The other day, I came across a picture that was taken about 15 years ago. It's a picture of my grandfather, father, one of my sons, and me. We were dressed in nice clothing so we must have been at some sort of formal event, but I don't remember where that happened to be.
There are a few things that stand out to me about the picture. First, it was taken on purpose. All four of us share the same name, so someone must have suggested that we stand together to capture the moment.
Second, we're all smiling. It's obvious that we were happy to be together.
But the thing that stands out to me most when I look at that picture is my son's face. In fact, the other day I asked him to confirm to me if I was reading his expression correctly. His expression reminds me of the kind of face I used to make when my father and grandfather would include me in what they were doing when I was young. My son looked proud to be welcomed into the group, and he assured me that that's exactly how he felt.
All of us have fathers. Some of us are fathers. Some of us will be fathers one day, and others are currently raising future fathers. Wherever you are on that spectrum, I hope you recognize that fatherhood provides a great opportunity to help others develop a deeper understanding of God. I don't think fatherhood is valued in our culture the way it ought to be, but among believers, it should be held in high esteem.
What kind of opportunities does fatherhood provide?
I. The opportunity to demonstrate the heart of God
“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. ”
It's been widely said, and I believe it to be true, that your relationship with your earthly father will most definitely impact your perception of God. If you had a healthy relationship with your dad, it's likely that you're going to assume the best about your Heavenly Father. If your relationship with your earthly father was deficient in some way, you're going to need your Heavenly Father's help to begin seeing your Him from a perspective that isn't negatively tainted by your earthly father's behaviors.
In John 14:9, Jesus said, "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father." Jesus is one with the Father, and He came to demonstrate His heart to us in very clear and tangible ways. In my opinion, one of the clearest ways Jesus demonstrated the heart of God was through His interaction with children. It's clear that the Lord loves and values the life of every child.
In fact, when the disciples were arguing about what greatness in the kingdom of God looked like, Jesus made it clear that to even be part of the kingdom of God, we need to approach Him with the humble heart of a child. A proud, unbelieving heart will never enjoy a rich welcome into the kingdom of God, but those who are willing to trust Him with childlike faith certainly will receive such a welcome.
While making this clear to the disciples, Jesus also made it clear that the nature of God is to be fiercely protective of His children. In fact, Jesus revealed that it would be better to be drowned in the sea than to cause a child to fall into sin.
Jesus revealed to us that God is loving, God is welcoming, and God is protective. You are a treasure to God, and if He blesses you with the privilege to raise or influence a child in any way, you're being entrusted with an opportunity to demonstrate His heart to them. God treasures the time you spend in fellowship with Him, even if some of the people in our lives may not.
Charles Francis Adams, the 19th century political figure and diplomat, kept a diary. One day he entered: “Went fishing with my son today—a day wasted.”
His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: “Went fishing with my father—the most wonderful day of my life!”
The father thought he was wasting his time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time. Isn't it nice to know that God never considers time spent with you wasted? -Silas Shotwell, in September, 1987, Homemade
II. The opportunity to shape the culture
““Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.””
As a father, I have tried as best as I know how to communicate truth to my children. I have told them about Jesus. I have explained the Scriptures to them. I have attempted to pass along the wisdom the Lord has shared with me. I also spend a considerable amount of time in prayer for them, more than they probably realize.
But I don't think the words I share with them or the wisdom I try to convey to them will matter much to them if I don't demonstrate that those words actually matter to me as well. They will be able to see what matters most to me by how I live my life. If I tell them to value Jesus and to avoid becoming wrapped up in the desires of this world while I'm still chained to worldly desires, they could rightly assume that what I'm telling them isn't something I really believe.
Thankfully, I'm confident that my children know exactly what I believe, and I'm grateful to see the impact it has on them. And as I observe that in my own household, and in the households of others, it has become clear to me that the more fathers embrace the opportunity to teach and model the gospel to their children, the more the entire culture is going to be impacted by that example.
