What is the cure for perfectionism?

Are you a perfectionist? Do you ever struggle with that perspective? Are you trying to get everything right, perform at the highest level, and make it through life mistake free?

A few years ago, I had a really deep conversation with a member of our family who struggles with perfectionism. I felt compassion for her immediately because this is something I have often struggled with as well. As she shared her story and struggles with me, she also revealed one of the biggest downsides to perfectionism and I'll explain it to you right now.

If you're trying to be perfect in your own strength, and think that somehow perfectionism can be obtained prior to your glorification in Christ's presence, you're not going to know what to do when you make a mistake or mess something up. You're either going to attempt to deny to yourself that it happened at all, or you're going to struggle with such a heavy load of shame that you'll end up running away and trying to hide from those who love you most, including the Lord.

If your sense of shame is allowed to persist for an abnormally long period of time, it runs the risk of driving you crazy. Your personality will change, your relationships will be damaged, you may even start to hate yourself and then gravitate toward unhealthy solutions to medicate your pain or dull your memory.

But that doesn't need to be the approach you take to shame. You don't need to continue to preach an unbiblical message of perfectionism to your heart. In fact, there's a completely different approach you can take toward every struggle or bad decision you've ever made. Instead of living with a sense of shame over your poor choices, you can confess them to the Lord and accept the fact that the payment Jesus made for your sin truly was sufficient to cover it.

If you're struggling with perfectionism and the shame that goes with it, that tells me a lot about a false gospel you've been unknowingly preaching to your heart. You've been mistakenly allowing yourself to believe that you need to somehow become the perfect sacrifice to atone for your sin, so you keep beating yourself up in the hopes of accomplishing that. But it won't work. If that could possibly work, there would have been no need for Jesus to come to this earth to become the perfect sacrifice for sin. If there was a way for us to permanently take care of the problem of our sinfulness, Jesus wouldn't have needed to do what He did because His sacrifice would have been redundant and unnecessary.

But since we couldn't permanently atone for our sin, Jesus did it for us. He is the once-for-all sacrifice for the sin of mankind. That's what the writer of Hebrews made a point to explain in Hebrews 10:1-14.

If you've ever taken the opportunity to read through the Old Testament, it's probably occurred to you that many of the religious practices of that era were quite different from what we presently practice. During the days of the Old Testament, it was common to make various sacrifices in response to human sinfulness. Hebrews 10:1-4 tells us...

“For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near. 2 Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, since the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have any consciousness of sins? 3 But in these sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year. 4 For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins.”
— Hebrews 10:1-4

During that era, repeated animal sacrifices were made, year after year, but they couldn't perfect the people or the priests who offered them. At best, they were a temporary appeasement of God's righteous wrath against sin because they didn't have a permanent effect on the worshipper. That person would still struggle with sin and the guilt and shame that accompanies it. Then they'd repeat the animal sacrifices they made previously, but as the writer of Hebrews tells us in 10:4, "it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins."

So, since the blood of bulls and goats couldn't take away the culpability, shame, and separation that comes as a result of sin, another solution would eventually need to be offered. That solution was Jesus. The sacrificial blood that was shed during the Old Testament era foreshadowed the blood Jesus would shed when He came to this earth and took on flesh. It's in the shedding of His blood that our sin is actually atoned for. It's through Him alone that our sin is taken away.

Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said,

Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired,
    but a body have you prepared for me;
in burnt offerings and sin offerings
    you have taken no pleasure.
Then I said, ‘Behold, I have come to do your will, O God,
    as it is written of me in the scroll of the book.’” (Hebrews 10:5-7)

During the Christmas season, we regularly acknowledge the fact that the Son of God took on flesh and dwelt among us, but we don't often give as much thought as we should as to why He did that. So the writer of Hebrews made that clear to us when quoting from Psalm 40. The psalm speaks of the Messiah as coming to this earth with a body that the Father prepared for Him. It also states that the Messiah came to use that body to do the will of God the Father. Jesus, the fulfillment of this prophetic psalm, became an offering and a sacrifice that would be different from the sacrifices of the past. His sacrificial death would satisfy the righteous wrath of the Father against sin, and would be the means by which the problem of human sinfulness would be permanently dealt with.

