proverbs 10:6, 8, 10-14, 17-21)

I'm always amazed at just how important words are to the Lord. But when I think about it, that makes a lot of sense because Scripture tells us He spoke creation into existence and continues to uphold it by His powerful word.

"He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power." (Hebrews 1:3a)

The application of how our words are to be used is demonstrated in a variety of ways in this passage. Solomon tells us that the wicked and unwise use their words for destructive purposes, while the righteous and wise use their words to edify, bless, and honor.

The wicked promote violence, babble instead of listening, stir up strife, bring ruin, lead people astray, promote hatred, and engage in slander. The righteous receive instruction, promote life, forgive offenses, share wisdom, teach knowledge, and restrain themselves from speaking when it wouldn't be helpful.

In looking at these examples, I see a picture of the temperament of someone whose life is being led by the Holy Spirit verses someone whose actions are being dictated by the cravings of their sinful nature. We can build or we can destroy with our words, but a follower of Christ will emulate His example. We will use our words to make investments in the lives of others, and convey the wisdom and life found in His gospel.

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." (Ephesians 4:29)

Don't underestimate the power of your words, particularly the words you speak to someone at a young or insecure season of life. One of the things that the Lord used to help sustain me during my youth was the kind words of one of the women in my home church. On many occasions during some of the most insecure seasons of my life, she used to say to me, "I don't know what God has planned for you, but I'm convinced He's going to do something special with your life. He has something amazing in store for you." I couldn't fathom why she was so convinced of that and why she would repeat it so often to me (and to my mother), but she was convinced of it.

She built me up with her words and God regularly spoke through her to me. She also made a point to teach me theology and other important spiritual concepts. And since that time, there are plenty of things that I have spoken from pulpits and written in books that were first explained to me by a woman in my home church who chose to make a verbal investment in my young and insecure life. I believe the Lord will also give you the right things to say if your heart and your tongue are submitted over to His lordship. If your life is submitted to the lordship of Christ, His Spirit will guide and direct your tongue to say precisely what's needed when it's needed.

III. The Lord will bring wickedness to an abrupt end

The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it. Doing wrong is like a joke to a fool, but wisdom is pleasure to a man of understanding.  What the wicked dreads will come upon him, but the desire of the righteous will be granted.  When the tempest passes, the wicked is no more, but the righteous is established forever.  Like vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so is the sluggard to those who send him.  The fear of the Lord prolongs life, but the years of the wicked will be short.  The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.  The way of the Lord is a stronghold to the blameless, but destruction to evildoers.  The righteous will never be removed, but the wicked will not dwell in the land. The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off.  The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse. (Proverbs 10:22-32)

We live in an era in which many people choose to be brazen and bold with their rebellion against the Lord. I realize that's not necessarily unique to our era, but it does surprise me to observe it. The longer I have known the Lord, the more foreign my heart is becoming to living in rebellion to Him. One of my prayers for myself and my household is that we would live in the fear of the Lord. That we would learn to revere, respect, and love Him so much that we won't attempt to take our lives in a direction marked by disobedience to Him.

The only reason that's a priority in my life is because Jesus Christ has gripped my heart. Now that I know Him, value Him, and find my joy through Him, my perspective toward what contributes to a good life is drastically different from what it once was.

There are many in this world, however, who are convinced they will find satisfaction and delight through their direct rebellion against the Lord. They don't fear Him. They make a joke of His will or His ways, and they're convinced they can get away with whatever they want to get away with. But soon enough, they'll realize that they can't. We will all give an answer for our lives before the Lord. Wickedness has a short shelf-life, and the Lord promises to bring it to an abrupt end in His perfect timing. As this proverb states, the very thing the wicked dread will eventually come upon them. Their years will be cut short, and their expectations will perish.

When I was a teenager, my room was covered in posters of my musical heroes. Many of them were the famous rock stars of the day, and for years, I considered them to be the model of what the ideal life looked like. Now that several decades have passed since I idolized those men, it has been interesting and tragic to observe what life has been like for them in the years since. Most of those who are still living seem to exist in a state of permanent sadness and regret. The foundation they built their lives upon was faulty, and it left a trail of destruction in its wake.

But Christ wants more for us than that. He wants us to experience the confident hope of being assured that He will meet our needs, speak through us in powerful ways, and that His righteousness will ultimately reign upon this earth.

Apart from His intervention, we were lost, but now that He has drawn us unto Himself, we can live with confident faith in Him. So if you've been feeling uneasy for good reasons or for no good reason, please remember the wise examples we see in this portion of Proverbs and remember we can trust the Lord no matter how we may feel in any given moment.

© John Stange, 2020

Is it hard for you to accept correction?

Have you ever said something out loud that you didn't think would surprise someone, but it totally did? When I was being trained in counseling, I would spend time training in a group lab with other counselors. In that context, we would practice our skills on each other and attempt to refine each others' abilities.

One afternoon, we were asked to give feedback to each other about what the experience was like and I admitted to another counselor something that she seemed shocked to hear. I told her, "I don't think you'd be easy to counsel." The look on her face when I said that was one of surprise, alarm, and possibly hurt. I certainly didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but her resistance to outside input during our practice session gave me that feeling.

Soon after that experience, I started to ask myself if someone might also be able to make that statement about me, and I think it's fair to say that, depending on the subject, I might also be difficult to counsel. That's an area of life that I'm actively trying to improve, and I suspect it will continue to be an area I'll want to keep an eye on.

What about you? How well do you respond to counsel or correction? Do you get defensive and dismissive, or do you receive it with humility? Proverbs 9 invites us to wrestle with that thought.

I. Will you walk in the way of insight?

Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn her seven pillars.  She has slaughtered her beasts; she has mixed her wine; she has also set her table.  She has sent out her young women to call from the highest places in the town,  “Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!” To him who lacks sense she says, “Come, eat of my bread and drink of the wine I have mixed.  Leave your simple ways, and live, and walk in the way of insight.” (Proverbs 9:1-6)

This proverbs utilizes the literary device of personification. As Solomon attempts to help us see the contrast between wisdom and folly, he presents them as if they are two different women. The woman of Wisdom is prudent, thoughtful, inviting, helpful, and filled with good counsel. She tries to guide lost people onto a better path. The woman of Folly does the exact opposite, but we'll examine her activities a little later.

In these verses, Solomon is trying to convey a picture of the benefits of embracing the wise counsel of the Lord. One of the major benefits we enjoy as those who trust in Jesus Christ is greater insight. He grants us His mind. He lets us see with His eyes. Through the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, we are being intentionally led toward the truth, and we're being shown all sorts of things we wouldn't have naturally perceived. This chapter of Proverbs helps us gain a better understanding of how the Lord is actively pursuing us with His wisdom.

When we observe the work of the Lord, we see that He is intentional, organized, and methodical with His plans and the ways in which He deals with humanity. The personification of wisdom that we see in this passage helps illustrate that. We're told that Wisdom has built her house, prepared food and drink, and sent out her servants to extend an open invitation to partake. The Lord's activity toward humanity is being illustrated in this description. He's building His house, preparing a banquet table, and sending out His ambassadors into this world to extend an invitation.

