There's a season of life when we we're more prone to resist counsel than we are to receive it. For many of us, that season tends to be earlier in life, but for some of us, that season has fallen somewhere in-between or even later on.
A life that hardens itself to godly counsel is a life that tends to become needlessly difficult. When pride gets in the way of us heeding an outside perspective, we're setting ourselves up for a considerable amount of pain and brokenness.
But admittedly, there are benefits we can experience from being broken. As our pride is stripped away and our arrogance is shown to be useless, we can develop teachable hearts. And the beauty of the gospel is that Jesus delights to heal broken people. Frequently, He does us the favor of allowing us to experience a season of brokenness to remind us that running from Him produces unwanted pain.
As we prepare to look at portions of Proverbs 29, we're going to be shown some key things that demonstrate how we end up broken, but we're also going to be shown how we can emerge from our brokenness with greater wisdom and poise that demonstrates the presence of Christ in our lives.
I. Here's how you get broken
He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck,
will suddenly be broken beyond healing.
3 He who loves wisdom makes his father glad,
but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. (Proverbs 29:1-3)
Ignoring verbal help produces physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual pain. We've all done it, and hopefully, we've also bounced back from it, but Solomon shows us that it can persist so long and go so far that it sometimes leaves permanent scars.
The picture that's being painted for us here is a picture of someone who is regularly offered good counsel, but because it doesn't fit with what they want to hear, they reject it. They stiffen their neck against it instead of bowing their head to accept it. Their persistence in this direction will eventually lead to brokenness, and as much as you might want to save them from the consequences of their decisions, you can't always do it.
Frequently, if a person takes a stiff-necked posture toward the help they're being offered, they will also waste the blessings they've been given. Solomon tells us that a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. They waste the blessings they've been given, and they cost those who are attempting to bless them.
This comment reminds me of the parable Jesus told in Luke 15, a parable we often refer to as the Parable of the Prodigal Son.
And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. (Luke 15:11-13)
If we don't see the value in the counsel we're being offered, we'll ignore it. If we don't appreciate the price that was paid to bless us, we'll waste the blessings we've been given. That's exactly what the son in Luke 15 did, and I suspect we can all think of times in our life when we've done the exact same thing, or something really close to it.
How often have you stiffened your neck to godly reproof?
How often have you squandered your blessings?
How long did it take for you to come to a place of repentance?
Giving yourself over to the temptations of this world will cost you and those who have invested themselves in you. Giving your mind over to the counsel of this world, and giving your heart over to the values of this world will eventually leave you broken. But will you listen if someone tries to keep you from journeying down that path? Some do. Many don't.
II. An un-snared heart learns to sing
A man who flatters his neighbor
spreads a net for his feet.
An evil man is ensnared in his transgression,
but a righteous man sings and rejoices. (Proverbs 29:5-6)
For the past few Springs, I have had a small problem in front of my house. Right by my front door, there's a post that holds up the roof to the front porch, and apparently, that post looks delicious to carpenter bees. Last year, I paid an exterminator to come and take care of the problem, but unfortunately, nothing was solved. So I bought a simple trap with small holes in it that supposedly works to get the attention of carpenter bees and capture them. Guess what? It worked perfectly. As far as I can tell, it trapped every bee and stopped them from damaging my porch.
Trapping household pets has a practical purpose, but being trapped or ensnared isn't an enjoyable experience for us as people. What does it take for something to ensnare us?
Usually a trap or a snare will play off one of our dominant areas of temptation. It will appeal to the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes, or the boastful pride of life as the Apostle John mentions in the book of 1 John.
"For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world." (1 John 2:16)
I don't want to be trapped or ensnared by worldly things, and I suspect you don't either. Solomon describes men who are trapped by their flattery or trapped by their transgressions in Proverbs 29:5-6, but as followers of Christ, that doesn't need to be us. Becoming ensnared by the things of this world robs us of the opportunity to fully enjoy the blessing of an unencumbered relationship with Christ. It's robs us of the daily experience of walking in the freedom and liberty Jesus has granted us. It also robs us of our motivation to sing with an unburdened heart.
Solomon tells us that a righteous man sings and rejoices. I like picturing that in my mind. It gives me a mental image of someone whose heart is light and cheery. Someone who is fully delighting in the presence of Christ in their life. Someone who isn't weighed down with the constant troubles and panic of this world.
When I was a child, I could always tell if something was bothering my mother based on her singing. She seemed to know the words to every song on the radio and would usually sing without hesitation when we were driving in the car, but then she went through a difficult stretch when her heart was burdened with many things, and the singing stopped. That stood out to me, and I always noticed when she sang and when she didn't.
In my father's grocery store, there was an older man named Dominic who sliced meat in the deli department. As a kid, I enjoyed interacting with him, but my favorite aspect of working with him was the fact that he turned everyone's deli order into a song. We would frequently wait with excitement to see what kind of creative musical interpretation or song parody he would come up with after people placed their orders for meat or cheese.
Which do you want, a heart that's ensnared with the things of this world or an unburdened heart that expresses the joy of Christ through song?
III. Those who appreciate healing seek to promote it
Scoffers set a city aflame,
but the wise turn away wrath.
If a wise man has an argument with a fool,
the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.
A fool gives full vent to his spirit,
but a wise man quietly holds it back. (Proverbs 29:8-9, 11)
I think we can become very useful to the Lord and His mission to rescue lost humanity after we've gone through a season of brokenness. If you've bounced back from brokenness, you've seen both sides of life. You know what it's like to be low, and you know what it's like to be lifted up. You know what led you to the depths of despair, and you know what pulled you out.
The only hope we have in this world is Jesus. He takes the broken and mends us. His Spirit transforms our thinking and grants us the clarity to operate with a new, healthy perspective toward life in this world. As our faith develops and matures, we begin to see that the approach to life that we used to take doesn't work any longer. That old approach was steeped in worldly thinking. Our new approach is seasoned with the flavor of eternal life.
Worldly perspectives divide and tear down. Solomon explains that cities burn because of ungodly perspectives. He also shows us that arguments persist and anger gets vented in heated and unhealthy ways when the values of this world dominate and control our minds. But those who have been down that road and then were healed by Jesus, seek to promote the kind of healing He offers. Frequently, that healing is fostered through words.
Have you ever heard the phrase, "You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to?" I think that's a pretty good summary of what Solomon was attempting to teach in these proverbs. You don't have to argue with a fool. You don't have to take the bait of the scoffer. You don't have to vent every time you're provoked. Rather, you can practice quiet restraint as you yield your spirit to the control of the Holy Spirit. He will guide and direct your response.
This helped me recently. Not long ago, a friend gave my son several large pieces of woodworking equipment. In order to pick them up, we needed to rent a moving truck. I reserved the truck online and declined paying for additional insurance because I didn't need it. When we arrived to pick the truck up, the man running the counter insisted that we pay the fee for additional insurance and he attempted to argue with me about it. I told him we didn't need it, but he wouldn't let us take the truck without it. So, instead of losing my cool, I reasoned with myself that this man was aggressively irrational and I'd be able to clear this up later by calling customer service. I didn't argue with him, I just made a call. The charge was refunded and their main office apologized to me.
In this world, there will be many opportunities for you to be provoked. If you accept the provocation, you'll regret it. If you reject the counsel of those who love you, you'll regret it. But if you've experienced what it's like to be broken by this world, then mended by Jesus, you'll welcome the power of the Holy Spirit to guide your temperament and give you a powerful testimony of Christ-centered faith and wisdom that you can use to be a blessing to a very confused planet.
© John Stange, 2021