Sin is a tempting reality of our present lives on this planet. While sin has consequences, and in many respects, we're well aware of those consequences, we still find sin tempting. The things that tempt us are quite common. In fact, we're all struggling with different versions of the same thing. I think there's a part of us all that might still think we can find some level of relief from our pain or our grief if we give in to the temptations of this world.

But if you really want to get serious about your faith, force yourself to remember what Jesus has done on your behalf to atone for your sin. He was born to do this very thing. His incarnation was carried out with a full understanding of the kind of death He would endure in the body. When I think about the price Jesus paid to atone for my sin, both physically and spiritually, my areas of temptation don't seem quite as tempting to me any longer. In fact, I really appreciate the perspective John Piper once shared regarding the incarnation of Jesus...

“The incarnation is the preparation of nerve endings for the nails. That is what the incarnation is. The incarnation is the preparation of a brow for thorns to press through. He needed to have a broad back so that there was a place for the whip. He needed to have feet so that there was a place for spikes. He needed to have a side so that there was a place for the sword to go in. He needed cheeks, fleshy cheeks, so that Judas would have a place to kiss and there would be a place for the spit to run down that the soldiers put on him. He needed a brain and a spinal column with no vinegar and no gall so that the exquisiteness of the pain could be fully felt.”
— John Piper

Jesus endured it all because of the joy that was set before Him. He endured momentary torture so we could enjoy eternal peace. He endured pain so we could find the solution to our pain in Him.

During the days before Christ's incarnation, the priests would repeatedly offer animal sacrifices, over and over. But Jesus came to be the once-for-all sacrifice for sin, and the work He accomplished on the cross never needs to be repeated.

“And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. 12 But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, 13 waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. 14 For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.”
— Hebrews 10:11-14

What a blessing it is to know that Jesus accomplished this for us. What a blessing to know that His single sacrifice for sin was sufficient to pay for our mistakes and acts of rebellion. What a blessing it is to know that the day is coming when we will be perfected in His presence, and sin will never be something we struggle with ever again.

In the meantime, while we look forward to the ultimate effects of the miraculous work Jesus accomplished on our behalf, please take encouragement from some of the present-day blessings we are invited to enjoy through our relationship with Him.

Through Jesus, your conscience is cleansed. I don't know if you're presently wrestling with shame or regret over past mistakes or decisions you made at a less mature season of your life, but if you're still wrestling with shame, I hope you'll be willing to give it over to Jesus today and stop returning to it or recycling it in your mind. It has already been paid for. It has already been dealt with. Jesus took care of it for you. If you believe that the sacrifice He made in the flesh on your behalf was sufficient, then allow yourself to also believe that what He's done for you is likewise sufficient to cleanse your conscience.

Through Jesus, your sins are forgiven. Do you believe that? Can I give you a quick test that will help you understand whether or not you truly believe that statement? When you think about standing before God someday and looking at Him, face to face, does thinking about that experience fill you with dread and fear, or does it fill you with a sense of relief? If you don't actually believe your sins are forgiven, then the thought of being face-to-face with God will no doubt terrify you. But if you truly believe your sins are forgiven and that the sacrifice Christ made in His body fully satisfied the wrath of the Father against sin, that day will be one to look forward to. As God the Father sees God the Son as holy and blameless, so too does He see all those who are united to Jesus by faith.

Through Jesus, you will be made perfect. You may have plenty of struggles right now, but you won't always struggle as you do. The day is coming when, in the presence of Jesus, you'll be blessed with a glorified, sinless body. You won't make any more mistakes. You won't rebel against God. That day is coming, and since it's coming, you should look forward to it. You will be made perfect, but it won't be through your own efforts. It will be accomplished for you by God based on the work Jesus has already done on your behalf.

When Jesus came to this earth, He was made the perfect sacrifice for sins. Let's rejoice in this truth together and give ourselves permission to believe it, and all of the implications it brings with it, completely.

© John Stange, 2022

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