In this passage, we're told that Wisdom invites the simple to change course, to eat the food she offers, to leave their simple ways, and to walk in the way of insight. Again, this is all being shown to us to help us gain a greater glimpse of the redemptive work of our Lord. Through Christ, we're invited to change course, find our sustenance in Him, leave our life of spiritual blindness, and walk in the light of the truth of His gospel.

That's all beautiful to consider, but it begs the question, "Will you walk in the ways of insight?" True insight is found in Jesus. True wisdom is found in Him. Do you want what He has to offer, or will you settle for the counsel of an "influencer" or a "guru" that is not omniscient? And lest that sound like I'm pointing a finger at you alone, I promise I'm not. That's a question I'm forced to wrestle with as well.

I have two offices that are both filled with books. In addition to that, I have bookshelves throughout my home that are also full, as well as a vast collection of digital books on most of my devices. Every day I'm reading the words and ideas of people that I allow to influence me. To their credit, many of them provide counsel that helps me navigate different areas of life. But the counsel of someone who isn't omniscient cannot supersede the counsel of one who is.

The wise counsel of God, accessed through faith in Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit, will allow us to gain real insight. And as our mind begins the grasp the value of godly wisdom, His Spirit is willing to empower us to put it into practice in our daily walk.

II. Can you be corrected?

"Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.  Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.  For by me your days will be multiplied, and years will be added to your life.  If you are wise, you are wise for yourself; if you scoff, you alone will bear it." (Proverbs 9:7-12)

How well do you respond to being corrected? What's your gut-level response or reaction?

I have noticed that some of the most successful people I know in just about every field also tend to be the most correctable. I have also noticed that the people in my life who never really seem to gain traction or momentum also tend to resist correction.

In this passage, Solomon tells us about the nature of correcting the uncorrectable. If you correct a scoffer, you get scoffed at. If you challenge a wicked man, you get injured. In both cases, we're being shown the gut-level response of these people to correction. They fight against it, and they do everything in their power to keep those who correct them at a distance. At times, the uncorrectable aren't afraid to verbally or physically hurt those who offer them wisdom.

But what happens when you instruct a wise man? If you give him good counsel, he will love you because he realizes the nature of the favor you've done for him. You've saved him from needless harm, error, or expense. You've been more beneficial to him than an entire army of "yes-men."

I have also observed an interesting pattern among the wise that truly sets them apart from those who refuse to be corrected. The ignorant invest in their distractions. The wise invest in their understanding. Some of the wisest people I know are always telling me about courses they're taking, books they're reading, and discussions they're having, while the ignorant only seem to care about the next thing that might make them giggle.

In drawing the contrast between the scoffer and the wise man, Solomon goes on to make it clear that the wisest among us will always be those who fear the Lord. When a person lives with genuine reverence and respect for the Lord, they are in a perpetual listening posture. Their entire life is being lived with an ear toward Heaven as they await the counsel and instruction the Lord will offer them next.

Years ago, a pastor told me the story of how his church building was built. When it was being founded, a wealthy businessman offered to pay for its construction. During the process, he asked the pastor to give him an answer related to something in his personal life. The pastor gave an honest answer, in a gentle way, even though it challenged the businessman's decision. Most people were afraid to challenge him, but because the pastor gave him honest counsel, he thanked him and said, "Thank you for your honesty. I had already decided that if you weren't honest with me, I wasn't going to continue funding this church."

I also know of a ministry leader that completely rejected the counsel of his board of advisors when they corrected him about an obvious (but correctable) error. In fact, he made this his ongoing pattern, and now they refuse to work with him at all. Nearly all have resigned.

What's your story? Can you be corrected, or will you do your best to resist it?

III. Who has your ear?

The woman Folly is loud; she is seductive and knows nothing.  She sits at the door of her house; she takes a seat on the highest places of the town, calling to those who pass by, who are going straight on their way,  “Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!” And to him who lacks sense she says,  “Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”  But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Sheol. (Proverbs 9:13-18)

The picture Solomon paints in these verses is unpleasant and possibly offensive. He personifies folly and tells us that it's like a seductive woman who knows nothing. She yells, she entices passers by, and she invites people to join her on her path toward utter destruction. The picture painted here reminds me of a something my daughter and I witnessed last year in Philadelphia.

My daughter was purchasing a car from an older gentleman, and after we test-drove it, we took it to a business to complete the purchase and have the title changed. Twenty feet away from the door of the business, there was a woman standing on the corner of the street. She had a broom in her hand and she was yelling at nearly everyone who passed by, including another woman who looked like she was trying to walk home from work. As she yelled at that woman, she started making fun of her physical appearance, and it was so offensive that it caused a man who was also walking in close proximity to react and try to stop the screaming woman from yelling such hurtful words.

As I witnessed that, I prayed that the woman who was insulted wouldn't take the insults she just received to heart. I was hopeful that the Lord would strike those thoughts from her memory so she wouldn't internalize what she just heard.

In a similar vein, it's probably good for us to ask, "Who has our ear?" Are we listening to the loud yelling of folly, or can we hear the still small voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to our conscience?

If we're arrogant, we won't hear the voice of the Spirit. The arrogant have ears that have been conditioned to primarily perceive folly, but the humble are listening for the voice of God.

The arrogant don't like to listen. They would rather speak than open their ears to the truth. They would rather live their lives convinced that they've already got everything figured out. In a sense, they attempt to be their own messiah. Instead of responding to the gracious offer of Jesus to save them, they attempt to be their own savior. Their ears aren't open to hear His life-giving gospel. They only want to hear themselves speak.

What about you? Do you think you're perfect? Do you even think you need Jesus? He's offering Himself to you. In fact, He may be calling out to you today, but you're going to have to turn down the volume on "the woman of Folly" if you're going to hear Him. But if you do hear Him, and respond to His invitation, He will graciously guide and protect you for the rest of your life.

Accepting correction isn't easy for many people, but a correctable heart is a redeemable heart. With Spirit-empowered humility, let's ask the Lord to make us receptive to the wisdom He grants us through prayer, through His word, and through the loving counsel of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

© John Stange, 2020

Your conscience will impact the quality of your life

What motivates the decisions you make? Why do you conduct yourself the way you do, and why is your life the way it is?

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend. He was telling me about some difficult things he's been dealing with lately, including some medical problems. Whenever you have medical issues, everyone offers you advice, but some of the advice he received troubled him. He said to me, "I know they're trying to be helpful, but my conscience just won't let me take that suggestion."

Part of the reason I have great respect for this friend is because he has shown me over time that he is a man of strong conscience. He has a high quality of life because he makes a point not to violate his conscience. We're all making "quality of life" decisions on a daily basis. And when we compare our decisions to the counsel we're given in Proverbs 6:1-19, we can clearly see that the quality of our lives will be directly impacted by the sensitivity of our conscience and our willingness to obey the Lord's counsel.

I. How long will you choose to remain ensnared?

"My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, have given your pledge for a stranger, if you are snared in the words of your mouth, caught in the words of your mouth, then do this, my son, and save yourself, for you have come into the hand of your neighbor: go, hasten, and plead urgently with your neighbor. Give your eyes no sleep and your eyelids no slumber; 5 save yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the hand of the fowler." (Proverbs 6:1-5)

Becoming entangled or ensnared in something is quite unpleasant. It's unpleasant physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Several years ago, there was evidence that a mouse got into our house. Most homeowners eventually experience that nuisance, and as you'd expect, I set several traps near where I had seen evidence of the mouse's presence. Soon after, I heard one of the traps snap, and when I went to check it out, there was the mouse. He wasn't dead, but he was caught.

