Deepen your relationships and surround yourself with layers of support
When I promise something to someone, I try to keep those promises. I'm not a big fan of polite conversations where people tell each other things they don't mean, or things they have no intention on following up on, just because it sounds like a good idea in the moment. If someone tells me they're going to do something, I respect them when they actually do it, and I've learned that if I want others to respect me, I need to be sure to do what I have promised to do.
A little over a month ago, I finally updated my car after driving the same vehicle for 14 years. When I posted a picture of it online, a friend of mine messaged me and said, "Nice car! When are you going to pick me up so we can grab some ice cream?" He doesn't live far from me, so I told him that I'd make a point to do that this Summer. Well, the other day, I had the opportunity to make good on that promise.
Late in the afternoon, he sent me a text and said, "Hey, we should grab ice cream tonight so I can check out your car." I said, "Sounds good. Let's do it." Then I checked the weather report and noticed that thunderstorms were predicted for the evening, so I messaged him back and said, "I think it's going to rain later. If you're free, I think we should go right now." He was free, so I drove over and picked him up. He even treated for the ice cream, which was a nice bonus.
I mention that story for two reasons. First of all, I think a simple way we can communicate that we value one another is by keeping our word to each other. Second, we have not been created by God to walk through life alone. He has designed us to live in community. All throughout His word, He encourages us to deepen our relationships, remain accountable to one another, and surround ourselves with layers of support.
I have also come to believe that the input we receive from others, and the ways in which they respond to the help we offer, can also help us gain additional clarity on the nature of our calling and the ways in which God wants us to use our lives.
What counsel does His word give us about these things?
I. Don't live your life in isolation.
The other day, I heard a man share about a very interesting career change he had made. He decided to buy a diesel truck and tow new campers to their destination after customers purchased them. The job takes him all throughout the United States, pays reasonably well, and for the most part, he enjoys it. But there was one major drawback to his new career. He spends a considerable amount of time in isolation, which he admitted wasn't healthy if that was left unbalanced.
I think most of us appreciate moments of privacy and time to ourselves when we can get it, but if we're living the majority of our lives in isolation and we aren't inviting the outside input of others, there's a lot we'll inevitably miss out on.
Community is healthy for God's family because we have been created in His image. For all eternity, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have lived in perfect community. As those who have been fashioned to reflect Him, we have been designed for fellowship and relationship as well. In fact, soon after Adam was created, the Lord said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
When Paul was writing to the Galatian believers, I believe he had some of these foundational concepts in mind as well. Paul spoke of times when believers might be caught in a transgression. Well, how can someone be caught doing anything, whether positive or negative, if he or she isn't living in proximity to others in some fashion. And in response to that, Paul also encourages the church to gently restore brothers and sisters after these errors are made. Again, how can that restoration be made if all we do is avoid one another and live in isolation.
No believer can grow to the level they've been designed to grow to if they make a habit of avoiding the very people that God has placed in their life to help them get there.
II. Help your brothers and sisters carry their burdens.
There are a variety of things Jesus did for us, taught to us, and demonstrated in order to help us understand. When Jesus came to this earth, He kept the requirements of the Old Testament Law perfectly for us, because we couldn't do so. He also taught us that we could summarize the heart of God's law by loving God and loving one another. Then He went to the cross, took the burden of our sin upon Himself, and died a substitutionary death in our place. If we claim to love Jesus, we should value what He has done for us, and one of the most powerful ways we can demonstrate the fact that we value what He has done is by treating one another like He has treated us.
Paul explained to the Galatians that bearing one another's burdens was a visible demonstration of our love for Jesus and love for one another. He describes our willingness to bear one another's burdens as a fulfillment of the law of Christ. The way we treat one another is a visible example that shows that the work Christ has done on our behalf has actually had an effect on our lives. It's the fruit of a heart that has been changed by the Holy Spirit who indwells all who trust in Jesus.
Who, for Christ's glory, is helping you carry your burdens? There are people in my life who are blessing me that way, and it's making a huge difference on my quality of life. Likewise, the older I get, the more Jesus has impressed upon my heart a willingness to bear the burdens of others. I think I was more selfish about this when I was younger, but as my faith matures, I'm becoming less selfish about the burdens I'm willing to bear.
One of my favorite records of all time is Charlie Peacock's album, "Everything That's On My Mind." He wrote that album right after his father passed away, and the record is filled with his reflections on the wisdom he received from his father and some of the lessons his dad taught him during his life.
In one song, Charlie speaks about a time when he was away, but came home and got in trouble with his father almost immediately. He says it this way in the song...
In later years, on a river of tears I drifted home for a while,
Since shame was the only glory I'd ever known, I didn't change my style,
First night home I got drunk and confused,
Mistook you for a fool, you were not amused, you said...
Aim a little higher, cause you're not living,
All this taking, son, and never giving's gonna catch up to you like a ball of fire,
Aim a little...aim a little...aim a little higher,
- "Aim a Little Higher," by Charlie Peacock
What do you think? Have you been doing too much taking and not enough giving in your relationships or are you willing to help your brothers and sisters carry their burdens while also letting them assist you with carrying your own?
III. Be very careful to make sure what you believe about yourself is accurate.
Pride and conceit get in the way of us seeing ourselves through an accurate lens. Paul cautions against that in these verses. As we're bearing one another's burdens, we shouldn't do so with a puffed up attitude. We shouldn't look at the struggles of others in a condescending way or think of ourselves as better than them just because we may not be struggling with the same things.
Likewise, we shouldn't make a habit of comparing the fruit of our efforts to the fruit of the efforts of other people. Jesus is our ultimate standard, and none of us can compare with Him, so we should think of ourselves with humility. We should do what we're called to do, to the best ability we can do it, and we should entrust the ultimate results to the Lord who delights to bless the fruit of our efforts in ways that are exponentially beyond what we could ask or expect.
But again, as we trust the Lord in this way, let's continue to be sure to see ourselves from His eyes. We are His children, and just like everyone else in our life, we too have many struggles, but we can trust the Lord to see us through them all. We don't need to puff ourselves up, or degrade ourselves. If we learn to see ourselves as He sees us, I think we'll also begin to see others as He sees them, and that's a great way to begin deepening the nature of our relationships.
IV. You will reap what is being sown into your life.
Recently, I was asked to speak for a funeral service. It was a service for a woman who had a major influence on me in my teen years when I started taking my relationship with Jesus seriously. She was my pastor's wife, and she also taught the high school Sunday School class in our church. During that season, both she and her husband made significant investments in my spiritual life and made themselves available to help me understand Scripture, living out my faith in Christ, and what it looks like to share that faith with others.
I think of people like that when I look at Paul's words in these verses because he teaches us to share good things with people like that who make deeper level investments in our spiritual walk. He also reminds us that we will reap what's being sown into our lives.
What are you sowing into your life? What kind of seeds are being planted in your soil? Who are you allowing to plant those seeds? I'll guarantee you that what this Scripture says is true. If good, Christ-centered seed is being planted in your life, you're going to see eternally abundant, Christ-centered fruit cropping up. And if you're allowing the seeds of worldliness to be planted, you'll grow a crop of worldliness that also comes with a heaping dose of shame and regret.
When we deepen our relationships with those who love Jesus, and when we surround ourselves with layers of support from our Christian family, we can be certain that we'll be blessed with the help we need to navigate trials, the wisdom we need to make wise choices, and the friendships we need with people who will celebrate our successes and share our joys.
We'll also be blessed with the kind of clarity we need when we're trying to say yes to the dreams, desires, and calling God has placed upon our life. Quite often, God grants us that clarity through the counsel of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
© John Stange, 2021