Where is God when I need Him most?

“Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another.”
— Isaiah 48:10-11, ESV

Stephen Colbert gave an interview a few years ago to Anderson Cooper in which the two men shared their experiences with grief. Many people don’t know this about the comedian, but at the age of ten he lost his father and two brothers closest to him in age in a plane crash in 1974. Colbert is the youngest of eleven siblings. At the time, all of them were already out of the house, so he and his mother were left to cope and make sense of the tragedy. When asked how he got through that dark time, Colbert credited his mother’s love for God and the example of her faith. “Even in those days of unremitting grief, she drew on her faith that the only way to not be swallowed by our sorrow, in fact, recognize that our sorrow is inseparable from our joy, is to always understand our suffering, ourselves, in the light of eternity. “ Colbert explained to Cooper that he “learned to love the thing that [he] most wished had not happened.” Quoting J.R.R. Tolkien, he continued, “What punishments of God are not gifts?” 1 An incredulous Cooper, emotional from his much more recent loss, asked, “Do you really believe that?” Colbert, very simply, says, “Yes.” He says, “It’s a gift to exist and with existence comes suffering. If you are grateful for your life, then you have to be grateful for all of it.”

It was a moving interview, clearly touching on Christian beliefs, but in many ways the conversation remained somewhat generic, with references from Tolkien rather than scripture and using phrases that only allude to God’s grace through Jesus. I’m sure it had to do with the fact that this was a national broadcast, and there was a sensitivity to not insulting or offending those that may not follow the same traditions. There was a beautiful message just hanging between the words which went unsaid or only partially said. I watched this interview several times, and it was so unsatisfying to be left open ended like that. So, I went to God’s Word for the complete Truth.

First, Genesis tells us that suffering is a result of the original fall of man. When sin entered the world, pain and suffering were introduced as a consequence of sin. So, you and I experience all forms of this, like bodily pain, sickness, mental illness, addiction, temptation, persecution, and death. We’ve all experienced one form of hardship or another. It is how we choose to go through this suffering, however, that can either draw us closer to God or push us away from Him.

The prophet Hosea says, “Come let us return to the Lord, for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up (6:1). Furthermore, 1 Peter 4:12-13 states: “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

Much of the time there is an assumption that as a child of God our lives are supposed to be easy. Then, if things go south with the loss of loved one or sudden health or financial problems, or even witnessing someone else’s troubles, we might begin to question “Why did this happen to me?” or “Where is God when I need Him most?” What the scripture is telling us is that if we have received Christ, the tearing of God is not to destroy us but to restore. That pain is not wasted. Jesus’ pain was not for nothing. It all comes through God’s loving hands and by his mercy He transforms that pain into faith in Him. There was no other way to bring redemption to the world. God had to come down to a fallen world Himself and die a brutal death, but it was all for an eternal purpose. It’s that understanding which leads us to a more profound joy.

Scripture is filled with calls for us to express our thanks to the Lord. 1 Thessalonians declares that we should give thanks in all circumstances (5:16-18). With that attitude in mind, we are actually able to glorify God through our suffering, until we meet Him face to face. It’s interesting that this life, right now, is the only time we get to worship God in this way, because in Heaven, there will be no more pain or sorrow. I never thought about it like that before, that we have a unique opportunity to use our pain as a form of praise. Everything the Lord does is an expression of His love. He loves us abundantly and at the same time allows misfortune to everyone that receives Him, without exception in order to fulfill a specific purpose. The narrower our focus is, the easier it is for us to only look at the negatives of our present situation. And that’s a natural first step. As we grow and begin to understand more about who God is, we can then thank Him for how He is blessing us in those circumstances and be grateful for it.

In the midst of our suffering we must become dependent on God. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night He was betrayed, He prayed to God that he would not have to endure what was about to happen, yet still resolved “Not my will, but Yours.” When we do that, we gain a fresh perspective and can trust in His promises, that He is always with us and working in and through us in order to save us. Then we can shine His light and give glory to his name. God is the only one who should receive glory for what happens to us, good or bad. By looking to God for help now, especially when things are less than ideal, makes spending eternity with Him all the more meaningful. We are being refined for God’s glory. Our own challenges have very little to do with us but are actually about furthering God’s kingdom.

God doesn’t make mistakes. The bad things that surround us or happen to us are just the visible or tangible elements. God is in control, with all things working toward His eternal plan. 2 Corinthians says, “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (4:17-18 ESV) If there was a question as to whether we will one day “get our money’s worth” out of this life on earth, Paul insists that we not even try to make an assessment; we cannot begin to fathom such an existence.