At first, I thought I should take him outside and finish him off, but as I looked at him, I started feeling compassion for his condition. I could kill him, or I could set him free. In a moment of empathy that surprised me, I felt compelled to let him go. I did give him a warning, however, that this was a one-time pass and if I saw him again, the meeting would end differently.

Like a mouse in a trap, it's easy to become ensnared by unhealthy and unwise things during the course of our lives. In this passage, Solomon describes someone who becomes ensnared by putting up security for his neighbor. In modern terms, this would be the same concept as co-signing a loan. I don't know if you've ever done that, but it's not a good idea. I have done that in the past, but I don't plan on doing that again. It rarely ends well. Most often, you become liable for the debts of someone else or you're forced to spend years worried about whether or not they'll actually make good on their payments.

Solomon's counsel is to do everything you can to get out of that arrangement because it's a trap that ensnares you. Do whatever you ethically can to get out of it.

And while loans and pledges can ensnare us, they aren't the only things in life that attempt to trap us. Frequently, we're enticed by our temptations to become ensnared in all kinds of ungodliness. Thankfully, Jesus looks at us with compassion and He offers us freedom from our entanglements through faith in Him. And as He blesses us with that freedom, He also reminds us not to return to our previous traps. A trapped life is not a quality life. An entangled life isn't a quality life.

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)

II. Are you internally or externally motivated to work?

"Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man." (Proverbs 6:6-11)

I don't know if you're a fan of insects or if they give you the creeps, but this passage definitely deepens my appreciation of ants in particular. We're told that they provide an excellent example of the kind of work ethic the Lord wants us to develop.

Ants make preparations with an eye toward the future. They gather what they need. They do the right thing without having to be directly instructed. And they don't waste their days in a slothful manner.

On the other hand, this world is filled with many people who have been created in the image of God, that choose to sleep away the time they can be using to make a meaningful contribution with their life. Solomon tells us that excessive slumber and laziness lead to poverty, and I'm sure we can all think of examples when we've seen that play out in the lives of people we know.

Just recently I asked my father for an update on someone that I remember him helping out years ago. "What happened to him?," I asked. He said, "After getting hired for an entry-level job, he decided to stop showing up. Now he primarily stays in his apartment, drinking beer, watching TV, and coming up with creative ways to convince the government to fund his lazy lifestyle, even though he's fully capable of working."

Are you motivated to do what the Lord has called you to do? Are you using your time, talents, and energy in accordance with His calling on your life, or are you wasting your days on distractions while avoiding your calling?

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." (Colossians 3:23-24)

In whatever vocation or area of service we commit ourselves to, let's do so with the understanding that we aren't serving ourselves, we're serving Christ. He is the one we're seeking to honor.

III. Can you be trusted to shoot straight?

"A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing." (Proverbs 6:12-15)

Something that has become very clear throughout the course of my life is the fact that the truth always comes to the surface. At times, I have felt frustrated with those who were operating dishonestly or in a shady manner, but the Lord has made it more and more apparent that if I wait long enough, I will see Him bring the truth to light.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we're called to be truth-bearers. Since our words and deeds impact the impression people have of Him, we should be mindful of the spiritual implications of our actions. Jesus instructed us to speak honestly, with a "yes" that means "yes" and a "no" that means "no" (Matthew 5:37). To do anything less demonstrates that we're deficient in our understanding of His holiness, and His calling on our lives to walk in holiness (1 Peter 1:16).

Solomon speaks to this issue as well when he tells us that a person who seeks to be of no value to others demonstrates their deficient character through dishonesty. They don't shoot straight. Their words are nothing but double-speak. Even their body language communicates deception. Eventually, when the truth comes to light, such a person will be utterly destroyed if they don't repent of their unbelief and its obvious fruit.

IV. Are you making life bitter or better?

”There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers." (Proverbs 6:16-19)

As this portion of Proverbs 6 concludes, Solomon shares a summary of things that the LORD detests. He despises all forms of deception, injustice, wickedness, and division. These are actions and attitudes that reflect the motives of Satan, not the heart of Christ. As Satan was cast away from the LORD's presence, so too will those who persist in the rebellion and unbelief of Satan.

But as followers of Christ, we have been blessed with a much greater option. Instead of making the lives of others bitter, we have been empowered to make their lives better through the power of the Holy Spirit who is at work within us. True quality of life is found through Christ, and we are graced with the blessing of investing that quality in the lives of those we interact with.

As I read this portion of the book of Proverbs, it seems clear to me that the Lord is encouraging us to be people who maintain a conscience that is sensitive to His guidance and wisdom. As we do so, we'll experience a greater quality of life, and we'll be positioned to contribute to the quality of life of others in a Christ-centered manner.

© John Stange, 2020

Affair-proof your heart

Years ago, I had a friend who seemed to be on a dangerous path. I started to notice that he was becoming far too comfortable interacting with women in a way that, in my opinion, was crossing an ethical line. His behavior started to catch the attention of several other friends as well, so instead of talking about him, I decided to talk to him. I knew it would be an awkward conversation, but I was fearful that he was going to do something that harmed his marriage and damaged his testimony. He thanked me for speaking truth into his life, assured me that he would be more careful, but eventually cheated on his wife anyway. It was hard to watch that unfold, knowing that I had done the best I could to help him.

In a similarly tragic vein, I just learned something tragic about a prominent Christian leader who projected faithfulness to his wife and fidelity to the Scriptures during the entirety of his adult life. While he was conveying an image of holiness and faithfulness, he was leading a double life of sexual infidelity.

Why bring this up? Well, for many (if not most) people, this is one of the primary areas of temptation whereby the devil tries to gain a foothold in our lives. Just look at our entertainment options or listen to the conversations of your peers. You don't have to look far to see the effects of our willingness to give our hearts over to sexual immorality.

And while it's certainly a risk to marry or trust another person, and while it's entirely possible that they may go in a direction that breaks your heart, please keep in mind that you can't control what another person does. What you can do is open your heart to the power and presence of the Holy Spirit and invite Him to lead you toward the truth of the gospel and away from temptation. He gives us His strength and His counsel to enable us to avoid unfaithfulness.

With that in mind, let's look at the counsel we're given in Proverbs 5 that demonstrates how the Spirit is enabling us to affair proof our hearts.

I. Don't let yourself be enticed by smooth words (speak the gospel to your spouse)

"My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.  For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.  Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it." (Proverbs 5:1-6)

Solomon doesn't mince words as he attempts to paint a picture in this passage. The image we're given here is of a woman who tries to tempt a man, but keep in mind this same principal works the other way too. Men tempt women. Women tempt men. Neither scenario is good. The concept being conveyed is a person who tries to drag another person down into the depths of sin, instead of building them up and pointing them toward Christ.

There are three primary sources of temptation, and it's wise to be aware of each. We can be tempted by other people, by the devil, and by ourselves. Ironically, we more often tend to blame the devil or other people for tempting us than we blame ourselves even though we tend to be the biggest source of our own temptation.

