In my immaturity, I used to think that the goal of life was to make it through mistake-free. I have since learned that isn't possible, nor is it healthy to make that your aim. It produces a form of legalism that can result in unhealthy self-reliance and the inability to process mistakes or outright acts of rebellion when they occur in your life. And when you can't process those things in a healthy way, you will drift toward shame and despair.
Without a doubt, you can point to the worst decision you've ever made. Everyone has one. At some point during the course of your life, you hit your low point. You crossed a line that you never thought you'd cross. You may have even done something that you used to castigate others for doing.
As a follower of Christ, how should you process those mistakes? What should you do if you find yourself in the midst of your biggest sin, mistake, or act of rebellion toward God? And what should you do if someone loves you enough to point it out to you even before you are willing to admit it to yourself?
In 2 Samuel 11-12, we read about David's mistakes and the fallout that resulted from them. Generally speaking, David was a godly man. He loved the Lord, sought to honor the Lord with his life, modeled what it was like to worship the Lord, and encouraged the people of Israel to do the same.
At the same time, David was a man with an obvious weakness for women. And if we're being frank, I think just about every man I've ever met has that same weakness. We just haven't had our biographies printed in the best-selling book of all time as David did.
David caught a glimpse of Bathsheba bathing on a rooftop. His sinful heart longed to take her as his own, even though she was the wife of another man. He committed adultery with her anyway, impregnated her, attempted to disguise his indiscretion, and arranged for Bathsheba's husband Uriah to be unfairly executed in battle. For a time, he thought he had gotten away with it too, until the prophet Nathan was sent to David and confronted him about it all. God revealed David's hidden sins and Nathan addressed these hidden acts head-on.
If you were David, what would you have done? Would you have attempted to deny it? Would you have tried to kill the messenger? Would you have confessed your hidden sins and repented of them? By God's grace, David confessed and repented after being confronted. And under the Holy Spirit's inspiration, David wrote Psalm 51 to express his thankfulness to God for the healing and restoration he experienced, and to aid us in our times of confession, repentance, and restoration.
So what can we do when our sin is exposed and we can't bear the weight of it any longer? What can we do if we desire to experience restored fellowship with our Lord after embracing wickedness?
I. Seek God's mercy
““Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!””
There are many people who never seek God's mercy, largely because they don't actually believe they need it. But without the mercy of God, we would be doomed to eternal condemnation. Through faith in Jesus Christ, we become objects of mercy where we once were considered objects of God's wrath.
David was well aware of the fact that he messed up. He knew he deserved judgment and condemnation. He knew that he had no other hope than to seek the mercy of God in the midst of his sin. So he offered up a prayer for mercy. He clung to his knowledge of the unfailing love of God when he made his plea and humbly asked the Lord to blot out his sins like a stain being removed from a garment and cleanse him so he could be restored.
What a relief it must have been for him to come to this point. Many people spend their lives carrying a weight of regret around with them everywhere they go. The reminders of their sins are too much for their minds and hearts to bear, and that heaviness eventually affects all other areas of their lives. Their relationships suffer. Their drive and sense of confidence are diminished as well. Yet the solution was staring them in the face the whole time.
Don't carry a weight that's always been too heavy for you to bear. Seek God's mercy and hand your regrets over to Him. Jesus bore the weight of your sin upon Himself at the cross. Receive the gift of His mercy and find relief from the burden you're bearing.
II. Admit your sin
““For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.” ”
My friend Lorenzo was once asked by his aunt to do her a favor when he was about ten years old. She asked him to bring some glassware she had borrowed from his grandmother back to her house. The glassware was packed carefully in a bag, and he walked that bag from his aunt's home to his grandmother's house. Along the way, he took an aggressive step off the sidewalk, and the second he did that, he could hear the sound of glass breaking in the bag.