III. The opportunity to lead like Jesus
““If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.””
The other day, Andrea and I took a drive to have dinner with one of the pastors from her childhood and his wife. They were a great example of leadership to her, and many of the things they modeled have had an impact on how we try to steward our roles in ministry.
As we were driving there, we saw a family taking a walk together. They crossed the street in front of us while we were waiting at a light, with the father leading the group. He was holding a baby, and the mother was holding the hands of two young children. They all had shirts on that referenced their role in the family. The father's shirt unapologetically said, "Dad." The mother's shirt said, "Mom." And the children had shirts that either said "Son" or "Daughter." As I watched their family, I said to Andrea, "I love that so much. What a beautiful thing to see."
Fatherhood provides a wonderful opportunity to lead, and the wisest fathers learn to demonstrate the heart of Jesus in their leadership. There's a big difference between leading people and bossing people around. Many people make the mistake of believing that they're the same thing, but they aren't. A boss barks out orders and tells you to do things he's not willing to do. A leader invites you to join him in doing the hard things that he's also willing to do. That's the kind of leadership Jesus showed us.
Jesus wasn't afraid to get His hands dirty when serving others. He wasn't hesitant to display a servant's heart and biblical humility toward other people. Just imagine the impact it would have on marriages, parental relationships, and families in general if we took Jesus' example to heart. Fatherhood is a golden opportunity to lead like Jesus, and I'm grateful for the men who can look at the example Jesus gave us by washing the disciples feet and demonstrate their willingness to do the same exact thing in the service and sacrifices they make for their wives and children.
IV. The opportunity to lay down your life
“ “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.””
Chris Schultz's family is sharing his story of heroism, after the 31-year-old gave his life to save his son on Father's Day weekend.
"He loved his kids more than life itself," said Chris' brother, Ryan Olson. "Everyone says it, but he proved it."
Schultz leapt into action after his three year old son, Ashton, fell off Long Bridge in Detroit Lakes on Saturday.
"Ashton, being a curious, adventurous, 3-year-old, crawled through the rail and fell," Olson said. "Someone saw it and Chris went over instantly."
Olson says his brother managed to get Ashton to the surface, but he struggled to keep his own head above water as he handed his son off to a woman near the shore.
"(Chris) was holding on to her as well," Olson said. "He just couldn't hang on and he let go." -ValleyNewsLive.com, 6/18/19
Why would a loving father do this? I believe this is something instinctive that the Lord puts in a man that demonstrates the fact that we were created in His image. And there's no greater example of this kind of sacrificial love than what we see demonstrated in Jesus Christ.
The Apostle John made a point to remind the church over and over again that God is loving by nature. That love was on full display in the life, ministry, and eventual death of Jesus Christ. When someone wants to know what real love looks like, all they need to do is look to the example of Jesus who willingly laid down His life for us. The righteous for the unrighteous. The Savior for the sinner.
We don't deserve the love of Jesus. The only thing we ever did to deserve what He chose to do for us was rebel against Him and goof everything up. We had nothing to offer Him other than our long list of mistakes. But He showed us what love is by laying down His life for us, and if our faith in Him is genuine, we should be willing to do the same for those we love too.
Fatherhood provides a great opportunity to demonstrate the heart of God, to shape the culture, to lead like Jesus, and to lay down your life.
According to something recently shared anonymously on Bible.org, here's what a father teaches...
He teaches kindness by being thoughtful and gracious even at home.
He teaches patience by being gentle and understanding over and over.
He teaches honesty by keeping his promises to his family even when it costs.
He teaches courage by living unafraid with faith, in all circumstances.
He teaches justice by being fair and dealing equally with everyone.
He teaches obedience to God’s Word by precept and example as he reads and prays daily with his family.
He teaches love for God and His Church as he takes his family regularly to all the services.
His steps are important because others follow. -Bible.org
© John Stange, 2021