In this passage, Solomon demonstrates how the smooth words of someone else, combined with our willingness to participate in wickedness, can lead us to the path of death. The path of death is the path of ignorance and rebellion without thought of the consequences of our choices. We were all on that path before coming to faith in Christ and being placed on His path of life. And if we've received new life in Christ, it doesn't make sense for us to return to the path He rescued us from, so don't go back to it.

Rather, instead of being enticed by the smooth words of your tempter, use your words in a proactive way. If the Lord has blessed you with a spouse, speak the gospel to him or her. Give your spouse daily reminders of the grace of Christ, and the faithfulness of Christ, through the verbal reminders you pepper them with throughout the day.

II. Keep yourself away from tempting situations (spend time with your spouse)

“And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth.  Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house," (Proverbs 5:7-8)

Those who know me best know that food tends to be my biggest vice. I remember when our family first moved to Langhorne, PA, I was very pleased with the abundance of my favorite chain restaurants that are all just a 5 minute drive from my house or my office. It didn't take long before I found myself eating lunch at one of my favorites almost every day. When I finally started adding up the calories I was eating, I realized that in one meal, I was consuming more than I should eat in an entire day.

For that pattern to be interrupted, I needed to stop visiting those restaurants. It wasn't enough for me to promise myself that I'd make better food choices. I had to take a break from eating there, otherwise I'd be tempted to go right back to my unhealthy habits. I still struggle with this because I'm an emotional eater. I have the bad habit of medicating my stress with food.

With that in mind, why do you suppose the father in this passage encourages the son to stay far away from the temptress? Why is he told not to even go near the door of her house? He's being given this advice because proximity equals opportunity. If you put yourself near what tempts you, you're more likely to give in to it in a moment of weakness. If you keep your distance, you're giving yourself less opportunity to fall.

When it comes to marriage, we can flip this concept on its head and do something proactive. While keeping ourselves away from tempting situations, we can begin carving out time with our spouse. For some people, that's the primary way they know they're loved. If you carve out time for your spouse, you're demonstrating that you'd rather be with them than spend your time lurking where you're likely to be brought down.

III. You aren't an exception to the downside of unfaithfulness (so treat your spouse exceptionally)

lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless, lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner, and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed, and you say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.” (Proverbs 5:9-14)

Solomon continues to demonstrate the importance of marital fidelity in this passage by revealing the part of an affair that most participants do their best to ignore. Everyone seems to think they will be the one exception to the downside of unfaithfulness, but guess what, there are no exceptions.

Solomon very clearly tells us that the unfaithful person can expect loss of honor, oppression, to be taken advantage of, unexpected costs that derail their financial health, physical problems, and deep regret. I don't know how that sounds to you, but that certainly gets my attention. And there are no exceptions to this rule. Everyone who persists in unfaithfulness eventually pays this price.

That's why I'm so grateful that our Lord is compassionate toward us. Through Jesus, we're given the opportunity to repent of our unfaithfulness, get back on the path of life, and be cleansed of our iniquities.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

Instead of convincing ourselves that somehow we're the exception to the downside of unfaithfulness, let's treat our spouses exceptionally. Let's make a point to demonstrate the sacrificial love and fidelity of Christ within our households.

IV. Be satisfied with the blessing God has selected for you (and be a blessing to the one God chose for you)

"Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?" (Proverbs 5:15-20)

Remember when restaurants didn't give you free refills on your beverages? When I was in high school, our tennis team visited a restaurant after a match that was a distance away. I was very thirsty and ordered a large iced tea with my meal. During the meal, I made the mistake of getting up from the table and one of the guys sitting across from me took most of my drink and poured it into his cup. When I came back to the table and discovered it, I was furious.

Solomon tells us that when it comes to married life, don't try to steal someone else's drink. Drink water from your own cistern. Enjoy the blessings and benefits of marital intimacy without attempting to satisfy that desire outside of marriage. Be satisfied with the blessing God has given you. Be a blessing to the one God blessed you with. Don't covet someone else's blessing. And don't forget that your marriage is meant to demonstrate the love of Christ for His bride, the church. Guard, protect, and provide for your marriage the way Christ is caring for His.

V. God is watching (so keep a close eye on your life and motives)

"For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths.  The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.  He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray." (Proverbs 5:21-23)

Lastly, Solomon makes a point to remind us of something healthy that we far too often forget. He brings our attention to the fact that the eyes of God are always upon us. God is watching. There is nothing about our lives or our motives that can be hidden from Him. He knows it all.

If we squelch our conscience and try to live as if God cannot see us and will not hold us accountable, we will find ourselves dreadfully ensnared in the cords of sin. We'll be led astray toward folly and come to a tragic demise.

I don't know how this chapter of Proverbs strikes your ears, but I hope you can hear God's protective care in these words. He isn't revealing the downside of unfaithfulness to us to beat us up if we're already feeling guilty about something. He's revealing the truth to us so we won't take our lives in an ungodly and unwise direction. He's giving us words of prevention while also reminding us that He's the cure for this problem.

Christ is the solution for our wandering hearts. Through Him, we can affair proof our life. By finding our satisfaction in Christ, we don't need to attempt to satisfy the cravings of our old nature.

"But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:14)

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." (Matthew 5:6)

© John Stange, 2020

Do you have a forward facing faith?

When I was in my early teens, I remember our church taking the youth group on a hayride. The hayride was hosted by a farm that was a little distance away. To save gas, the adult chaperones decided that it would make sense to car pool, and several drivers offered their vehicles. One of the drivers who volunteered was our pastor. He drove a light blue station wagon with wood grain exterior trim, and I was assigned to ride with him.

During the days when seat belts were considered optional, station wagons were very fun cars for a kid to ride in. You had all the room in the world to roam around the back, but our pastor's car had one additional feature that I had never experienced before. His car had a bench seat in the far back that folded up from the floor and let you face the rear window. I volunteered to sit there and found it very entertaining. It was certainly a new perspective as a passenger.

By the end of the drive, however, the novelty wore off. It became clear to me that I strongly preferred facing forward. I wanted to see where I was going, not where I had already been. Spiritually speaking, I think that's a perspective the Lord wants us to develop as well. He invites us to be looking forward, not staring backward or looking side to side.

In Proverbs 4:20-27, Solomon speaks directly about that very thing. As we prepare to look at that passage together, let me ask, "Do you have a forward facing faith?"

I. Develop a thirst for righteous wisdom

“My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart.  For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh." (Proverbs 4:20-22)

During the warm months, I typically mow my lawn on Monday afternoons. I usually take that day off, so if the weather cooperates, it's a good time of the week for me to get that task accomplished. To some people, it's a chore, but for me it's relaxing. I try to stay hydrated while I'm mowing, but I have noticed that when I'm done, there's nothing I seem to crave more than some sort of fruit juice. I suspect that my body is sending my brain signals that the fruit juice has the nutrients or electrolytes that were depleted while I was outside working.

I think we all know what it's like to have an intense thirst for something. We find it difficult to stop thinking about it until we obtain it. In my estimation, it's practical to keep that feeling in mind when we're reading this passage. Solomon is teaching us to develop a thirst for righteous wisdom.