The glassware was old and sentimental to his grandmother. As a boy, he probably shouldn't have been asked to transport it, but regardless, he knew it was damaged and his grandmother was going to be upset. He thought about hiding what he had done, but realized there wasn't any way he could really get away with doing that, so when he arrived at her house, he handed her the bag and confessed that he had broken the glassware. He felt bad about his mistake, but there was never a doubt in his mind that his grandmother loved him.
Admitting our sin to God is somewhat similar to Lorenzo's experience. We will be tempted to hide it, but nothing can be hidden from Him, so we might as well admit what we've done and call it out into the light. Amazingly, His love for us never changes even in the midst of our darkest moments.
David had been thinking about his sin for a long time at this point. It was something that had been eating him up, but now he was willing to admit that he had sinned against the Lord and that he understood that by nature, this was an ongoing struggle in his life.
Our best option when our sin becomes clear to us is to admit it. It's pointless to attempt to hide it. And when we admit it, remember that we're confessing it to One who loves us.
III. Find joy again
““Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.””
Have you ever met someone who seemed to exist in a perpetually downcast state? I remember observing that tendency in certain adults when I was still in high school and an older friend told me, "There's a good reason for that." I never asked her why she thought there was a good reason for seeming continually down, but I did reply, "I don't care what their reasons are. I just hope I don't find myself doing the same thing when I'm at their season of life."
As I've aged, my opinions are slightly more nuanced, but I can say that I think I know one reason some people seem continually down. I think they don't understand what joy is or where it can be found. David prayed, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation." Real joy can only be found in a state of surrender and complete trust in the goodness of God. If my life isn't surrendered to Him, I'll find myself in a state of internal conflict and that doesn't produce joy. If I refuse to trust that He is good, I'll question every test or trial that comes my way and blame God for the outcomes that differ from my preferences or expectations.
God delights in restoration. He enjoys restoring the lost and hurting. David confessed that in the midst of his struggles, he entertained thoughts of God casting him away from His presence or removing the anointing of the Holy Spirit from upon him. He may have wondered about these things after observing what happened in King Saul's life, and how the kingdom was eventually taken away from him.
I'm grateful that we can testify that the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit is a permanent reality for those who have been redeemed and restored through Jesus Christ. The Spirit who remains present in your life will counsel you and comfort you. He will point you in the direction of the truth and will help you find joy in Christ again if that's something you've been losing sight of.
IV. Tell someone what God has done for you
““Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.””
I often joke with my family that when I like something or get excited about something, I can't help telling everyone I know about it. It seems like David must have had the same propensity. He was a man of many words, and he was eager to tell others what the Lord had done for him.
David spoke of teaching others who were caught in sin the ways of God so they too could return to Him. He sang of God's righteousness as he contemplated his own deliverance. He declared God's praise because the Lord had been abundantly good to him.
Our Lord seeks the same response from our mouths. If you're convinced He's been good to you. tell someone about it.
V. Understand what God really wants from you
““For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem; then will you delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.” ”
During the Old Testament era, God put a temporary sacrificial system in place. It was a temporary solution that pointed to the ultimate solution. The only blood sacrifice that could truly atone for the sin of man was the sacrificial death of Jesus on the cross whose blood was spilled to pay for our transgressions.
Even though David was living during the era of animal sacrifice, he understood that God was looking for something much deeper that the spilled blood of an animal. That was never meant to be a permanent solution for our deepest problems.
As the Holy Spirit gave David the words to pen in this Psalm, He inspired him to express that what God really wants from us is a heart that's open to His intervention and presence. David said, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." God wanted this from David, and He wants it from us as well.
I don't know if it feels safe or if it feels dangerous for you to pour out your heart to God in confession and repentance, but I can assure you that's exactly what He wants you to do. Jesus didn't come to this earth for us to continue to bear the burden of our sin. He came to take it upon Himself so we could experience true joy and true liberty.
If your heart is heavy today, please open it to Jesus. Unload whatever is weighing you down, and accept the work of restoration and renewal He wants to do within you.
© John Stange, 2023
