The book of Proverbs is filled with practical wisdom regarding every major category of life. In this book, we're taught about the importance of trusting in the Lord, living a godly life, demonstrating honesty and integrity, practicing good financial stewardship, and filtering out the influence of anyone who attempts to steer us in an ungodly direction.
Early in the book, we're also given vivid examples that relate to women, specifically the kind of women we should not allow to gain a foothold in our lives. But now, the book culminates with an example of the kind of woman that everyone can look to as an example of godliness and wise living. The words of this proverb were first taught to King Lemuel by his mother. We know nothing else about either of them, but the Holy Spirit has been using these words for centuries to steer both women and men in a godly direction.
So, what does this proverb teach us about the life and character of a truly godly woman?
I. She can be trusted
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12)
One of the things that I appreciate most about the Lord is that everything He says is true. Scripture teaches us that it is impossible for God to lie (Heb. 6:18), so if we claim to be followers of Christ who are indwelled with the Holy Spirit, we too should reflect the truthful heart of God.
The honest and trustworthy heart of God is clearly reflected in the life of a godly woman. This Scripture describes her as excellent and precious. Her husband is able to trust her completely. He doesn't have to worry about what she's doing, who she's with, what she's spending, or what she's saying. His heart can be at rest knowing that his wife's heart is in alignment with the trustworthy heart of Christ.
I recently learned of a husband who has a trustworthy wife, but he refuses to trust her. He experienced some relational damage in the past, before he even knew her, and now he transposes that pain onto his wife and treats her with distrust due to his past trauma. In essence, he's robbing himself of experiencing the blessing the Lord has graciously given him.
When you get married, you're taking a risk to trust someone else. You can't control what they do or what they don't do with your trust, but you can choose to be trustworthy in your interactions with them. As Christ can be trusted, and as the godly woman in this proverb demonstrated trustworthiness, so too should we display trustworthiness and integrity toward one another.
II. She isn't afraid of work
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. (Proverbs 31:13-16)
If you ever want to see my wife smile and then immediately roll her eyes, ask her to tell you about all the painting projects I have asked her to help me with over the course of the past few decades. Between houses we lived in and ministries we led, a significant amount of painting was needed. One of our children even told us recently that the smell of paint is the primary smell that reminds her of her childhood. I'm grateful for the work-ethic of my wife.
That's something we also see demonstrated in Proverbs 31. The godly woman in this passage is spoken of as a woman who works with willing hands. She makes great use of materials and tools. She rises early to feed her family and those under her oversight. She is even described as being a shrewd businessperson as she transacts in land purchases.
There is a certain sense of dignity in hard work. We don't work to somehow earn the Lord's favor, but the work we do can be done for His glory as an investment in the greater work of His kingdom. I see that mindset at work in the labors of the godly woman described in this proverb.
III. She carries herself with poise and dignity
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle. (Proverbs 31:17-19)
Have you ever met someone in person that wasn't anything like how you perceived them to be from a distance? Earlier this year, I met someone that I've known for a while, but I had never actually met her in person. From a distance, she seemed serious and mature. In person, I was left with the exact opposite impression.
A godly woman isn't clothed with immaturity. She's dressed with strength. She demonstrates poise and dignity. She's the type of person that exceeds the impression you had when you only knew her at a distance.
IV. She proactively meets the needs of others
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple. (Proverbs 31:20-22)
The other day, I read a story of a younger child that started saving up the money she earned from completing household chores. Once she saved a specific amount, she asked her mother to take her to the store so she could buy water bottles, individual size bags of chips, and a few other snacks. Then she asked her mother to take her to an area park where the homeless frequently set up camp, and she gave away the water and snacks until she ran out.
A godly woman demonstrates that kind of heart. It's a heart of compassion. It's the heart of Christ. As Christ has lovingly looked at us with compassion during our season of need, then took action to meet our needs on the deepest level, so too does a woman who lives a godly life. She opens her hands to the poor. She generously shares what she has with those who are in need. Her heart is motivated by Christ to be the hands and feet of Christ to those who need a gift of grace.
I also like how this portion of Scripture tells us that she doesn't need to fear for the well-being of her household because she knows their needs have been proactively met. It can snow, but that's OK because they're all properly clothed. Her care and provision for those she loves allows them to rest, much like what we experience when we learn to trust the Lord to meet our needs. In Christ, we find rest because He has graciously and proactively given us all we need for life and godliness.
"By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence." (2 Peter 1:3, NLT)
V. She makes you look good to your peers
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come. (Proverbs 31:23-25)
When I was in college, I worked during the semesters and I worked during the summer. The nature of my summer work usually involved working for camping ministries, but the location sometimes changed. I remember one particular summer, just before my senior year, when I was offered the program director position at the camp my wife attended and worked at. They didn't know me very well, but they knew her, and they figured if she was willing to date me, that was a sufficient endorsement. I was literally offered a senior staff position because they thought so well of my wife. Her reputation made me look good.
We see that same concept at work in Proverbs 31. We're told that the husband of the godly woman was known at the gates when he would sit among the elders. That was a position of respect and esteem. At the gates, the elders would make decisions and judgments on behalf of others. To be welcomed among them meant that you were respected by them. A major contributor to a man experiencing that kind of respect in that generation, and in ours, is the godly character of his wife. She reflects the heart of Christ so clearly that she makes anyone she's willing to associate herself with look better than they ever could have on their own.
VI. She generously shares her wisdom
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:26)
One of the wisest women I have ever had the privilege to know was my grandmother. There are so many things that I learned from her that I implement in my day-to-day life and gladly pass down to my children. She loved Jesus, loved her family, and wanted to see the generations that came from her do well and succeed.
This is yet another mark of a godly woman. When she opens her mouth, she speaks with wisdom. Kind words flow forth from her tongue. As one who is conscious of the love of Christ, she breathes out the grace of Christ with the words she speaks.
VII. Those who love her speak well of her
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:27-31)
Recently, two friends of mine did me a nice favor that certainly met with my wife's approval. They messaged my wife to tell her some of the nice things I had said about her when I was in their presence. I thought that was nice, and I meant every word of it. I don't know why it stood out to them, but it must have made an impression since they decided to repeat it.
And even though as followers of Christ we live to give Him praise, it shouldn't surprise any woman who devotes her life to following Christ, blessing others, and serving people in His name, when she ends up receiving praise and appreciation from those she's been serving. The Scripture tells us that her children rise up and speak well of her, and her husband does the same because a woman "who fears the Lord is to be praised."
I'm sincerely grateful for the godly women the Lord has blessed me with the privilege of knowing throughout the course of my life. That list certainly includes my grandmothers, mother, wife, and daughters. It also includes many godly women in our church family and in my home church who have taught me directly about Jesus and given me a glimpse of His heart through their words, action, and character.
Never underestimate the kind of impact Jesus can make on the lives of others through your life if you choose to fully surrender it to Him. Prepare to be amazed. Let Him make you a portrait of godliness.
© John Stange, 2021