As he makes a pattern of doing, Solomon writes like a father speaking to a son. He instructs the son, or the reader, to be attentive to his words and to have an ear that is inclined to listen to what he's saying because in that teaching, there is life and healing.

I picture the listener here being encouraged to have thirsty ears. We're encouraged to have ears that are highly eager to receive the wisdom of God. I frequently think about this when I'm preaching. I always know that when I'm proclaiming Scripture, I have to compete with cell phones, and I can tell if someone has thirsty ears that are ready to hear the word of God by whether the phone or the passage we're looking at has their attention.

If as followers of Christ we develop a thirst for righteous wisdom, we will experience blessings that are protective in nature. As our eyes and hearts learn to point toward Christ, and our faith continues to grow mature, we will be able to filter out so much worldly confusion. We'll actually begin to see the issues behind the issues, the real problems behind the presenting problems, and the needs behind the facades as we develop a thirst for righteous wisdom.

II. Guard your heart

"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." (Proverbs 4:23)

A few months ago, I set up a new home office in my basement that has become the primary place I'm working right now. I like my desk. I like the privacy. I like the solitude that has allowed me to get more work done in less time because I have fewer distractions. But there's one problem with the office that I hope is only temporary. All of a sudden, it's being infested with yellow jackets. I still haven't figured out where these wasps are coming from, but I find myself needing to defend my favorite work environment from being invaded.

In a similar way, there are all kinds of things swarming around in our lives that would love to be able to invade our hearts. There are things that compete for our affections and our attention. There are things that want our full devotion, even though they aren't healthy or wise. Many people in this world, as well as many professing Christians, have allowed their lives to become derailed because they have stopped guarding their hearts.

Solomon encourages us to be vigilant in how we keep, protect, and watch over our hearts. He knew how susceptible our hearts can be to invasion and distraction. From our hearts we will gradually begin to display what we value and what we're prioritizing.

Our hearts, left to themselves, have a big problem. By nature, we struggle with sin, which means that our hearts our diseased and can't be fully trusted. Our hearts are actually quite adept at deceiving us. That's why Jesus chose to intervene on our behalf.

"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person." (Matthew 15:19-20a)

Our hearts reveal what we value. Our hearts reveal what's going on within us. Our hearts demonstrate just how lost we would be without Christ.

Thankfully, through Jesus we receive a new heart. He teaches us to value new things that we didn't value while we were still leaving our hearts unguarded from the arrows of worldly temptation. The new heart He gives us aligns with His eternal desires for our lives.

So how can we avoid veering in an unguarded and unhealthy direction?

III. Don't be diverted from the path God placed you on

"Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.  Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.  Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.  Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil." (Proverbs 4:24-27)

Just the other day, I received a prayer request from someone I don't know personally. Due to a downturn in her industry, she was just informed that she lost her job. I have prayed for her multiple times since hearing that, and I'm sure most of us can sympathize with the emotions she's feeling.

So what should you do if you find yourself in a situation like that? Should you give up or should you press on? I don't know if you're familiar with the name Pat Flynn. He's developed a reputation over the years as someone who has figured out how just about anyone can bounce back from losing a job. Pat lost his job as an architect in 2008, and since that time, he learned how to successfully build an online business that helps people pass the exam needed to become an architect, and has been laser-focused on teaching people how they can build a business based on their expertise as well. He's a great example of the benefits that come from sticking to the right path over the long-term. His consistency is truly paying off.

There is a path the Lord directs us to follow in His word. As those who trust in Jesus Christ, all aspects of our lives are intended to be impacted by Christ's saving presence within us. We're encouraged to be people who do not divert from God's path. Our fidelity to remaining on that path will be visibly demonstrated in our speech, through our eyes, and by observing which direction our feet are walking.

The Bible has much to say about how we use our words. Solomon encourages us to put crooked speech and deception far from us. Elsewhere in Scripture, we're reminded that our words can build up, tear down, communicate the gospel, instruct the unwise, convey love, speak a blessing, and voice a petition before the throne of God.

"For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." (Matthew 12:34b)

The Bible has much to say about our eyes. Solomon encourages us to be people who look directly forward. Elsewhere in Scripture, we're encouraged not to look longingly toward worldly affections, to avoid feeding the lusts of our eyes, and to fix our eyes on Christ.

The Bible has much to say about how we use our feet. Solomon encourages us to think about where we're walking, to avoid veering off path, and to turn our feet away from evil. Elsewhere in Scripture we're invited to come running to our Heavenly Father who loves us, and to venture out as missionaries who bring the good news where it hasn't yet been heard.

All of this is to be done with a forward looking faith. The way we use our speech, the content we feed our eyes, and the path our feet follow should reflect the new heart Jesus has given us. And of the examples of a forward looking faith, His is the most powerful.

"let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross," (Hebrews 12:1b-2a)

We're called to have a forward facing faith that reflects the example of Christ. Jesus was willing to endure all He experienced on this earth because He could see beyond it. As we run our race on this planet, it can be far too easy to grow weary. But if we keep our eyes on Jesus, and learn to see what He sees, our perspective can drastically change.

Jesus was looking forward to the new family He would establish, the church. Jesus was looking forward to the redemption of billions of lost lives. Jesus was looking forward to the reformation and restoration of His creation. And because He was able to see beyond His momentary pain, He endured the most excruciating form of death imagined in the mind of man.

As those who follow Christ and trust in Him completely, let's remember His example. And keeping our eyes on Him, let's continue to look forward to what He has in store for all who know and love Him.

© John Stange, 2020

The blueprint for living a long and peaceful life

When I was in seventh grade, my science teacher was talking about biological and sociological factors that tend to contribute to a lengthier life span. In the midst of teaching on that subject, he asked the class this question, "How many of you would like to live till you're 100-years-old?" Most of the class raised their hands, but I didn't.

My teacher thought that was odd, so he asked me a follow up question. "Typically, when I ask my students a question like that, they all raise their hands. Why didn't you raise yours?"

I gave a reply that was 50% honest, and 50% an attempt to look cool and rebellious in front of my peers. I answered, "Life stinks!" When I look back at what was going on in my life during that season, and when I consider some of my major influences at that time, it doesn't surprise me that I said that. But now, if I was asked that question, I would give a very different answer. I happen to enjoy life, and I'm more convinced than ever that it is a gift from God.

We don't know how many days the Lord has ordained for us on this earth. It's different for us all. But when we examine Proverbs 3:1-12, we're given a blueprint that most certainly can contribute to a long and peaceful life. The counsel we're given in these verses is priceless.

I. Remember what you were taught

"My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you." (Proverbs 3:1-2)

One of the greatest privileges I have been given is the blessing of being a father to four great children. I love them. I'm proud of them, and I'm glad I get to spend large portions of my life with them. On a daily basis, they ask me questions, and they expect answers. I have never been shy about sharing my opinions and insights with them. But here's the interesting part of that. Sometimes they accept my counsel eagerly. Other times, they reject it and venture out on their own. That's the same pattern many of us follow in life, but I'm sure most of us can testify to the fact that things tend to go better when we listen to what we were taught.

As he does in multiple portions of the book of Proverbs, Solomon writes this section like a father giving advice to his son. This approach conveys the heart of a loving father toward his child. It also gives us a glimpse of the loving heart of God the Father toward His children.