God owes us nothing, and yet He has given us so much and has done so much for us, and we deserve none of it. Jesus gave life to the promise that everything that perishes will ultimately lead to something greater. He took on a punishment that brought us peace. His agony means we can be free. This life does not last forever, and we have been told the end of the story, that Christ will come again. If we understand God’s purposes for our suffering (for our good and His glory), we can keep our eyes fixed on Christ and the hope we have in Him. When that is the case, our trials seem light and will last just a moment. And when we compare those moments in the scope of eternity, Corinthians tells us, they cannot begin to compare with the glory that shall be revealed to us.

Here is where there is a distinction between how a child of God views tragedy compared to the rest of the world. An imperfect world will not call any kind of pain “love,” as it cannot comprehend without faith, that God uses hardship to draw us closer to Him. In fact, that very idea is used as an argument against the existence of God all of the time. “You say that God is love, but if that were true, there would be no horrors in the world.” It just isn’t so. It is not in God’s nature to torture or harm people. He wants to restore that face-to- face relationship with us. As much as He is perfectly loving, He is also perfectly just. So, again, this suffering is a consequence of sin, but God uses it to draw us closer to Himself. As a child of God, we know we will live a life that includes trials, and it is actually proof that we are walking with the Lord. I believe that God grows us the most through these unpleasant times.

Romans chapter eight talks about being joint heirs with Christ, that we share in all that He does, He is, and has; so that tells us that Jesus shares pieces of His glory, grace, and suffering. When we receive His grace, we have fellowship with Him in all things, including our suffering (physical, psychological, or spiritual). That’s an amazing thing, and on the surface it’s hard to make sense of it in our tiny, human brains. Why would He do that? He already laid His glory aside and condescended from Heaven, and gave his whole self for us. Hasn’t He done enough? The reward should belong to Jesus alone, the whole universe and all of the glory and majesty. But Jesus says to us, “You’re my Father’s child, too.” And he shares everything with us, the pain and the prize. It’s because He loves us.

It’s why we do the same for each other. There are times I’ve gone to funerals, and before I leave the house, I’ll say, “I really don’t want to do this.” It can be uncomfortable seeing people grieve, and I’m not the best at handling my own feelings, so it might stir up past memories or emotions that I’d rather not deal with. But I go anyway, not for myself but for the other person, to show them love and support to get them through that difficult time. Jesus does the same for us. Our suffering is a testimony to what He did on the cross. So when we experience these things, we should look at it as an honor because we are, in that moment, reflecting the image of Jesus who lives in us. We can be filled with the joy of our salvation to help us persevere and focus on our eternal inheritance in Jesus. We have hope that the world is not the end. We’ll be with Jesus forever. The more willing we are to let the suffering shape us into who God wants us to be, and take joy in the fact that His is going through it all with us, our faith in Jesus will only grow.

The Bible is very clear that sometimes the love that God has for us can hurt. In his writings on the Gospel of Matthew, J.C. Ryle, an English evangelical Bishop from the 1800s, wrote:

“There is nothing which shows our ignorance so much as our impatience under trouble. We forget that every cross is a message from God, intended to do us good in the end. Trials are intended to make us think, to wean us from the world, to send us to the Bible, to drive us to our knees. Health is a good thing, but sickness is far better, if it leads us to God. Prosperity is a great mercy, but adversity is a greater one if it brings us to Christ. Anything, anything is better than living in indifference and dying in sin.” (Matthew, pg. 130-131)

If we never experienced suffering and loss, would we ever run to Jesus? Sometimes the love we need most is the love we want least. In the moment, we wouldn’t recognize it as love and we most likely will not understand why we go through these things, but there is more at stake than our own understanding. God sees the whole picture, His whole plan laid out before Him. And in His hands, our mess has meaning. Taking up a cross looks different for everyone. Maybe it means a life of physical pain. For some it might be doing what you don’t want to do because you know God wants you to do it. God is good. Behind the real pain that He allows is an even more real love that we can never be separated from. The joy that we have in Christ is one that surpasses everything else. Jesus tells us, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

© 2021, Jacqueline Kerlin
Submitted as a Guest Post to DesireJesus.com

Sources

  • The Holy Bible, New International Version and English Standard Version

  • “The Late, Great Stephen Colbert,” GQ Magazine; Joel Lovell, August 17, 2015.

  • “The Stephen Colbert Interview,” Anderson Cooper 360⁰; August 20, 2019.

  • “Theology of Suffering: Definition, Biblical Views, Why It Matters,” www.justdisciple.com; McKenna Von Gunten.

  • “What Punishments of God Are Not Gifts?,” www.desiringGod.org; Marshall Segall, August 27, 2019.