One of the fastest ways to become disappointed in life is to begin dwelling on all the good things you think you deserve that you haven't yet received. It's very possible that you believe you deserve a raise at work, a word of praise, to be married if you aren't or to have a better marriage if you are, for your kids to shine like angels, for your bank account to be filled to overflowing, and the check engine light to never come on in your car. But none of these things have been promised to us.
I believe that when we look at what Scripture teaches us, we're shown that when we have Jesus, we truly do have what we need most in this world. We need Him more than we need perfect earthy circumstances. We need Him more than we need the treasures of this earth. We need His mercy more than we need the momentary approval of our peers.
So we can go through life disappointed that we didn't get some of the things that we thought we deserved, or we can be grateful for the mercy of Christ which is a blessing He offers to us that we definitely didn't deserve. And if we can learn to become grateful for Christ's mercy, we'll start to view ourselves and others through that lens. As recipients of mercy, we show mercy. As those who didn't receive the condemnation we deserved, we can also choose not to condemn others but rather bless them in Jesus' name.
In Proverbs 25, I see at least three ways we can live this out. In view of the mercy of Christ, we can honor those who lead us, humble ourselves, and bless our enemies. Each action requires an application of Christ-centered mercy.
I. Honor your leaders
Do not put yourself forward in the king's presence
or stand in the place of the great,
for it is better to be told, “Come up here,”
than to be put lower in the presence of a noble.With patience a ruler may be persuaded,
and a soft tongue will break a bone. (Proverbs 25:6-7, 15)
Years ago I heard a description of what the daily responsibilities of the President of the United States included. During the 1800's, people would regularly line up outside his office waiting for an audience with him in order to seek his appointment to various leadership positions. It was an exhausting process and not a great way to keep a daily schedule. I suspect Solomon experienced similar things during the days when he was king of Israel.
There's a right way and a wrong way to present yourself to a king or a leader. The wrong way is to puff yourself up and assume you have a standing before them. The right way is to view yourself with sober judgment while doing your best to honor those who lead you.
If we're honest, I think we need to admit that at times, we prefer to be honored instead of honoring someone else. We covet the honor that belongs to leaders. We covet the praise that they deserve. This happens on the human level and on the spiritual level. How often in our lives do we attempt to take credit for something God actually did for us? I think we do that because we want the praise that rightfully belongs to Him.
When we begin to view our leaders and ourselves through the lens of Christ's mercy, we can learn not to covet someone else's honor. It's far better to be lifted up by those you respect than to puff yourself up in their presence in a vain attempt to impress them.
Solomon also speaks of patience and soft speech being effective ways to interact with the leaders we're seeking to honor. Merciful speech can persuade the most powerful people, and leaders tend to notice those who communicate in such a way. Those who are in leadership are under constant critique. Sometimes, the most minuscule and minor details of their lives are being picked apart. If your words to them are saturated with the mercy of Christ, you'll be like a healing balm to their spirit.
In view of the mercy of Christ, make yourself helpful instead of merely making yourself visible when you have an audience with someone you admire or respect.
II. Humble yourself
If you have found honey, eat only enough for you,
lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.
Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house,
lest he have his fill of you and hate you. (Proverbs 25:16-17)
For several weeks, ever since I found out that my friend Sarah Graham was starting a food business selling both sweet and savory snacks, I have been bugging her (literally) to make me some sesame beef jerky. It's been an ongoing request that several other people started joining me on. This week, she surprised us by bringing a tray of it to share with our mid-week Bible study. We attacked that tray like the carnivores we are, but I noticed something interesting at the very end of the night. We all loved the beef jerky she made, but there was one piece left and no one wanted to be the one to take it even though we were all eyeing it up. In a special way that might have been easy to overlook, I realized that was a demonstration of humility on the part of the group. We were putting one another above ourselves.
Solomon gives a similar example when he speaks of honey. His counsel was to avoid being gluttonous when you find it. Eat only enough for yourself and don't eat beyond that. Leave the next portion for someone else. Don't make yourself sick through overconsumption because that's a visible demonstration of a self-centered mindset and a lack of humility.
I think he also demonstrates the importance of humility when it comes to the respect we show for another person's time. Solomon tells us to avoid constantly lingering at your neighbor's house or he's going to get sick of you.
When I was a kid, my grandmother's sister lived with her. In the summer, we would spend a lot of time sitting on their front porch during the evenings. Their block consisted of dozens of row homes, and one of their neighbors used to wait for them to be out so she could come down and talk. That was all fine, but she never seemed to know when to leave, so eventually either my aunt or my grandmother would walk inside the house and call out to the other by saying something like, "The baby is crying, can you help?" I always got a kick out of seeing what kind of excuse they would eventually come up with in order to end the conversation.
Failing to respect the time or boundaries of another person is an issue of humility that's worth wrestling with. We're called to put others before ourselves, not approach life like we're the most important person in the neighborhood.
Biblical humility doesn't mean you think poorly of yourself. It means you begin to see yourself exactly as you are in light of who God is. It involves a recognition of the mercy you've been shown by Jesus when He chose to serve you and lift you up at His expense.
Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5)
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus," (Philippians 2:3-5)
III. Bless your enemies
If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat,
and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink,
for you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the Lord will reward you. (Proverbs 25:21-22)
"Enemy" is a word we toss around in the context of the way nations relate to one another, the way rivalries develop between sports teams, and the way we think of those who create conflict for us. But do we have real human enemies, or is that more likely a matter of perception than reality?
I used to think of certain people in this world as my enemies, but I don't any longer. There have also been people at different seasons of my life that have probably thought of me as their enemy as well. But even if they choose to see me that way, I don't have to reciprocate that attitude. I do have enemies, but they aren't other human beings. My enemies are spiritual. Ephesians 6:12 tells me that my real battle isn't against "flesh and blood." It's against the devil and the demons who align with him.
So since I don't have human enemies, I don't have to treat anyone like my enemy any longer. Solomon speaks of that in this proverb, and Jesus speaks of that in His Sermon on the Mount.
According to Solomon, it's wise to give our "enemies" food and drink when they need them. In doing so, we may have a helpful impact on their conscience. We will also be rewarded in some way by the Lord who sees our demonstration of Christ-honoring mercy toward others.
Jesus Himself told us to love our enemies and pray for them. I've learned that it becomes pretty difficult to hate someone or consider them your enemy after you've made them the subject of your prayers. Jesus said it like this...
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 5:43-45a)
Jesus also powerfully demonstrated what it means to pray for those who persecute you when He demonstrated compassion and forgiveness toward those who were crucifying Him.
And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)
Wrapping Up...
When we learn to view ourselves and others through the lens of Christ's mercy, the nature of every earthly relationship we'll ever have begins to change. We'll treat ourselves differently. We'll treat those who lead us differently. We'll treat those who have set themselves against us differently.
What a blessing it is to be an object of the mercy of God through the work Jesus has done on our behalf. We didn't deserve this blessing, but we can live as people who are grateful recipients of it.
© John Stange, 2021