These verses set the tone for what Solomon is about to elaborate on. If we want to avoid an untimely demise, and if we want to experience a peaceful life that isn't filled with needless pain and regret, we would be wise to listen to the counsel of those who love us and have walked a mile in our shoes just one short generation ago.

And above that, we would be wise to listen to the wise counsel Jesus has given us through His teaching. In fact, Christ reveals that we are being actively helped to remember His words. The Holy Spirit intentionally and powerfully reminds us of what Jesus said to us.

“These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you.  But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you." (John 14:25-26)

II. Remain loving and faithful

"Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man." (Proverbs 3:3-4)

I'm grateful that throughout the course of our days, we have the privilege of getting to know the Lord better and better. He has revealed Himself to us, and He has historically told us more about Himself so we would understand His nature and His character.

During the days of the exodus when Moses was leading the people of Israel toward the Promised Land, the Lord revealed Himself to Moses in powerful ways. During that season, the Lord made it clear to Moses that, by nature, He was merciful, gracious, patient, loving, and faithful.

The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness," (Exodus 34:6)

Solomon was familiar with what the Lord had revealed about Himself back in the days of Moses, and as the Holy Spirit was inspiring him to write down these verses, Solomon encouraged us to reflect the heart of God by likewise remaining loving and faithful.

Through faith in Jesus, this is possible for us. When we trust in Christ, our heart is changed, our eyes are opened, and our desires are reformed. We begin to want the things that God wants, and value what he values. If we actively demonstrate the fact that we value love and faithfulness by lavishly bestowing them upon others, Solomon tells us we will find favor and success in the sight of God and man. The Father will delight to see us reflecting His heart, and others will grow to respect us because we're demonstrating the fact that we value, care for, and respect them.

III. Trust in the Lord

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.  It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." (Proverbs 3:5-8)

On most Fridays, I take my wife out to eat, then we usually take a walk together and finish the evening with ice cream. I enjoy our conversations on Friday nights because it usually involves some reminiscing. We're in our mid-40's now, so it blows my mind when I think about the fact that we started dating when we were still teenagers. Every day I get to enjoy the fruit of the choices I made when I was young.

During my teen years, I was being peppered with advice from all angles. Some of that counsel was wise, but much of that counsel was bad. I'm grateful that I started listening to the counsel the Lord gives us in His word at a young age instead of trusting my own wisdom. It has had a huge impact on the trajectory of my life, and I think that's the point. The sooner we learn to trust the Lord's wisdom above our own ideas, the better life goes.

Solomon encourages us to be people who trust in the Lord with our entire heart instead of idolizing ourselves and our own ideas. He encourages us to acknowledge the Lord as the one who is in charge of our lives so that we won't veer off course. He challenges us, as he does throughout Proverbs, to fear the Lord and turn from evil.

All that being said, there is no more peaceful way to live your life than to go through your days trusting in the Lord, just as this passage says. When hard days come, we can trust that the Lord has a purpose for the lessons we're learning. When we're troubled about all the things we can't control, we can step back and be glad that He has everything under His control. When we're tempted to start living in the past, we can look forward to the future and take solace in the fact that Christ will return just as He promised to.

In every moment, and in all circumstances, we're called to trust the Lord.

IV. Honor the LORD with your wealth

"Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine." (Proverbs 3:9-10)

What does it mean to honor the Lord with your wealth? Do you even feel wealthy? I read a statistic not too long ago that stated that if you earn more than $34,000 per year, you're wealthier than 99% percent of the people living on earth right now. And if you have just $4,210 to your name, you're wealthier than 50% of people living on earth.

I don't know how much money the Lord will entrust to you during the course of your life. It's likely there will be others who earn more than you and others who earn less. But the Lord has promised to meet our needs, and He sovereignly allows us to earn and receive what He has willed for us.

If we show that we won't worship money, but will use it to glorify Him, it seems likely from what we read in verses like this that the Lord may choose to entrust additional wealth to us. But if we don't honor Him with what He has already entrusted to us, I don't think He would be doing us much of a favor to give us even more. If we're going to turn money into an idol, the fatherly thing to do would be to hold back from giving us something that might actually draw us away from Him. So honor the Lord with whatever wealth He entrusts to your care.

V. Accept the LORD's discipline

"My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights." (Proverbs 3:11-12)

As Solomon concludes this portion of the chapter, he points us toward one additional way the Lord demonstrates His love. God shows us He loves us through disciplining us. He doesn't discipline us because He hates us. His discipline is evidence of His love.

For this reason, Solomon encourages us not to despise, resent, or grow tired of the Lord's willingness to discipline us. God's discipline is protective and redemptive in nature. He’s rescuing us from harm and leading us away from greater errors. He's showing us that He is sufficient and that our lives are being compassionately overseen by One who cares for our well-being, and isn't shy about intervening on our behalf in a corrective way.

As the Lord disciplines us, He's giving us opportunity to learn, confess, and repent. Our sin has already been paid for by Jesus. Through Christ we are set free from our bondage to it. The discipline of God is a helpful way to get the taste of sin out of our mouths. He's helping us to realize that the sweetness of sin and rebellion is nothing but spoiled and bitter fruit.

The blueprint for a long and peaceful life isn't complicated, but more people reject that blueprint than accept it. As we trust in Jesus, and live out the fruit of that trust, there will be measurable benefit in our lives. This chapter of Proverbs makes that abundantly clear.

Notes:
1. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2082385/We-1--You-need-34k-income-global-elite--half-worlds-richest-live-U-S.html
2. https://www.cnbc.com/2018/11/07/how-much-money-you-need-to-be-in-the-richest-10-percent-worldwide.html

© John Stange, 2020

If it's important to you, you'll do what you need to get it

A few months ago, my mother-in-law bought me a book. It's a book about a musician that I have always admired and respected. She knows I have a lot of books and love to read. When she gave me the book, I joked with her, "You know, it's a little dangerous to try to buy a book for me."

"Why's that?," she asked.

"Because if I really want to read something, odds are I've probably already purchased it."

We laughed about that, because we both know it's true. I have pretty simple tastes, but if something truly catches my attention, it isn't too much longer before it's in my possession. And when it comes to knowledge, if I want to know something, I'm going to do whatever it takes to learn it. I think we all demonstrate that same capacity to one degree or another. If something is genuinely important to us, we'll do whatever it takes to get it. In fact, if you take a quick moment to analyze your life, you'll see that you're already pursuing what's important to you.

Solomon elaborates on that concept in Proverbs 2. He applies that approach to the subject of the wisdom of God. If the wisdom of God is important to you, you'll call out for it. You'll eagerly pursue it. You'll give up other things in order to get it. You'll plead with the Lord to bless you with it.

So how important is godly wisdom to us? Are we doing what we need in order to get it?

I. Is the treasure you're seeking and the treasure you actually need the same thing?

"My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." (Proverbs 2:1-5)

How much of your life is being spent digging for some kind of treasure?

Sometimes I feel guilty about complaining because I know my life isn't anywhere near as difficult as the lives some of my ancestors lived. On my hardest days, I often think about my great-grandfather, Joseph Lewis, and the fact that he spent nearly every day of his adult life working in a coal mine. There were many days he didn't see sunlight because his task was to pick at veins of coal deep in the ground. And sadly, he lost his life in a cave in.

