Today, I had the privilege to spend my afternoon with a woman that knows she's about to die. Some people assume that might be the most difficult aspect of my role as a pastor, but it isn't. I consider it a privilege to spend time together with people going through this experience. It's a unique opportunity to have deeper level conversations while attempting to offer encouragement and comfort.
When I arrived at her house, her husband greeted me and brought me inside. I sat down with both of them and we talked about a variety of things including our families and our favorite desserts. Then he said, "I'm going to step out for a little while because I know my wife has a few things she'd like to talk about with you."
When he stepped out, I asked her, "How are you holding up? You seem strong today." She said, "I have good days and bad days. I do feel strong, but when people ask me if cancer hurts, I have to tell them that it definitely does."
She told me that she feels blessed to have lived the life she's lived, but she also feels ready to go. She's grateful for her family and for the experiences the Lord has blessed her with. There are a few things on her list that she would have liked to do, but she also admitted that those experiences weren't possible now. She didn't seem too upset about that though.
But then we got to the crux of the conversation. She wanted some assurance of what to expect next. What would she see when she came face-to-face with the Lord? Would He "walk with her on this last mile of her journey?"
She said, "There's something still troubling me. I keep wondering if there's something the Lord wants me to do that I haven't done yet." When I asked her to clarify what she meant, she confirmed that the thought that she still had unfinished work was robbing her of some peace.
What would you say to someone nearing death if they said that to you?
At the end of our days, and in all the years we're privileged to live, our true hope is the gospel. If our hope is anchored in the work of our hands or our ability to get everything right, we're going to be disappointed and our hearts won't find rest.
My encouragement to her is the same message I regularly preach to myself. Eternal life, and present day peace, isn't tied to the work that I do or don't do. Rather, my mind needs to continually come back to the work Jesus has done on my behalf.
Jesus lived the perfect life that I wasn't capable of living. Jesus died in my place to pay the spiritual consequences for my sin. Jesus rose from the grave to defeat the power of death. And in response, He invites me to trust in Him and find rest in the work He's already accomplished on my behalf. When I learn to trust Him, and rest in the work He's already done, my heart finds peace.
As I shared this, I can tell it made a difference. She said, "It seems to me that instead of worrying about what I may or may not have done, I need to come before the Lord in prayer and thank Him for what He's already done for me. I think this is something I'm going to need to remind myself of regularly in the coming days. This is going to help me find a greater sense of peace."
Where are you trying to find a sense of peace? Is your sense of peace connected to what you're trying to accomplish, or what Christ has already done?
You can learn a lot by talking with someone who is nearing the end of their earthly days. The things that really matter become much clearer, and the conversations pack a lot more meaning.
What else do I need to do?
Simply believe. Trust in Jesus who has already done the work for you.
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"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit," (1 Peter 3:18, ESV)
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 6:23, CSB)
© John Stange, 2021