Solomon speaks of the treasure we're invited to dig for in this passage. He teaches us that we're to receive the words and wisdom of God like the great gift that they are. We're to treasure His commandments and seek to know even more about what He's communicating.

In fact, we're told to make this a matter of prayer. We're invited to call out to the Lord for the kind of supernatural insight only He can fully supply. If this becomes the pattern of our life, we'll be amazed at the good that comes from it. In the process of seeking the Lord's counsel and internalizing the wisdom He makes available to us in His word, we'll gain a deeper level of reverence for Him and we'll know Him in a full and meaningful way.

With this in mind, I love what Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:6. In that passage He says, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." The wisdom of this world cannot satisfy our hearts, but the righteousness of Christ that we receive as a gift through faith in Christ, will satisfy the longings of our soul. And with His righteousness, we likewise receive His wisdom. He who lives within us offers us His counsel.

Admittedly, I have spent multiple seasons of my life seeking after things that I mistakenly thought would satisfy that longing. Thankfully, the Lord has been showing me that He alone is sufficient. The treasure that I was seeking and the treasure I actually needed weren't the same thing. But now my heart is convinced that in Christ I find all I truly need. Jesus is the wisdom of God personified and He offers Himself to us freely.

II. God is guarding your life in multiple ways through multiple means

"For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints.  Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you, delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, who forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perverseness of evil, men whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways." (Proverbs 2:6-15)

When our kids were little, we lived in a home with a nice wooden staircase. I thought it was lovely, but it was also a little dangerous. I went sliding down that thing, unintentionally, many times in my socks. And because our house was full of people, it wasn't always practical to have a gate in place to block it. Thankfully, we had our son Jay who, even at a very young age, was always willing to stand guard and legitimately protect his younger siblings from getting too close to it or falling down that staircase.

Have you ever paused to thank God for the ways He's intentionally guarding and protecting your life? Can you see the safety measures and guide-rails He's surrounding you with to keep you from falling?

Solomon gives us a glimpse of multiple ways the Lord is guarding us. He tells us that God guards us by giving us wisdom. We receive that wisdom as the Holy Spirit speaks to our conscience, and enlightens us through His word. We're also told that the Lord is sovereignly watching over the path we take. He shields us from evil. He protects us from perverseness. He delivers us from those who want us to join them on a crooked path.

Knowing that the Lord is guarding our lives should certainly be a source of comfort and confidence for us all, but it doesn't excuse us from paying attention to the steps we take or the way we walk our walk. We have been granted the liberty to embrace His protective guidance or try to live our lives outside of those rails. This passage shows us the wisdom of embracing the framework of God's protective care.

III. There is a high degree of similarity between spiritual and marital adultery

"So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; for her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed; none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life." (Proverbs 2:16-19)

I once heard a man state that when he was a child, his grandmother didn't want him to read some of the things Solomon wrote in the Bible, particularly when he brought up subjects like adultery and other issues related to marriage and intimacy. She told him he should wait until he was older to read them.

I do find it rather interesting how frequently subjects like adultery and unfaithfulness come up in Scripture. The history of humanity shows us that this is one of the primary areas of temptation we struggle with. In fact, when you take a look at the lives of leaders who eventually disqualify themselves in leadership, it frequently comes back to either their misuse of money or their lack of integrity in regard to sexual ethics.

And while infidelity within a marriage is certainly a big deal, there's a realm of unfaithfulness that the Lord often speaks about in the same manner. You may or may not have been unfaithful to your spouse, but all of us have struggled to be faithful to God. This has been the struggle of humanity from our earliest days. It was because of our willingness to sever our relationship with God and live unfaithfully that the Father sent us Jesus. Our relationship with the Lord needs to be restored and reconciled, and that's only accomplished through Christ.

"You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." (James 4:4)

When we examine Solomon's words in Proverbs 2, he shows us that giving in to the temptation to be unfaithful only leads to ruin. Marital adultery and spiritual adultery both seem enticing and tempting in the moment, but they both lead to ruin and regret in the end. Solomon's words are strong counsel to us, "for her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed."

IV. Build your life on a foundation of faith, righteousness, and integrity

"So you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will inhabit the land, and those with integrity will remain in it, but the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the treacherous will be rooted out of it." (Proverbs 2:20-22)

I'm grateful that through Christ, we don't need to remain on the path of unrighteousness and death. In Christ, we receive life. In Christ, we're made upright, and we're given an inheritance in the kingdom of God. As Solomon says, "the upright will inhabit the land, and those with integrity will remain in it." The wicked who persist in their unbelief are cut off from the eternal goodness of God, but those who have faith in Christ will enjoy a secure inheritance in His presence forever.

This passage forces me to ask the question, "On what foundation am I building my life?" When you look at the example that's being held out for us to emulate, we're shown a person who chooses to build their life on a foundation of faith, righteousness, and integrity. As they trust in the Lord and receive His wisdom, they're shown that this is the right foundation to lay.

But some people build their lives on something much shakier. I won't use names, but I recently read an article about an influential person who is now deceased. During the course of his life, his public persona gave off the impression that he was a man of character, but since his death, it's starting to become clear that he may have been leading a double life. It drives me crazy when I learn of stories like that, but it's so common and we need to admit that we could easily find ourselves making the same mistake if we attempt to build our lives on a worldly or wicked foundation.

Is your life being built on the foundation of Jesus Christ who will foster faith, righteousness, and integrity, or are you living a double life, built on a shaky foundation that's bound to eventually crumble?

The wisdom and righteousness of Christ matters. It's of greater value than the treasures this world tries to convince us to value. If what Christ offers you is valuable to you, you'll do what you need to do to get it. Are you calling out to Him for it? How badly do you want the wisdom He offers? How intensely do you want Him to guide, direct, and protect your life?

© John Stange, 2020

Don't allow yourself to be easily led astray

The book of Proverbs is one of the best loved books of Scripture.

What is the purpose of the book of Proverbs? The book of Proverbs is a fascinating book. It was written to impart godly wisdom to us, but that wisdom can only be fully understood and appreciated when it's coupled with genuine faith in the Lord. If we read its pages, and implement what we read, we'll be spared from making all kinds of unforced errors. We'll also get ahead in many meaningful ways in a shorter period of time by incorporating this wisdom into our life.

Who wrote it? The primary person who wrote the book of Proverbs was King Solomon. Solomon was king of Israel in about 900 B.C. and he was granted great wisdom by the Lord. He also compiled the wise words of other individuals and included them in this collection. This collection of divinely inspired wisdom was a great gift to the people of Solomon's day, but it's also a great gift to us as well. We would do well to heed the counsel contained in this collection of verses.

Topics in Proverbs: Every major topic of life is referenced in the book of Proverbs. Solomon speaks about the nature of our relationship with God. He also speaks about things like; our behaviors, our character, our motivation, financial wealth, relationships, ethics, and the process of raising children.

As we examine some of the wise subjects addressed in Proverbs, we're going to learn more about walking in the wisdom of God and what it looks like to grow in godliness, avoid costly mistakes, and get ahead in life.

I. Are you positioned to welcome or resist wisdom and instruction?

Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:5-7)

One of my favorite pictures of my daughter Julia was taken at Core Creek Park in Langhorne, PA when she was a little less than 3-years-old. Andrea and I had taken the kids to the park to run around and play in the fields. We also brought along a small football that our sons liked to throw around when they were small. I offered to throw the ball to Julia as well and she cautiously agreed. As she did so, she put her hands out in front of her, squinted her eyes, and nervously waited for the ball to come crashing into her arms. She made herself ready to receive it in anticipation of its arrival.

Is it your belief that the Lord wants to bless you with His wisdom? Are you ready to receive it? Are you positioned to welcome it, or is your back still turned toward it?

As Solomon begins this collection of wise counsel, he shows us how to be ready to receive it. He invites the wise to hear and increase their learning. He encourages the understanding among us to get ready to obtain additional guidance. Then he draws a stark line between those who are in a posture to receive divine truth and those who turn their backs to wisdom.

Solomon is very careful to say that a person can only experience the true fullness of wisdom if they respect the Lord who is the source of wisdom. If we have genuine faith in the Lord and our hearts truly revere Him, we're positioned to hear His counsel and drink it in deeply. But fools despise godly wisdom and turn their backs to wisdom's source.

I don't believe we should use the words "fool" or "idiot" casually. For the most part, I have attempted to weed those words out of my vocabulary unless I'm using them in their proper context. A true fool, like Solomon references in Proverbs 1:7, is a faithless person. A fool utterly rejects the Lord and lives as if the Lord doesn't exist. I have chosen to stop using that term casually because it isn't a term that's meant to be taken lightly. It's a term that should be reserved for someone who lives in the arrogance of unbelief.

What side of that line are you living on? Are you positioned to welcome or resist the wisdom of God? When you look at the full counsel of Scripture, we're shown that we'll never touch the depths of wisdom until we come to a place of genuine faith in the Son of God, Jesus Christ. Jesus is the wisdom of God personified. Jesus is greater than Solomon. He is the one who created Solomon and the world Solomon occupied.

"And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God,  righteousness and sanctification and redemption," (1 Corinthians 1:30)

"The queen of the South will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold, something greater than Solomon is here." (Matthew 12:42)

II. The company you keep will lift you up or tear you down

Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.  My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.  If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood; let us ambush the innocent without reason; like Sheol let us swallow them alive, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; we shall find all precious goods, we shall fill our houses with plunder; throw in your lot among us; we will all have one purse” (Proverbs 1:8-14)

When possible, I try to grab lunch with some of the men I'm friends with in our church and in our community. It's a good way to connect, and sometimes it can provide a great opportunity for leadership development and discipleship.

Years ago, I used to carve out time to meet with someone, but I eventually had to stop. I noticed that every conversation eventually transitioned into what he disliked about other people. Then when he ran out of other people to cut down, he would "do me the favor" of telling me all the things he didn't really like about me. In his words, he was just trying to be "helpful," but I can't remember a single time I left one of those lunches feeling anything but discouraged by his demeaning negativity. Eventually, I decided it would be best to stop meeting for lunch because the company you keep will either lift you up or tear you down, and he was really good at tearing me down.

Solomon references that same concept in Proverbs 1:8-14, and I think it's particularly interesting that he mentions this in the very first chapter of this book. It's as if he's trying to tell us that the company we keep is such an important concept to understand that it will deeply impact our openness to receive and apply wisdom depending on who we're surrounding ourselves with. Some of the best people to surround yourself with are your parents.

Solomon encourages us to be people who take counsel from our parents. The Lord has given us our parents as a gift. They have lived through every season we're presently living through, and heeding their counsel can save us from many needless mistakes and regrets.

Isn't it comical how all of us at one point of another have probably convinced ourselves that we knew more than our parents? Practically speaking, that doesn't make any sense. People don't tend to get dumber the longer they live. As they accumulate experiences, relationships, and endure hardships, they tend to grow in wisdom as well. And if they know and love Jesus, that wisdom is also coupled with faith. What sense does it make to reject their wisdom when they offer it to us? Only the arrogant reject godly counsel when it's freely offered to them.

That counsel can stick in our thinking long after our parents are even living. Just the other day, my father told me that he was so tired on Sunday morning and didn't want to get up for church, but he could still hear my grandmother's voice in his mind saying, "The Lord gives you 168 hours every week. Is it too much for you to give Him one of those back?" So, even though my grandmother is presently in Heaven, the memory of her counsel still gets him out of bed for church on Sundays. She spent her life building her children up.

But as we've already said, not everyone in your life wants to build you up. Plenty of people will extend an invitation to you to join them in whatever mess they've immersed themselves in. Don't take that invitation. It's much easier to be dragged down than to be lifted up.

Solomon shares an example of companions who give counsel that is contrary to the advice given by godly parents. He speaks of men who try to entice someone to join them in ambushing an unsuspecting person. He speaks of those who attempt to entice you with worldliness, and he encourages us not to consent to their allure.

Who thinks so little of your well-being that they're willing to drag you down? Don't go in the direction they're trying to take you. Who loves you enough to lift you up? Walk with them, take their counsel, and make the point to give each other a regular glimpse of the heart of Christ.

III. You'll never get ahead by stealing someone else's blessings

“my son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths, for their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood. For in vain is a net spread in the sight of any bird, but these men lie in wait for their own blood; they set an ambush for their own lives. Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain; it takes away the life of its possessors.” (Proverbs 1:15-19)

As Solomon describes those who attempt to ambush and rob an unsuspecting person, he reveals the outcome of that manner of living. Those who live this way will eventually find themselves ensnared by the traps they set for others. Their attempts to damage and destroy other people will only leave them damaged and destroyed.

I was thinking about his recently when I read a story about two well-educated, but young lawyers who decided to participate in several criminal acts. One threw a fire bomb into a police car, but her actions were caught on video. I couldn't help but think about the fact that she spent many years and lots of money in preparation for a lucrative career, then threw it all away by attempting to harm someone else.

How does a person really get ahead in life? I think that question will be answered for us through many of the examples we're given in the book of Proverbs, but even before we fully grasp that answer, I think this passage makes it clear that we won't be getting ahead by trying to steal someone else's blessings. Coveting another persons gifts, talents, and treasures will only leave you feeling jealous and empty. It's much better to celebrate another person's blessings than it is to condemn them for receiving them.

When we fail to celebrate the blessings someone else has received, we're also showing that deep down we're dissatisfied with the blessings we've been given. It's like saying to the Lord, "I realize you've been good to me, but you could have done better than this. You obviously must not have my best interests at heart." But Christ truly does have our best interests in mind when He allows us to receive and enjoy what we're entrusted with.

"Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good." (1 Corinthians 12:4-7)

Throughout the course of your life, you're going to encounter many different influences. Some will attempt to build you up. Some will try to tear you down. Some will point you to Christ, and some will try to convince you that your heart can find contentment apart from Him. Ask the Lord to help you filter these influences so you aren't easily led astray from a sincere walk with Christ. Trust the Lord. Revere Him, and allow the healthy respect you have for His power to form the foundation of the wisdom your life is being built upon.

© John Stange, 2020